Carter said, “Take a deep breath,” and as soon as I did, he added a third finger. I heard myself make a high-pitched sound, and he said, “It’s okay, breathe through it,” and I tried to, filling my lungs with air and letting it out again, and after I did that a few times, I felt my body opening around him, and then it was okay.

Nothing we had done so far had prepared me for this, for feeling like my skin was too tight, like I was about to burst out of myself and disintegrate into a million pieces.

I was so wet between my legs that I could feel my arousal sliding down my thighs.

“Shh, you’re doing fine,” Carter said. I wasn’t sure why he was telling me to hush, but I closed my eyes and breathed, and waited for what would happen next.

What happened was that he slid his fingers out of me, leaving me achingly empty. I made a protesting noise, and he laughed softly. His other arm stayed where it was, snug around my waist, holding me up. “You’d better take off those shoes now, sweetheart,” he said.

Legs trembling, I stepped out of my shoes and planted my feet on the carpet. Carter was suddenly several inches taller than me, and I leaned my forehead against the center of his chest, wanting that comfort. He ran his hand up and down my back, soothing me, bringing me back down to earth.

“Are you okay? Should we stop?” he asked.

I shook my head mutely, rolling my forehead against his bare chest.

“Then you’re going to do exactly what I say,” he said, and I shivered at the commanding note in his voice.

And then he bent and lifted me into his arms and carried me over to the bed. He tossed me down onto the mattress, not gently, and climbed onto the bed beside me. He pulled me on top of him, positioning me so that I straddled his hips, his cock nestled hot and hard between the cheeks of my ass. “Do you want to be on top, little girl? You can pretend you’re in charge, for once. See if you can make yourself scream.”

“I’m not—what should I do?” I asked. We both knew that I wasn’t really in charge, and I needed him to tell me what he expected, what I was supposed to do next.

“You need help, hmm? That’s fine.” He opened the drawer in the bedside table and removed a condom and a small bottle. As I watched, he rolled on the condom, and then uncapped the bottle and coated his fingers with the clear liquid inside. It was lube, I realized, and as he reached down and slicked his cock, I realized where he expected it to go.

Well, of course, I told myself—obviously that was what was happening, but somehow it hadn’t sunk in until that moment. I chewed on my lower lip, both terrified and aroused. It wasn’t going to fit, was it? Wouldn’t it hurt? But even so, I wanted to try. The sensations his fingers created had been so intense that I needed to know how his cock would feel.

“Lift up,” he said, and I did, pushing up onto my knees. He positioned the head of his cock at my entrance, rubbing lightly, teasing, and I was on fire, I was burning.

I sank down on his cock, breathing through my mouth as my body adjusted to the intrusion. He was big and hard and I opened slowly around him, my body surrendering, millimeter by millimeter, as I took him into me. It burned, and I breathed through it, waiting for the pain to subside, and then it did, all at once, and I pushed down until my ass rested against his upper thighs, fully seated on his hard cock.

He filled me so completely that there was no room left for oxygen or thought, not in the entire universe, or for the rest of time.

“That’s good,” he said, rubbing his hands up and down my thighs in long strokes. “You’re doing so well, Regan.”

I tossed my hair back over my shoulder. I liked being on top, feeling like I had him at my mercy. In this position, I wasn’t sure how to move. I rolled my hips experimentally, and moaned aloud at the way his erection dragged against my sensitive flesh. It was pleasure and pain mixed together, and so good that I never wanted it to end.

Carter curled his hands around my hips but didn’t try to control my movements, just held me lightly and looked up at me. His eyes were so blue and full of dark light that gazing into them was like falling down a well. His eyes were trying to tell me something, trying to share with me some powerful emotion that I couldn’t name, or was afraid to. I had to look away, overwhelmed.

I rode him, slowly at first, learning how I should move and at what speed, learning how he felt inside me, and how my body opened to accept him. More than ever, I felt like we were made to fit each other, two puzzle pieces clicking together, and the space between us where we joined turned everything into light.

It frightened me. There were plenty of men in the world other than Carter, and I told myself that many of them could probably make me feel this way. But what if that wasn’t true? What if it was something particular about Carter, the way he looked at me, the way he touched me like my body belonged to him? It was too intense, like we had tapped into something bigger than ourselves.

“You feel incredible,” he said to me, and I looked down at him, my hands planted on his shoulders to give me leverage. He smiled at the look on my face, whatever it was, and said, “You’ve never done this before.”

It wasn’t a question. “No,” I admitted, and told myself I didn’t need to be embarrassed. There were probably plenty of women who hadn’t tried this. It wasn’t like he was accusing me of being totally inexperienced and helpless.

“Good,” he said, hands tightening on my hips. “I wouldn’t want anyone else to have seen you like this.”

I swallowed. “Like what?”

“You look like someone’s told you a wonderful secret,” he said, and when I pushed down against him, he pushed up, driving himself deep into my body, and I cried out with the pleasure of it.

I had to speed up after that. I couldn’t wait any longer. Everything felt too good, and I’d been waiting so long already. I worked my hips against Carter, growing more confident, and he slid one hand between my legs and began stroking my clit, driving me closer and closer to the edge. I arched my back, taking him even deeper, feeling a heat and pressure in my lower belly that made my eyes roll back in my head.

Carter pinched my clit between two fingers and squeezed, and I came hard and without warning. Usually I could tell when I was close, but this time it took me unawares, and I bent over Carter, gripping his shoulders and feeling my whole body shake.

He stroked me through it, relentless, until I was too sensitive to bear his touch anymore and tried to squirm away.