Sean and I stare at each other. Every reservation I have about his offer is fighting within me. I try to make a logical argument for accepting, but I can’t. I have years of schooling left and if something happens—if we break up—then I’ll be back in the spot I am now. At least this way I get to control my life. I know I’m too softhearted to live this way for very long. I know it’ll destroy me, but I still can’t walk away from it.

When I was a child, I pictured a guy that would come along and sweep me off my feet. He’d want to take care of me and make me smile. He’d want to be there for me on any terms he could get.

Sean isn’t that guy—he just isn’t.

I know I have to let him go, even though I don’t want to. Whatever weird-ass relationship we had is over, and this is the last time I’ll be with him. As the thought solidifies, it feels like I’ve been buried under an avalanche of stone. I can’t breathe. Tears prick the back of my eyes, but they don’t fall. I wish I was numb. I wish I could say yes to him. I wish I had a different life, because this one is so horrendously unfair.

Sean pulls me from my downward spiral of thoughts. He touches my cheek and leans in, kissing me softly. I close my eyes and decide to lose myself in his arms one last time. There’s no point in holding back, is there? He already knows how I feel about him, it’s not like holding back will hide anything.

The thoughts slip from my mind as his mouth drifts over my cheek and down my neck. He presses his hot lips to my skin over and over again, each time softer than that last. The gentle kisses make my eyelids flutter closed. I sigh, contented, and thread my fingers through his hair. Each kiss is perfect and teasing.

Sean lingers, slowly working his way from one side of my neck to the other. I tilt my head back, rolling it to the side, as the kisses become longer. He finds the spot at the base of my neck that makes me melt. Brushing his lips against my skin, Sean teases me before pressing his mouth harder against my skin, increasing the pressure. His tongue sweeps over that spot and every single rational thought flies from my mind.

A moan escapes from me after a moment and my knees give out. I slip against his hard chest, but Sean doesn’t stop. He holds me tightly against him, kissing the spot harder and more passionately. I shudder in his arms as a myriad of sensations shoot through me.

Since I’ve been with him, I learned there are a few, very small, highly sensitive spots on my body and when they’re touched the right way, it’s euphoric bliss. Sean works the spot with his tongue, never stopping, pressing harder. My eyelids feel so heavy, but the rest of my body feels light and tingly. Part of me wants to hold on, to remain aware of my surroundings, to be coherent and careful.

Sean senses my apprehension. He lifts his lips from my neck and whispers in my ear, “Let go, Avery.”

“I can’t…” My voice is barely there. It catches in the back of my throat before it comes out. I want to let go, I want to—I just can’t. Out of all the things we’ve done, he’s not been like this before. I’m breathing so hard.

“You can. Trust me, baby. I’ll take care of you. Let go, let everything else fade away.” As Sean speaks, his voice becomes deeper and more unguarded.

He presses his lips lightly to that spot again, and I keep thinking that this will be the last time. There won’t be more Sean. There won’t be another chance to lie in each other’s arms and make love. At the same time, the idea of losing myself in him—of completely giving myself over to him—scares me. Fear holds me back.

It’s several moments before Sean speaks again. “I love you, Avery. I always will…” He doesn’t say anything else. He doesn’t pressure me to let go, to lose control. He continues to kiss me, softly, as my mind reels.

I want this. The words echo over and over again. His words, and then his lips, push me over the edge of reason. Something inside of me, the part of my mind that so desperately tries to keep me in one piece, disappears and I’m left alone with Sean.

Desire courses through me, swirling in my stomach, and then shooting between my legs. I dig my nails into his shirt, wishing it wasn’t there. My head tips back and I moan his name.

Sean presses me into the wall, using his body to hold me in place. My fingers play with his hair, as Sean dips his head and trails kisses from neck to my breast. I’m saying things, things that sound too carnal to be coming from my mouth, urging him on. Sean pushes the strap of my bra down and frees my tender flesh. My nipples are taut, craving contact with his lips, but he doesn’t do that. Instead, he touches me gently, moving his hand over my breast before rubbing his thumb over my nipple. I suck in air and slam back into the wall.

Everything feels more intense than usual. Each place his fingers touch flames to life. My hips buck against his as Sean crushes me into the wall. I can feel how much he wants me through his slacks. I wish he’d take them off. I lick my lips, thinking about taking him in mouth, about tasting him.

While my eyes are closed and my mind is lost in lust, Sean takes my breast in his mouth. The response is instant and I can’t remain silent. I gasp, saying his name as my stomach flips, and take his head between my hands. Tangling my fingers in his dark hair, I hold him there against me, urging him to suck, lick, and taste me—to do anything and everything he wants. Waves of lust swirl inside of me, filling my body, until I’m consumed by them. They demand things, and urge me on, making me say things I’d never say in the light of day.

But things are different here, with him, now. There’s a connection between us, like we were made for each other. I feel it, something within me calls to him, wants him, and needs him. It’s like his name was written on my soul and he belongs to me, and in this moment he does. In this moment, Sean is mine.

When his mouth moves, his kisses change from gentle to demanding. His tongue swirls around my nipple, flicking and sucking it. Every time he does this, I slip down the wall, unable to stand on my own. Sean presses into me, holding me in place. He works my sensitive flesh until I’m floating so high from lust that I don’t want to come down, but the place between my legs is throbbing, demanding attention.

Sean knows what he’s done to me, what I’m craving. Before more filthy suggestions fly out of my mouth, his hand slips between my legs and around the scrap of fabric covering me. As his lips work my breast, his finger pushes into me—once—fast and hard. I gasp as he does it and suddenly feel all those tightly wound coils break free. Clawing his back, I buck against his hand, moaning, as I come.

Sean lifts his head from my breast and watches me as my hips rock against his palm. My gaze is heavy with longing, but I’m aware he’s watching me. I slip my tongue over my lips slowly and blink at him, like I want more.

A wicked smile spreads across his lips. “One, you naughty woman.”

A satisfied smile crosses my lips. “Are we counting?”

“We won’t need to. You’ll remember how many times you came tonight and exactly what we were doing.” Sean leans in and nips my neck. I grin, unable to hide how I feel. “I need to fuck you senseless before you wake up from the slutty state you’re floating in, beautiful woman.”

Before he finishes speaking, Sean scoops me up in his arms and carries me across the room. He pulls the sofa chair into the middle of the floor with his foot and then bends me over the edge. My dress is still around my hips, my bra is half on, half off, and the G string around my bottom is quickly removed. Sean unzips his pants and then leans on me. I can feel how much he wants me, which makes me gasp.

“Oh my God, you’re perfect. You know that, right?” Sean rubs his hands over my back, before he sits up and slips his fingers between the V in my legs.

I try to answer him, but I can only make noises in the back of my throat. I’m so wet that his fingers slide easily inside of me. I rock against his hand, pushing back and wanting more, wanting him. He holds me there like that, bent over with my bare ass facing him. After a few moments, I realize he’s teasing me and only touching the sensitive nub. As he does it, I gasp and beg for him to do more. I can’t take the torment.

“Please, Sean, oh God, please fuck me. Please, baby…” His fingers squeeze me hard before slipping into the right spot and disappearing inside of me. I cry out as he pushes a finger in and out of me, making me hotter than I was before, but not offering me any release. My breasts rub against the chair, which makes me completely crazy.

I need him inside of me, but he waits. Instead, the fingers on his other hand trail the curves of my body, lightly touching and caressing every rise and fall of naked flesh. His eyes devour me. Hot breath washes over my neck as his hand moves over my body while the other rocks in and out of me.

The tender touches make me want to turn around and straddle him. Every part of me is humming, begging to be ridden, wanting to feel him inside of me. The light touch of his hands, and the teasing movements between my legs, make me throw my head back and pant. The air feels hot and thick. My body is covered in sweat, my dress is wrinkled around my hips, and I don’t care about anything except having him inside of me, banging into me over and over again. I want him so badly that I can’t control myself anymore.

I’m begging him, “Please, Sean… Baby, please.”

I say it again and again, each time pushing my hips harder against his hand. I can feel his dick against my thigh and wish he’d take me. I want him, I need to feel his long, hard length inside of me, rocking and slamming into me. I beg him again, saying anything that comes to mind, anything at all, to try and make him fuck me.

Sean’s voice sounds light when he speaks, as if he’s enjoying my slutty state more than I am. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

“Be with me, Sean. Please, please, please…” I beg again, not thinking about what it means or looks like. I’ll do anything to have him right then and he knows it.

“I am with you, Avery.” He leans over and presses his back against me, taking a fist full of my breast in his hand. He squeezes me, and rubs my nipple gently. My hips involuntarily buck against him. “You’ll have to be more specific, beautiful.”