When I walk out of the bathroom I’m hit with the scent of bacon and coffee. I glance around like a starving dog, following my nose to the other side of the bed. There’s a tray with silver covers over various dishes. I glance around, wondering where Sean went as I peek under a tray and steal a slice of bacon.

A cold breeze brushes my cheek, making me turn. The balcony doors are open a crack. I walk over slowly. Sean is standing outside, phone in hand, talking to someone. I smile at his back. I can’t wait to wrap my arms around him and go down that crazy hill on the sled. I plan on laughing like a maniac—and let’s face it—I’ll probably fall off the sled a few times too.

As I walk toward the door, Sean’s voice becomes clearer. “No, I won’t. You’re on your own, Pete. I have enough problems. Deal with it yourself.” He’s quiet for a moment. Sean bows his head and rubs his temples. Whoever he’s talking to is stressing him out really bad. The little vein on the side of his head is throbbing. I wonder who it is or what they want. Sean never lets anyone get to him about anything. Even when he was at the table with Henry, Sean was so cool and collected. I had no idea how jealous he was until later.

I know I shouldn’t listen, that I should back away, but I can’t. This seems personal and Sean plays his cards close to his chest. I want this glimpse of him. I need it. I step closer.

Sean shakes his head and pulls his coat closed. Snowflakes stick to his dark hair and the shoulders of the jacket. “You’re making a mistake. Stop laughing, dickwad, and I have every right to say it. I know, all right. You don’t want anything to do with that shit and if you get caught—well, I’ve been there. I’m not helping you. If you want it, you’ll have to take it from me.” Sean shakes his head, annoyed, and ends the call.

When he turns he sees me through the glass. “Avery.” His voice is strained, like he’s afraid of what I heard.

I push the doors open and lean on the doorjamb. A cold gust of wind hits me in the face. Folding my arms over my chest, I ask, “Who’s Pete?”

“No one important.” Sean’s eyes dart past me toward our breakfast. “Did you eat?”

“No, not yet.” I stare at him. Liar. Pete is someone very important. It’s written all over his face. “You can tell me stuff, you know. I won’t share your secrets. It’s actually part of what makes this whole arrangement less call-girlish and more normal. You know, you tell me something that bothers you and I tell you something that irks me.”

Sean doesn’t blink. He doesn’t look away or make excuses. Flurries continue to fall from the sky while the two of us have a staring contest like a pair of five year olds. Sean finally smiles and looks away. “Fine, I’ll tell you, but let’s go inside. I can hear your stomach growling from here.”

Horror washes over my face. My tummy’s been grumbling since I smelled the food. I didn’t think he could hear, not with the street noise. Sean laughs and puts his arm over my shoulder as he pulls me inside. “You’re so cute, so absolutely adorable. You’re also a terrible snoop.” He turns me in front of him and kisses the tip of my nose. Then, he swats my bottom, pushing me toward the food while he closes the doors and shucks his coat. Sean’s already dressed. He’s wearing a form-fitting blue sweater with a pair of jeans and biker boots.

“I wasn’t snooping. You ordered food and then weren’t around. It’s not like I’d eat it without you.” Sean glances at me and raises an eyebrow when he lifts the cover off the bacon. The nice neat stack isn’t so neat anymore. “Okay, I ate that.”

“I see.” Sean laughs and pulls me over to the couch. He dishes up a plate and grabs himself some coffee. Sean sits down next to me and grabs a piece of bacon off my plate. As he eats, he talks. “That was my brother. He wanted to see me. I told him no.”

“Why?” I’m shocked. I didn’t expect Sean to tell me anything. I remember him saying something about a sibling, but Sean never talks about him. “I mean, what’s so bad about seeing him?”

“If I see him, I’ll cave. You might think I’m a calloused ass—”

“Your ass is not calloused.” I wink at him, and clink my coffee mug to his.

Sean smiles again. It’s such a great thing, making that man smile. “I’m glad you noticed.” He winks at me, and then the pensive look returns to his face. “What do you think I should do?”

Holy shit. He’s really asking me for advice? I freeze with my cup to my lips. I lower it and ask, “Is this a trick?”

“What?” he laughs.

“It just seems like a huge coincidence, that’s all. I ask you about personal stuff, you don’t tell me, so you make something up. It fits with your type of cray-cray, so why not?”

Sean presses his lips together really hard. His shoulders start to shake as he tries not to laugh, but he does a horrible job. “My type of crazy?”

“Cray cray,” I correct. “Crazy-ass to the second power. Completely bat shit crazy. Cray cray.”

“Yeah, I’m not saying that—like ever.” Sean starts laughing again.

I roll my eyes and sip my coffee like I’m an adult. “It seemed like a logical question.”

“Logic left this conversation a while ago.” Sean wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. I can see old laugh lines on his face. He must have been happy at one point. The fine lines around the corners of his eyes and mouth are ghostly reminders of the man he used to be. I wonder if he’s still in there. Sometimes I feel so lost, like I’m so far gone that I’ll never be happy again. Then things like this happen, and Sean is laughing more than I would have thought possible.

“Shut up, Cray cray, and tell me about your brother.” I bump his shoulder with mine, and finish up the food on my plate.

“Pete fell off the face of the earth a while back, severed all contact. He was going through some stuff. I got it, so I didn’t try to find him. Sometimes you have to work things out on your own. I get that. Anyway, he wanted to come see me. He’s asking about stuff he shouldn’t be asking about. I don’t want him to do what he’s thinking about doing. It’ll fuck him over.”

“What does he want?”

“The gun.” Sean’s eyes glaze over. He’s lost in a memory.

A gun? The hairs on my arms prickle like a bad omen. I want what’s best for Sean and he’s too isolated. At the same time… it’s his brother. “Won’t he get one from someone else if you don’t help him?”

“Maybe.” Sean looks over at me. “You think I should see him?”

I nod. “Yeah, I do. He needs you. Maybe he doesn’t actually want a gun—maybe he just wants your help.”

Sean considers what I’ve said. When he looks back up at me, he asks, “Come with me. Make sure I don’t give it to him.”

I nod. Part of me wonders why Sean has a gun and why his brother doesn’t just get another one. Why try to get it from Sean? I don’t know much about his family, just that Sean is estranged from them. Talking to his brother is a big deal. I hope I’m encouraging the right thing. I just think that he shouldn’t be alone anymore. Living life that way is too damn hard.

Questions swirl in my mind, about Sean and his family. “Sean?”

“Yeah, baby?” He’s lost in thought. Sean rubs his hands over his face and looks over at me.

“Will you ever be able to tell me what happened?” I don’t say the rest. I can’t seem to get the words out. He didn’t kill them, there’s no way. Our eyes lock and the pain that I stirred up is visible in his eyes. I want to hold him in my arms and take it all away. I have no idea what those blue eyes have seen, what they’ve lived through, but he’s not the monster he thinks he is—he’s just not.

Sean breaks the gaze and looks away. After a moment, he says, “Someday, Avery. Just, not now. This was supposed to be your day. I have one day to win you over and pull you away from Black. I feel like I’m wasting it.”

“You’re not wasting it.” I put my hand on his knee and lean into him. Sean drapes his arm over my back and pulls me in close. “The gun has something to do with her death, doesn’t it?”

Sean nods. It’s barely noticeable. “I haven’t said a word about any of it to anyone. Talking about that is like shoving splinters into my eyes. I can’t stand it. It drags up everything I’m trying so hard to forget. My life ended that night. I didn’t care what they wanted to do to me.” He blinks and stares straight ahead when his eyes reopen. “There was so much blood. People don’t make mistakes like that…”

I squeeze his arm to silence him. I feel how fragile he is, like a piece of frayed rope with only a few strands left. Sean leans into me and I wrap my arms around him. Sean lets me. He doesn’t tense up as soon as I touch him. Not this time. After a moment, he pulls away and stands.

“Where are you going?” I ask.

“I’m inviting Pete to dinner.”

CHAPTER 6

“No,” Miss Black’s voice is firm. I called to tell her that we’re leaving the hotel for a while. “I forbid it, Avery. If you leave, Gabe will make you wish you hadn’t.”

“So, I’m stuck here until Sunday morning?”

“Yes, that was written in your contract. It was explicit. Mr. Ferro has possession of you until that time. You are to do as he asks with the stipulation that you remain at the same location. I can’t have you traipsing all over New York and still protect you. How would I do that?”

“Have Gabe drive us.” I offer. Sean is watching me as I talk to Black. He grimaces like that was a terrible idea.

“No, stay at the hotel with Mr. Ferro. This conversation is over.” She’s mad. I seem to have a knack for pissing her off. The line goes dead before I can say another word.