“Don’t worry, Tanner Michael Chase, it will be all right.”

A smirk found his lips. “You know I hate when you use my full name.”

I laughed. “That’s exactly why I do it.”

“Well, we should make a toast,” Tanner offered. Faye came crashing into the room and lifted one of the shots high.

“I’m all about toasts when tequila is involved.” She giggled. “Or vodka, whiskey, rum, rubbing alcohol…”

I laughed and the three of us held the shot glasses in the air. Tanner cleared his throat. “To old friends making new beginnings. We missed you and Emma, Liz, and we are so damn happy to have you back. May the next few months be easy on you, and may you remember that you’re never alone.”

With one swift movement, we downed the shots.

“So, random question. I want to change all the locks in the place just for a new start. Do you know anyone who can do that?”

“Definitely, Sam can.”

“Sam?”

“You know the guy I fired so I could hire you? The socially awkward kid at the café? His dad has a shop that Sam works at part-time for that kind of stuff.”

“Seriously? You think he’ll help me out?”

“Of course. I’ll tell him he has to, or else I’ll fire him.” Faye winked. “He’s weird as all get out, but he’s good at his job, and quick.”

“Since when do you like quick guys?” I joked.

“Sometimes a girl just needs a dick, a beer, and reality television all within thirty minutes. Never underestimate the power of a quickie.” Faye poured herself another shot and danced away.

“Your best friend might be the first woman I’ve ever met who actually thinks like a man,” Tanner joked.

“Did you know that she and Matty are—”

“Fucking? Absolutely. After you left, she needed a girlfriend to complain to in person, and somehow she decided I looked like I had a vagina. She showed up at the auto shop every day with a story about Fatty Matty—which by the way, made me extremely uncomfortable.”

I giggled. “You mean you aren’t interested in her nicknames for her sexlationships?”

He leaned in. “Flakey Frankie? Is that a real thing?”

“Faye’s far from a liar.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate for poor Frankie.” I smiled, maybe because of the alcohol, maybe because Tanner reminded me of some of the best memories. He leaped onto the countertop and patted a spot beside him, which I accepted. “So, how’s Miss Emma doing?”

“Sassy as ever.” I sighed, thinking of my babe.

“Just like her mother.” He laughed.

I lightly shoved him in his shoulder. “I still think she received the loud sass from her father.”

“True, he was quite the handful. Remember when we went out for Halloween and Steven thought he could fight anyone because he was dressed as a ninja? He kept yelling at anyone and everyone he came across, but instead of being an awesome real life ninja, he ended up with a black eye and got us kicked out of three bars.” We both laughed together, remembering how much of a terrible drunk my husband had been.

“If I remember correctly, you weren’t the best influence on him. You always drank a bit too much and became the jerk that egged on the people who always ended up beating up my husband.”

“Truth. I’m not the nicest person when I have one too many drinks, but Steven understood that. Damn. I miss the asshole.” He sighed. We stopped laughing, my eyes growing heavy. His eyes grew heavy, too, and we sat silent, missing him together.

“Well,” Tanner said, changing the subject. “The landscape around this place looks like complete shit. I can come by and cut the grass for you if you want. And maybe toss up the fence to keep the place a bit more private.”

“Oh no. Actually, I think I’m going to take care of it all. I’m only working part-time, so it will give me something to do until I find more steady work.”

“Have you thought about getting back into interior design?”

The question of the week. I shrugged. “I haven’t really thought much about anything for the past year.”

“Completely understandable. Are you sure you don’t want a hand around this place? It’s no big deal for me to help you out.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. There comes a point when I have to start doing things for myself, you know?”

“I hear ya. But I think you should stop by my shop on Sunday. I have something I want to give you.”

I smiled. “A gift?”

“Something like that.”

Nudging him in the shoulder, I told him we could meet up on Thursday night if Emma could join us.

He nodded, then lowered his voice, staring my way. “What’s the hardest part?”

That was a very easy question for me to answer. “There are times when Emma does the funniest thing, and I’ll call into the other room for Steven to come see her. Then I pause, and remember.” The hardest part about losing someone you love is the fact that you also lose yourself. I placed my thumb between my teeth and chewed on my nail. “Enough depressing stuff. What about you? Still dating Patty?”

He cringed. “We don’t really talk anymore.”

I wasn’t surprised. Tanner was as into commitment as Faye was.

“Well, aren’t we just two sad, single peas in a pod.”

With a laugh, he lifted the bottle of tequila, pouring us another shot. “Here’s to us.”

The rest of the night kind of faded together. I remembered laughing at things that probably weren’t funny, crying over things that weren’t even sad, and having the best night I’d had in quite some time. When I woke up the next morning, I was lying in my bed, not exactly sure how I got there. I hadn’t slept in the bed since the accident. I reached for Steven’s pillow and hugged it to my body. With a deep inhale of the cotton pillow case, my eyes faded closed. Even if I didn’t feel it yet, there was no denying the fact that this was home. This was my new normal.

Chapter Six

Elizabeth

Sam stopped by to change out the locks around the house later that week. I knew Faye called him creepy, but there was something so easy and friendly about him. He had blond hair that he spiked and rectangle glasses that somewhat hid his sweet, brown stare. His voice was always low when he spoke to me, and so sweet. If he thought he offended me—which he never did—he always kind of backtracked and apologized with a bit of a stutter.