Nice.

I need to look that word up again.

Ethan

I get a turn at "conferencing" with Rae. She doesn't like to be called doctor. She says we are all "learning colleagues." She tells me details of her life. Since we are colleagues, she says, I should know as much about her as she knows about me. She is forty-eight, older than Claire, but she looks about ten years younger. I wonder what has aged Claire so. She says she moved here from Ohio when she was a teenager. It was hard for her to move at that age.

"Was your move from New York difficult for you?" she asks.

New York. Right. Mother says not to tell we are from Boston. Reporters are always bothering Father, and she wants peace and quiet.

"No," I say. "I slept right through it."

She smiles. "It sounds like you're flexible, Jenna — and have a sense of humor. That will take you far."

I let her think what she wants.

She tells me that the three days a week that we meet, teacher-collaborators will instruct on core subjects. State requirements are modified as much as possible to complement the ecosystems emphasis. This morning while she and I conference, Ethan is leading a discussion with the others on Walden. Apparently, literature is Ethan's strength. Gabriel is teacher-collaborator for problem solving and logic. Allys leads science and ethics. Dane leads art explorations. Rae fills in the holes.

"Would you be interested in leading us in historical explorations? We're just about to begin a discussion of Easter Island and the — "

"Easter Island was settled approximately A.D. 300 by the Rapa Nui. By A.D. 1000 deforestation was under way to satisfy the islanders' demand for moai construction. The loss of forest resulted in erosion, which in turn accelerated the rapid decline of trees on the island. By 1600, the failing resources of the island could no longer support the population, and as a result, cannibalism — "

I notice Rae's peculiar expression, so I stop.

"Uh, yes, I guess you do know your history," she says.

"I'm familiar with Walden, too, if Ethan needs help." I'm more than familiar — I could recite it word for word, but I don't tell her that. I'm startled at this revelation myself. Until she mentioned it, I had no recollection of Walden. I must have loved literature, too.

"I see." She looks back at my questionnaire. I know what she is going to say before the words leave her mouth. Weaknesses? You have no weaknesses? It skips through me. Catches. Weakness. Please, Jenna. We need you. Why do I see Kara's and Locke's faces? They couldn't have been my weaknesses. They feel more like my strengths.

"And no weaknesses?"

"I didn't write them down."

"Would you like to share?"

Share?

I'm afraid.

I'm lost.

I have no friends. It keeps coming back to that. Why does it bother me so?

I have no friends.

Which weakness shall I tell her?

"I walk funny," I say, and she is satisfied with that.

Morning collaborations continue until eleven. I correct Ethan twice in his evaluations of Walden. I want to be his friend. Friends help friends.

It is my second time that prompts him to raise his voice. "But it was his rejection of materialism and the Industrial Revolution that was the point of his move to Walden Pond and the strength of the entire — "

"Not true," I tell him. "It was a private journey as much as a public one. He was searching for his personal essence as much as he was making a political statement."

"But — "

"In his final conclusion he says, It is life near the bone where it is sweetest. And building on that he says, I sat at a table where were rich food and wine in abundance, and obsequious attendance, but sincerity and truth were not; and I went away hungry from the inhospitable board."

"But what about — "

"And of course, much earlier he plainly states, / went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately . . . to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life . . . to — "

"I get it," Ethan snaps.

Dane, Allys, and Gabriel stare at me. Ethan looks away. Rae is quickly flipping through Walden, running her fingers down the pages. Finally she raises her eyes to me, too.

Dane stands. "The only thing Thoreau and I have in common is that we're both hungry," he says. "I'm outta here."

Rae looks at her watch. "Eleven. Yes, it's time for our break, Thank you, Jenna. And you, too, Ethan."

Dane is already out the door. Rae is drawn away by Mitch and something more important than me.

The others stand awkwardly. I can see I've upset the balance. Do they have to include the new girl who walks funny in their break plans? Do they have to redefine boundaries? Do they have to make room for someone who interrupted Ethan when she should have kept her big mouth shut? Why can I see that now when it's too late?

"Break is for two hours," Allys says. "Time to eat, work on personal projects, conference — Rae's big on that. You can do whatever you want."

Gabriel gestures over his shoulder. "We usually go across the street and get something to eat at the market. Everyone's kind of on their own."

On their own. Right. I get it.

I nod. "Then I'll just stay — "

"Want to come?" Ethan asks.

Allys

Allys removes her leg and props it against the table. "I'm not supposed to take them off at school, but this one still bothers me." She massages her stump. Gabriel and Ethan go on eating their lunches. I stare at the stump and then the artificial leg. "Does this bother you?" she asks. "I can put it back — "