What had he thought?

“I don’t know what to do.”

Darcy placed her hand on his cheek. “Together you will figure it out. Now go.”

He hesitated for a moment then kissed his sister on the cheek and turned toward his brother.

“Dude, just get out of here,” Spencer said taking a step back.

Tyler laughed with a nod. “I think I will.”

Chapter Thirty

For a moment, Tyler just sat in his car looking at Courtney’s house. What if her parents were wrong? What if she didn’t want to hear what he had to say now?

There was only one way to find out and sitting in his car wasn’t going to get him to where he wanted to be.

Tyler stepped out, shut the door, and walked up the steps to the house. If this didn’t go well, could he live only a few blocks away from her and never think about her? Could he go on with his life in Nashville or would he need to relocate . . . again?

He knocked on the door and waited.

“Who is it?” Her voice was soft and sad on the other side of the door.

“Courtney, it’s Tyler. Please let me in to talk to you.”

It was quiet again. He waited for a moment, but it seemed like a lifetime, before he raised his hand to knock again. The door opened.

There she stood. Her hair was pulled up. Her clothes were well worn and comfortable. Her feet were bare and her mother must have taken her for a pedicure to try and cheer her up because her toes were bright pink.

In her arms she held the journal they had taken out of Fitz’s room.

“Hi,” he said in a weak attempt to win his way into the house.

“Why are you here? The gala is now. They need you.”

“And I need you more.”

She shook her head. “I’m not someone you can easily love. So you should go find someone who you won’t have to burden yourself with the rest of your life.”

“Are you kidding me? Is that what you think you are?” He stepped closer to the threshold without stepping over. “I’m sorry your brother died by his own hand. I’m sorry he scared the horse that made you see the world differently. I’m not sorry you picked me up at the airport and I’m not sorry I fell in love with you.” He rested his hands on the doorjambs. “I don’t want to lose you and for the past few weeks I’ve been miserable. Please, just let me talk to you.”

“If I let you in, will you leave when I ask you to?”

“Yes.”

“Will you do me a favor while you’re here?”

“Anything,” he knew it sounded desperate.

She handed him the journal. “I need you to read this to me. I need to know what he was thinking.”

Tyler took the journal and held it in his hands. “I think that’s very wise.”

Courtney stepped back into the house and walked toward the kitchen. Tyler followed, shutting the door behind him.

She was making tea and had already taken down a second cup by the time he’d walked into the kitchen. She hadn’t offered him any, but she was making it.

Watching her, he realized just how much he’d missed her. He couldn’t live without this woman in his life. So if she didn’t accept his proposal he’d have to convince her in some way that they had to remain friends.

“Have a seat. I’ll bring the tea to the table,” she said.

Tyler sat quietly. He knew the process. She was thinking as she took to the redundant task of making tea. When she was ready she’d let him know.

Courtney eventually turned with both mugs of tea, walked to the table, and set them down.

“Thank you,” Tyler said gratefully as she sat down.

“I didn’t even ask if you wanted it.”

“It’ll be fine. I’ve missed having tea with you.”

Courtney held her mug to her lips, blew, and then set it back down. “How is the gala?”

“Packed. Even Simone’s father was there.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “Really? Why?”

“I didn’t ask. I was busy making sure everyone was where they were supposed to be.”

Her head lowered. “I should have been there. I let everyone down.”

It was a risk, but he reached across the table and rested his hand on hers. “You didn’t let anyone down. You have things you need to deal with. Anyone who wouldn’t understand that isn’t human.”

She picked up her mug again and took a sip of her tea. As she lowered it, she lifted her chin. “Do you have the journal?”

“I have it.”

“Will you begin to read, please?”

He moved his chair closer to her and raised his hand to her cheek. “I will.”

She placed her hand over his. “I don’t know what to expect.”

“You can expect that no matter what this book says I’ll be here when we’re done reading it.”

She nodded as he retracted his hand and opened the book.

The pages were filled with the handwriting of a man who influenced everything Tyler currently did, but whom he didn’t know.

He started on the first page and read through years of a life cut so short. Fitz hated the military life, but he liked knowing his father was proud of him. Though he loved his mother, he couldn’t stand to reside in her home, which was one of the reasons he’d bought the house Courtney lived in. He was happy that it had pissed his father off, but he was also happy to have Courtney out of her parents’ house.

Court can do anything and everything on her own. Having the house gives her that opportunity. Under Mother’s thumb she will forever be Mother’s pet. And Dad needs to see her as something other than a disabled girl, she’s anything but disabled.

Today I watched her saddle up a horse and take a long ride. I can’t even imagine she’d want to be near a horse after what happened to her.

Tyler reached for her hand again and she took his, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles.

I know that if something had happened to me like that I wouldn’t have been as strong as she always has been.

He looked up at her and saw her lip tremble.

I know I was only four, but every day I feel horrible that she can’t just hop into a car and drive away from everything. I can do that. She should be able to too.

I’m heading back for another deployment. I hate thinking I have to leave her, but I’m going to leave her the house. She deserves that.