Austin’s eyes widened and I watched his throat swallow. “You sure?”

Nodding, I lifted my chest, and Austin positioned us so I was on top, straddling his thighs.

“Condom?” I asked bravely, but I knew my face was on fire with my blush.

“In the top drawer,” he replied, and leaning over, I removed a gold foil packet and ripped it open with my teeth.

Austin took the condom from my hands, and I watched as he rolled it on. Stroking his hands up my calves, he stopped when they rested on my thighs.

“You ready, Pix?” he asked, and his eyes were suddenly concerned.

Bending forward, I met his lips with mine, tasting myself on his tongue, and reaching down, I took his length in my hand and guided him inside.

As I pushed his hardness within me to the hilt, Austin broke from the kiss on a gasp, his firm hands nearly bruising my thighs.

Sitting up, I whimpered as Austin pushed inside me, making me so impossibly full, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to be possessed by him, consumed by him, and when I glanced down into his Italian eyes, I could feel that need in him too.

Stilling my hips, Austin’s neck strained and his thumb stroked soothingly at my thigh. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Taking a shuddering breath, I took hold of his hands and held them up before me. “I want you to touch me.”

Furrowing his brows, Austin asked, “Where, Pix? Touch you where? Just say… just say where.”

As my hands began to shake in nerves, Austin sucked in the corner of his lower lip, and I cautiously guided his hands around to my back.

Austin froze and tried to pull back. “Pix, no. Don’t. I ain’t gotta touch you there. It’s okay. I don’t want to spark your trigger.”

My heart skipped a beat at his thoughtfulness, and I replied, “I want you touch me there. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine in every way, no barriers in our path.” I lowered my lids in embarrassment and hushed out, “It’s the last of my walls to break down… and… and…”

Austin’s fingers threaded through mine, and he said, “What, Pix?”

“I want you to be the one to finally break the trigger. All of this started with the rejection of a boy I liked… I want it to end with the acceptance of the boy I love.”

His nostrils flared and he nodded in agreement.

Keeping his gaze fixed on mine, I guided his hands to my back and, closing my eyes, laid them flat to my skin.

At first, Austin’s palms felt like branding irons, and I couldn’t breathe… I can’t breathe! It is happening again! I… I… I—

“Shh, Pix. It’s okay,” Austin soothed, and he began moving his hands up and down my back in a slow, rhythmic motion. I focused on the motion of his hands, and, minutes later, my breathing had calmed and my eyes snapped open.

He was touching my back… He was touching my back.

“Austin…” I murmured as tears fell from my eyes.

Lifting his torso, our stomachs now flesh to flesh, Austin crushed his lips to mine, and I began rocking on top of him.

Heat built between our bodies the faster we moved, and with every caress of Austin’s hand on my back, I fell deeper in love, savoring the complete trust that was building along with our release as I gripped his dark, messy hair.

Snapping back on a hiss, Austin broke from my lips and groaned a long, drawn-out groan. “Pix… I’m gonna come. Gonna come so hard, baby.”

Panting breathless, I gripped tighter to Austin’s hair and pressed my forehead to his. “Me too… I’m gonna… ah… Austin… I’m coming… God… I’m—”

Shutting my eyes, lights exploded, and I felt Austin still, his fingernails digging into my back, and he moaned loudly into my neck.

Still joined, our bodies now slick with sweat, we clung together as we came down from our mutual high… from our life-changing moment… from baring our souls… from breaking my final trigger.

Austin’s hot breath blew against my neck, and when he looked up, I saw pure love shining through.

“Ti amo,” he whispered, his inky long lashes wet with emotion. “Ti amo, Pix.”

Caressing his cheek, I replied, “Ti amo. Ti amo tantissimo.”

Austin’s responding smile could have blotted out the sun it was so bright.

“Puoi parlare Italiano, Pix?” Can you speak Italian? Austin said in between kissing my neck.

“Ci sto provando.” I am trying, I said in return.

Huffing a laugh and working his lips over the flesh of my br**sts, Austin pulled back, threaded my hand through his, and said, “Come with me to San Francisco. Come with me and Lev. Be our family.”

Slapping my free hand across my chest, I began to shake my head. “You don’t want that, Austin. I’m still recovering from this illness, and you don’t need the distraction of me there when you make something of yourself.”

“I need you,” he said sternly. “I need you so badly. And I could be there for you… to help you.”

“What… what if I relapse again? It would be too much—”

“Then I will be there to get you through it. I don’t want football and California if I don’t have you. I need you… I need you so f**kin’ much. You saved me from myself… and you saved Lev too.”

I smiled at a sudden flash of memory.

“What?” Austin asked, smiling too.