Sugar Rush Page 29
With raised eyebrows and mouth slightly agape, he repeats, “You love her?”
Yes, JT. I think I’ve fallen in love with the woman you raped ten years ago. What I really want to do is kill you. Choke you with my bare hands while you plead with your eyes for me to stop. I want to watch you take your last breath, and then I want to go tell Sela that she’s been avenged.
But I can’t say that, so I simply say, “I think I do. I mean…I can’t seem to get enough of her. I’ve asked her to move in permanently with me, and I think she’s the one. You know how you just kind of know?”
JT shakes his head and I’m not surprised when he says, “No. I don’t know. Never felt that before for a woman.”
Because you’re incapable of love you selfish, narcissistic, sociopathic prick.
“I wish you could feel it, buddy,” I tell him with a wistful smile. “It’s amazing. Finding someone you want to devote your life to.”
JT just blinks at me, clearly perplexed. He can’t comprehend that level of care.
“Finding a woman who completes you,” I continue as I pin him with a fervent look. “A woman that you would do anything for. Defend to the end. Be her knight in shining armor. Make all her worries and hurts go away, no matter the cost.”
I’m going to make you pay for what you did to her, you fucking bastard.
“Yeah,” I say with a smile leveled at my half brother. “I think I love her.”
Tilting his head to the side, he gives me a pointed look. “You’ve only known her a few weeks.”
“Almost a month and a half.”
“Still not very long to fall in love,” he says skeptically. “Especially for a confirmed bachelor.”
Now, let me throw a little more bait out there for you. Make you think you’re my guy. Buds to the end. “You think I’m rushing it?”
JT chomps down hard on the bait and sits up straighter in his chair as he tosses down the document. He leans forward, resting his forearms on the desk, and clasps his hands, leveling a serious look at me. “Listen…I don’t know Sela very well, but dude…she’s a Sugar Baby. Sugar Babies are all about the money. Now, I’m not saying that’s what she’s doing, but just remember what her initial agenda was when you first met her.”
I have to practically bite down on the inside of my cheek not to laugh out loud, because it’s fucking funny that JT would even try to hazard a guess as to what Sela’s original agenda was when I first met her. He’d be shocked as shit to know it wasn’t to get my money but to murder him in cold blood.
Still, this opportunity is too good to pass up, so I play along with JT’s overly concerned, best-friend act. “You think she could be after me for my money?”
JT shrugs, acting nonchalant, but he can’t hide the barest hint of malice in his eyes. It sparkles at me, and in this moment, I know for a fact that JT doesn’t like Sela. I think about what she told me—about the way he treated her on the way to dinner that night—and it hits me with absolute certainty that JT might even be slightly jealous of her. That she has my attention, and it’s becoming more important than my friend and business partner.
“I don’t know, buddy,” he says somberly. “I just want you to be careful and remember the reason she’s a Sugar Baby. It’s always about money with them.”
Not with Sela, I want to automatically say, because that’s the truth. While I know she was grateful for the payment of her student debt, she absolutely shuns my money in all other respects. But JT doesn’t need to know how much I’ve come to respect her. I need him to see us as buddies, cohorts…partners to the end.
Until I end him, that is.
I nod along, trying to look grateful for his sage advice. “It makes sense,” I say, scratching at my chin. “I mean…she doesn’t seem to care about my money, but still…you’re right. I haven’t known her that long, and while I’m not ready to give her up fully, maybe I need to put the brakes on…slow things down a little.”
There’s a tint of satisfaction in his eyes, then he gives me a full, dazzling smile. “I’ve got your back, man. Always.”
“Just as I have yours,” I tell him with as much fake gratitude and emotion as I can muster.
He holds my gaze, beaming warmth and camaraderie. It makes me slightly nauseated, but I beam my own smile back at him.
“Big plans for Christmas?” JT asks as I stand up from my chair, indicating that our bro chat is over. He stands as well. “I assume you’ll make your required appearance at your parents’ party this Thursday.”
I grimace, and there’s no hiding that emotion, but it’s okay, because JT knows how I feel about my parents. He knows I generally shun their zest for fame and fortune, which includes the annual Christmas Eve party where they can show off their perfect house and perfect family—minus Caroline and Ally, of course.
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” I say in a low voice as I turn toward his office door. “You?”
“You know I will be. Not about to pass up that amazing food and liquor,” he says with a laugh as he walks out from behind his desk and follows me to the door.
“Will you be bringing Sela?” JT asks, trying to sound casual. “Because if not, we could go out after the party. Paint the town red or something.”
Yeah, fucker. That won’t ever happen.
“I’d love to, man,” I say sincerely as I open the door before turning slightly to look at him. “But I already invited Sela to the party and I can’t just back out on her now. I know I need to slow things down, but I need to get through the holidays. We’ve made quite a few plans together.”
“I get it,” JT says amiably, and claps me on my shoulder. He squeezes once and releases. “But after that, Beck, you should probably cool it a bit with her. You don’t want to lose focus on the business, and besides…do you really want to be tied down?”
I know I should play along with him, but I can’t help a tiny burst of rage over his words. He doesn’t know Sela at all. Clearly doesn’t have my best interests at heart, because any sane person who saw their friend having the potential for happiness would be seeking instead to encourage it rather than destroy it.
“I said I’d slow it down,” I grit out while trying to keep a smile plastered to my face. “But I’m not giving her up. And I’m not averse to being tied down…not with the right woman.”