“Want a drink?” he asks as he lets my hand go and loosens his tie.

“No, I’m good,” I say as I look around, taking a few steps toward the balcony. Elegant furnishings, silk wallpaper, stylishly expensive furniture. So this is how the 1 percent live.

Nice.

Hands on my waist divert my attention and Beck steps into my backside. My heart rate immediately accelerates, half of my body going into a defensive posture and the other half opening wide up to the slight possibility of something thrilling with this man. Sex is complicated for me. My first experience was so horrific I tried to kill myself after.

Since then, I’ve had good and bad.

Some men do nothing more than thrust, grunt, and unload. That’s not so bad and it’s over with quickly.

Some men are mediocre. They make attempts to get me off but are never successful, and I’ve become adept at faking the world’s best orgasm, which strokes their ego nicely.

None have been fantastic. No one has ever made me go weak in the knees. Not one single man has ever inspired me to want to bring them to theirs.

Doesn’t mean I haven’t brought them to their knees, it just means that I’ve never found someone that I wanted to do that to.

No man has ever made me feel a connection to him past the act of sex. My psychiatrist once told me that was because I had no emotional connection when I was raped. In fact, it was so cold, brutal, and without regard for me as a human being that I have a hard time understanding and accepting intimacy. I just can’t reconcile that sex and kindness go together.

I’ve never in my life experienced an orgasm while having sex with a man. Had plenty with my vibrator, but a man has never gotten me off, and I don’t need my psychiatrist to explain the reasoning behind that either.

To me, sex is just an act. I could do without it, but I also don’t mind having it when it fits my agenda. In my past relationships, which have been few and far between, I had sex to make the other person feel good. More as a reward for treating me decently, and also maybe because while I may not have enjoyed it very much, it at least made me feel normal and not like a freak as I normally do.

Tonight, sex with Beck will further my agenda, so I’m all in.

Beck’s hand lifts, pulls my hair away from my neck. I feel his lips press there softly and a shiver runs up my spine. My heartbeat increases in tempo and a rush of adrenaline flushes throughout me with dizzying repercussion.

Oh wow…that’s new.

I suck in a deep breath and try to ground myself. His lips press harder against me, then I feel teeth against my skin. He scrapes them gently over me and a delicious ache forms between my legs.

That’s also new, and the feeling is so disconcerting that I pull away from his embrace so I can get myself under control. My body has never reacted that way, and frankly, it scares the shit out of me, almost to the point that I consider running.

I cannot afford to lose control with this man, a prospect that is almost as terrifying as my memories of my sixteenth birthday.

Keep your eyes on the prize, Sela.

It’s imperative that whatever happens tonight that I rock Beck North’s world to such an extent that he wants to see me again. I need to keep my foot in the door and that means tonight…I cannot hold anything back. It has to be my best performance ever.

Turning to face Beck, I tilt my lips upward in a seductive curve and step into him. My hands go to his chest, slip upward and under his suit coat, to his shoulders where I push it off. It falls to the ground and before it hits, my hands are working his belt buckle.

It’s a good thing too, because working the expensive, supple leather through the metal buckle helps to calm the shakiness of my hands. I pull the entire belt free and toss it away. My hands go immediately to the button of his dress slacks, but the minute I twist it free of the hole, Beck’s hands are on mine…stilling my progress.

I look up slowly and Beck’s eyes are sizzling with need. This gratifies me, because I know that I have what he wants and I have the power to hook him with it. I press against his hold and try to tug at his zipper, but he draws my hands away.

“Slow down a bit,” he says gruffly as I look back up at him. “We have all night.”

“All the more reason to let me give you a blow job right now,” I tell him with sly look, and reach my hands out again. “Take the edge off.”

“I like the edge,” he says in a low growl. “I like getting worked up. I like waiting until it’s even a bit painful. I also like being in charge, so those beautiful lips aren’t getting anywhere near my cock right now.”

Those words…

They both terrify and titillate me. And that ache between my legs starts to throb. I hate it because it’s distracting me.

Beck North is totally throwing me off my game and we haven’t even gotten naked yet.

Chapter 6

Beck

For a fleeting moment, I thought I saw fear on her face. It was so fast that I’m sure I imagined it. Almost like a strobe light…flashing bright and turning dark all within a microsecond.

It was when I told her that I needed to be in charge.

Sometimes fear is a good thing. It enhances the senses, ramps up the pleasure. But now I don’t see it and I wonder if I imagined it, but regardless…I am now and will always be in charge of this woman tonight.

I’m not surprised by her aggressive moves, because since the minute I laid eyes on her she’s done nothing but ooze self-confidence. And don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a woman who wants to suck my dick in a forward fashion.

Just not tonight.

Tonight I want to show her that she doesn’t have anything to show me that I haven’t already seen before. Countless women have dropped to their knees and begged to deep throat me, all with the hopes that I’ll never look at another piece of pussy again. I know Sela said she’s not looking at me that way, and that she’s actually talking to a Sugar Daddy, but I don’t know her, which means I don’t trust her. Trust doesn’t come easy to me, because the people closest to me in life have done nothing but lie. And let’s face it…trust isn’t going to be formed tonight. Thus, I need to impress upon her the truth of my position.

She has nothing that I need.

The best way to show her that is to refuse instant sexual gratification. While it would be fucking phenomenal to have her suck me off, I need her to understand and truly believe me when I say I don’t need it.