“Brian.”

My mouth finds his, and I wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls back at first, gasping, his breath warm against my lips. He dives back in. His chapped lips feel rough against mine. He pushes me up against the concrete bridge support. The stone scrapes my lower back. I deepen the kiss. His tongue explores inside my mouth. My knees go wobbly. My breathing quickens, and I’m clutching his shoulders and holding on tight so I don’t fall.

He yanks away from me.

“What’s wrong?” I whisper, panting.

“Nothing, nothing.” He touches his lips. “I had fun today. See you around?”

“You’re leaving?” I blurt.

“I need to change the oil in Mom’s car, and I have to pay some bills and work on some insurance paperwork.”

He stopped kissing me so he can go work on insurance?!

Was I not a good enough kisser? Is he not interested in me? “Insurance? Really?”

His face is all red, and he clutches the back of his neck. “I need to go before I do something we’ll regret.”

“I won’t regret anything!” I say, but he’s already moving away quickly. He leads Brandy back to his truck, leaving me here with nothing but dark rushing water.

This makes two Saturday nights in a row I haven’t gone out to find someone to kiss. I guess I really like Brian. I’m repainting my fingernails when I get a text from Corndog:

Look out ur window!

I peek outside and find him and Drew standing in the front yard, waving. I go let them inside, and Corndog says, “Let’s go to Jiffy Burger. I need a Monster burger.”

“You know, those things have, like, a thousand calories,” I reply, blowing on my wet nails. My pinky is smudged already.

“A thousand calories? Really?” Corndog smiles. “I could eat two of those burgers and meet my caloric intake needs for the day.”

“Exactly,” Drew responds, bumping Corndog’s fist.

“You in?” Corndog grins coyly at me.

“Okay,” I reply. Anything to take my mind off Brian and his kisses. And his insurance paperwork, for crying out loud.

As we drive the streets of Franklin, I watch for Brian’s truck. He’s not at Freddie’s Oyster Bar. He’s not at the Barnes and Noble. He’s not at the Porno Supermarket (thank the heavens!). He’s nowhere. I check my phone to see if he texted—maybe I didn’t hear the chime over Drew’s rap music.

I’m such a psycho. He’s twenty-three! We can’t have anything. Why would he risk his reputation, risk everything, by dating a student? Even if we wait until after I graduate, I’ll still be six years younger and in a totally different universe of meal plans and being sexiled out of my dorm room and not worrying about insurance. I haven’t even gone to college, and he’s probably worried about buying matching furniture and starting a 401K. He’s spending his Saturday night paying bills! Holy boring.

“Parker? Parker?” Corndog shakes my knee. I jerk my head. He’s been trying to get my attention from the front seat apparently.

“Sorry, I was thinking.”

“What about?” Corndog asks.

“What do you think about matching furniture?”

He grins. “It’s supposed to match?”

“Doesn’t your mom’s furniture match?”

He shrugs, then thinks for a long moment, drumming his fingers on his thighs. “I was thinking about what toppings I should get on my Monster burger.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m not getting tomatoes this time. They make the bread soggy. But I love tomatoes, so maybe I’ll ask them to put some on the side for me? And I like pickles, but I don’t like them mixed with mustard, so I’ll probably ask for those on the side too.”

I tsk tsk. “Picky, picky.”

“What are you getting on your Monster burger?”

“I can’t eat that. It has tons of calories and carbs.”

He flicks the back of my hand. “C’mon. You can afford to cut loose a little.”

“If I was going to get toppings, I’d get mayo and lettuce. I agree with you about the tomatoes. I think they take away from the taste of the burger. I like dipping my fries in mayo.”

“Me too!”

“Are y’all gonna ignore me the whole night?” Drew asks from behind the wheel.

“Uh, yeaaaah,” I reply. “Besides, you’re obviously all dressed to impress somebody.” I point at his skinny jeans. He’s been wearing them a lot lately.

“Hear, hear,” Corndog mutters.

“Shut up, man,” Drew replies. He fixes his hair with one hand.

At Jiffy Burger, aka Monk’s (per Corndog’s instructions, when we are inside JB we have to call it Monk’s like on Seinfeld. Boys are ridiculous.), the guys get in line while I stake out our usual booth by the fingerprint-covered window.

“What do you want to eat, Parker?” Corndog calls out.

“Nothing,” I reply, and he gives me a look. “Fine, I’ll take a Diet Coke.” He grins and holds my gaze for a few seconds. Then my phone buzzes.

Brian’s text reads: What are u doing?

Out at JB w/ guys.

Corndog?

Yeah, he’s here

….

Jealous?

….

He’s a friend

Good to know

Don’t go all stalker on me LOL :)

:) Can we talk?

Later—I’m out w/ friends

I slide my phone shut and put the ringer on silent. I’m still processing what happened this afternoon. I made out with a twenty-three-year-old guy! He kissed me and ran! He’s acting all jealous. All in one day! Normally, I’d just say to heck with him, but boy can he kiss. He makes my body crackle like a firework. We connect. And I like him. I really like him. My heart surges and I grin.

“What are you smiling at?”

I look up to find Tate standing there…with Aaron and Laura, fused at the hip. It’s not like I was into Aaron, but I hate that Laura’s here flaunting that she could get what I once had.

Seeing them together and being here with Corndog reminds me of the eighth grade homecoming dance. Laura and I went together. Corndog was pretty dorky back then—always pushing his glasses up on his nose, always hiking his jeans up because he was skinny. But I was a nice Christian girl, and when he asked me to be biology partners, I said okay. We’ll make a good grade together, I thought. At the dance, he was there hanging out with Drew, but Drew had plenty of girls to dance with, while Corndog stuck to sitting on a radiator on the side of the cafeteria. When Laura went to the bathroom, I leaned against the radiator and talked to Corndog about our science fair project. We wanted to know if different kinds of water affect the growth of plants, and so far my rainwater was making our dandelions grow faster than his Little Duck River water. We laughed about that, and he looked me in the eyes and asked me to dance.

“Sure,” I replied, and in the middle of the cafeteria, under dimmed lights, he set his trembling hands on my waist and I smiled up at him.

I remember JJ walking by, smacking his butt, and saying, “Corndog, you dog, you. Good for you, man.”

Corndog blushed, and smiled, and said to me, “Sorry about that.”

“No biggie.”

His hands kept shaking. “JJ said that ’cause you look really pretty tonight.”

“Thanks,” I said, grinning. The song ended, and Corndog wiped his palms on his jeans and rocked from foot to foot, and that’s when Laura stormed up and asked him to dance. He glanced at me, but said yes to her, and by the end of the dance, Laura had a major crush on Corndog. But he didn’t want to date her. Frankly, he seemed scared, shuffling away any time she came near.

Laura said it was my fault he didn’t like her, and that if I was a good friend, I’d hate him along with her. After that, I kept away from him, for Laura’s sake. I could never hate somebody, but we never partnered on projects again. We battled it out over grades. And now here we are tonight, together at Jiffy Burger.

“What are you guys doing here?” I ask, fidgeting in my seat.

“Eating Monster burgers, obviously,” Tate says with a grin. He holds up a brown sack.

“I don’t know who your friend is,” Drew says, sliding past Tate into the seat across from me. He pops a fry in his mouth and speaks as he chews. “But I like him. Any friend of the Monster burger is a friend of mine.”

Tate raises his eyebrows at Drew and smiles.

Corndog slips into the booth next to me and starts pulling burgers and cartons of fries out of the greasy paper sack. Holy calories. My stomach grumbles.

Aaron throws Corndog the same look Brother John wears anytime someone mentions Satan. “Is this guy why you never answered my calls?” Aaron turns his glare to me.

Laura grasps his elbow, looking horrified. Her eyes dart back and forth between Aaron and Corndog.

“This is my friend, Corndog,” I say to Aaron and Tate. I introduce everyone, and Corndog shifts in the seat next to mine, glancing from me to Aaron.

Drew asks, “Do y’all want to join us?”

Tate replies, “I’d love to, but we already bought tickets to see Fat Momma’s House 6…See you at church tomorrow?” He’s speaking to me, but his eyes shift back to Drew.

“See ya then,” I say with a wave, and they head for the exit. Laura slips an arm around Aaron’s waist, but he edges away. Tate points at them and then looks back at me and laughs, rolling his eyes. She’s never been very nice to Tate either. One time he attached a peace sign charm to his shoelace, and she went on and on about how the peace sign is a common devil worshipping sign. Hell, I bet the JB emblem is a devil worshipping sign. Thou shalt not eat Monster burgers!

I clear my throat. “I know those guys from church.”

After a long silence, Corndog unwraps a burger, then slides it in front of me. I stare down at the burger. Lift the bun. It has mayo and lettuce only. Just how I would’ve asked for it. Then he gives me a carton of fries with a little cup of mayo for dipping.

“Eat up,” he says.

“Thank you.” I kind of want to cry.

He grins. “Sure thing.”

I bite into my burger and wipe the juice from my lips. Chew. Right then, being here with these two guys, everything is perfect.

That’s when Drew decides to tell the truth.

open

37 days until i turn 18

Drew finishes swallowing a fry, takes a deep breath, then looks up at me. “Is your friend Tate dating anybody?”

I suck air in. “I don’t think so. He hasn’t mentioned anyone.”

“Why?” Corndog asks, crinkling his forehead.

Drew suddenly buries his eyes in the heels of his hands. I meet Corndog’s face as recognition sets in for him. Corndog grabs my fingers under the table and squeezes hard.

What do I say?!

I don’t want Drew to think I’m judging him. I don’t know why, but I know how to play this.

“Wait a minute. Tate’s gay?” I ask.

Drew pokes his face out from behind his hands. “I think.”

“I had no idea.” I eat a fry and talk as I chew. “How do you know?”