I can’t wait. We’re having a candlelit dinner on our private deck that overlooks the lake.

I call Mom. When she answers, I say, “Hey!”

“Wow. You already sound more mature. I feel like I haven't talked to you in years.”

“It’s only been a week, Mom.”

I hear Tommy talking in the background.

“Tommy says to tell you we all miss you. So how are things?” she asks in an odd, high voice.

“You seem really happy, Mom. Are you pregnant?”

She laughs. “No, I'm not. So you and Brook have been together in France for a while. So has he told you he loves you? Have you slept with him?”

“Mom.”

“Keatyn, I can tell by your voice the answer to both of those questions is yes.”

“Last night was the first time. How do you even know that?”

“Well you called me instead of texting me, so I know something’s going on. Plus, I can hear it in your voice.”

“Hmm. Weird.”

“Oh, honey, was it bad? Is that why you’re calling? That’s not unusual, you know. First times aren’t always that great.”

“I was drunk at a party my first time,” Kym says loudly from somewhere in the room. “It literally lasted six seconds. I counted. I mean most guys could ride a bull longer.”

I hear a whole bunch of people laughing.

“Ohmigawd, Mom, do you have me on speaker?”

She doesn’t reply. Instead, James says, “Well, my first time . . .”

“Stop! Please! My ears are bleeding! And it wasn’t my first time anyway. It’s all good.”

“What?!” Mom shrills. “What do you mean? Did you have sex with Sander and not tell me?”

Shit. Why can’t my brain ever edit my mouth?

“Take me off speaker, please.”

Tommy says, “Baby, it’s okay. You don’t need to be embarrassed. All of us have had sex.”

Kym laughs. “Some of us more recently than others.”

James starts coughing and laughing.

Kym says, “What? I’m in a slump. So, Miss Keatyn, did you and Sander do the deed or what?”

“No, we did not.”

I hear Mom suck in her breath. “Who then?!”

“It was Cush, okay.”

Kym whistles. “Good choice. That boy is a hottie.”

“Don’t say that,” Mom chimes in. “She dated him for like two days.”

“It was longer than that, Mom.”

“I’m still shocked. I thought we agreed you’d wait until you were in love.”

“Trust me, it wasn’t really my plan. Nothing like what I’d scripted. What can I say; my life hasn’t been following my scripts lately.” Well, that’s not exactly true. That night with Cush at the hotel was very much the way I had scripted it, but Mom doesn’t need to hear those details. She just wants to think I was in love. “He told me he loved me, doesn’t that count?”

“You were mad at Brook, weren’t you?” Tommy says.

“Well, yeah. It was after that party we came to.”

“Did you love him?”

“No, but I was tired of waiting for B. And when he ditched me and told me he was hanging with girls, I was just done. And it didn't suck. It was a little awkward, but it didn’t suck. And I'm kinda glad. It's not like B had been waiting for me.”

“Well, what matters now is that you're together. You sound happy,” Kym gushes.

“I am happy. He brought me to this beautiful vineyard outside Bordeaux, and we got this like private cabin thing, and it was perfect. Not the beach, but perfect.”

“Did he tell you he loved you last night, too?” Mom asks dreamily. I can tell she and Kym are getting all gooey over a love story.

“No, he told me a few days ago. I was dumb though. I cried.”

“Why did you cry?” Kym wants to know.

“I don't know. I accidentally said I love you. So I was embarrassed. But he was happy, and he told me too. So it was nice.”

“You’re being safe, right?” Mom asks.

“Yes, Mom, of course. We haven’t been in any big cities. I’m fluent in French, and I know how to not look like a tourist.”

Everyone bursts out laughing.

“What?”

Mom tries to stop giggling.

Finally Tommy says, “Safe. As in condom usage.”

“Oh, ick!”

“Ick?” Mom says. “Does that mean you’re not? Oh, honey, I know you think you’re in love, but you don't want a baby at your . . . ”

Oh, please make this conversation stop, or I may never be able to go home and face my family.

“Mom, and the rest of you, I’m going to say this once. We are being safe in all ways.”

“Good to hear, but when you get back, you need to go on the pill. Just to be extra cautious.”

“Fine.”

“So, wait,” Mom says. “Did you say you’re in Bordeaux? Keatyn Elizabeth, you can’t just go gallivanting all over Europe without telling me!”

“Yeah, well about that. It just sort of all fell together. Brooklyn and I decided to stay in Europe all summer. We have it all planned out. We’re going to visit some of the best surfing spots on France’s and Spain’s west coasts. Then we’re gonna hit the Canary Islands. Then, after that, Damian invited us to tour with him for a few weeks. I won’t be home until right before my party.”

“All summer? Don’t you think you should have asked me first?”

“Um, yeah, of course. But I figured you’d be fine with it. I know my way around, and like I said, we have it all planned out.”

“When did you decide this?”

“We just decided. We’re young, and how often are we going to get to take off a whole summer? Plus, honestly, I need some time away from my friends. Things have been crazy since Sander and I broke up.”

“Well, yes,” James says. “When you bring your boyfriend home drugged, it does seem so.”

I roll my eyes, but know they can’t see me, so I let out a big dramatic sigh to get my point across.

“So we’re going to surf a bunch of places, then in three weeks we’re gonna meet up with Damian and follow their tour. We’ll be in bigger cities, but we’ll be with Damian and everyone.”

I hear a bunch of quiet discussion, but can’t make out what they’re saying.

Finally, Tommy speaks. “We’re really not comfortable with that. You’re only sixteen.”

“I’ve traveled a ton. You know that. And I’ll email you all our travel plans if you want, and I’ll check in as often as you want. Please. Please.”

“Never beg, baby,” Tommy says. “You always want to at least pretend to have the upper hand when you’re negotiating.”

“How about if we send James to accompany you?” Mom says. “That would make me feel better.”

“Mom, you need James. What about the creeper? Aren’t you still scared about that? Have you heard from him since I’ve been gone? You’d tell me, wouldn’t you?”

“We did actually get another note from him. It said something again about me being a whore and how he is making plans. We don’t know what that means, but yes, I’d prefer to have James here with the girls. We’re keeping them pretty much under lock and key.”

“Mom! I have seen that guy from the picture before. I just realized it. The day I was at the mall and locked my keys in the car. While I was waiting for Nanny to bring me the spare set, I watched those protesters over by the beach. You know the ones that are protesting over the development being done. They have those horrible little fake graves with animal’s names on them. I think he was one of them. I remember thinking he should be more worried about his own white skin burning to a crisp in the sun.”

James says, “You’re right, he has been there. And around Malibu. The people who work at the yogurt shop recognized him too. We matched that photo to his driver’s license, and Garrett has had some people tail him off and on. So far, we haven’t been able to connect him to the letters though. And we’re still looking for other possible suspects. Garrett doesn’t want to focus only on him.”

“Mom! James!! Why didn’t you tell me all this?”

“We didn’t want to worry you, honey. We’ll tell you if you need to worry.”

“Okay, so what about this summer? About our plans?”

“I just don’t know, Keatyn,” Mom says.

“Mom, I don’t want to face my friends. And I might as well tell you now. I’ve been thinking about not going back to school. Like I might decide to be tutored again. Or do online classes or something.”

“Why wouldn’t you want to go back to school?”

“Just everything that’s happened. It’s not just what happened with Cush. It’s Vanessa and RiAnne. It’s just everything.”

“I don’t think you should run away from your problems. You need to be tough and work through them,” Tommy says.

Jeez, he sounds like Brooklyn.

Mom makes a hmmm sound, and I hear everyone whispering in the background. I hear something about the creeper and not having to worry about me. Mom finally says, “If it weren’t for what happened with Brandon, I’d probably make you come home. I miss you. But I think I might agree that putting a little distance between you and your friends isn’t a bad idea. So, if you promise to check in twice a day and email us an itinerary, and always answer your phone when I call you, I guess the answer is yes.”

“Yay! Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

“Keatyn, I’m serious. I’m giving you an awful lot of freedom. Do not disappoint me.”

“I won’t. I promise. Tell the girls I love them, and I’ll Skype them soon!”

“Be safe!” everyone says.

“Love you too,” Mom says. She’s quiet for a couple seconds. “I still can’t believe you slept with Brandon and didn’t tell me!”

“Goodbye, Mom.”

Wednesday, July 27th

My horrific ends.

2pm

We got back yesterday from our tour of some of Europe’s greatest surfing spots. We really had a great time. We surfed some killer waves, many of which were way too advanced for me, but Brooklyn had no problems with them. He just seems to keep getting better and better. On the water he is in his element. It’s like he belongs on a wave, and it’s really where he seems happiest.

And I’m happy too. We’ve relaxed and chilled.

There’s nothing like surfing and lying on the beach for a month to help you forget about reality.

But now that we’re back at the house here in France, I’m really pretty excited to get back to the real world.

At least to dress up again. To do my hair all up.

For the beach, I packed very light. Bikinis, sweatshirts, and a few sundresses that I could roll into a ball and fit in a backpack. We stayed at a couple nice resorts, but overall, it was very casual. And I literally lived out of a large backpack.

For a month!

Which I need to check into, because that just might be some sort of fashion record.

For hanging with Damian on tour, we’ll be in bigger cities, which means I need good clothes, fun clothes.

So as soon as we got back to the house, I excitedly hit the swag closet.

Brooklyn finds me surrounded by clothes.

“What are you doing?”

“Finding some cute outfits to pack. I wasn’t planning on being here all summer. I didn’t really bring very many clothes.”

He eyes the three pieces of luggage I have sitting on stands, and he cringes.

“Do you have to take the Vuitton luggage?”

“Yes. When you travel with good luggage, people treat you nicer. You should always dress nice when you travel. It says something about you.”

“Like I waste my money on conspicuous consumption because it makes me feel better about myself?”

I joke around and flip him off, but his comment irritates me a bit.

“You did fine for the last month with just a backpack.”

“Yeah, but we were casual at the beach. Now we’ll be in cities; it’s different. And what about you? You know that we’ll go to some nice dinners. Don’t you think you should take some other clothes?”

“If I need stuff, I’ll buy it there.”

“So you want to spend money on clothes when I could give you some for free?” I come back with.

He just shakes his head at me.

Later while we’re riding to the airport, he says, “What are you doing?”

“What?” I say.

“You’ve been sitting there for the last twenty minutes doing nothing but looking at your hair.”

“I’m not looking at my hair, B. I’m looking at the ends of my hair. I think I found a few split ends.” I lean my head closer to him. Show him my horrific ends. “See?”

“I see hair.”

“You have to look at each strand. See how a few of the ends are broken-looking? It’s not healthy. I need a haircut. I can’t be seen on Damian’s tour with split ends.”

“You know, you worry a lot about how you look.”

“Well, of course I do. I always want to look nice. This summer, I’ve been totally slacking in that department.”

“You’re pretty without makeup. Without your hair all done. You’ve looked fine all summer.”

“Well, thank you. But I like the way I look when I wear makeup. When my hair is done. What’s wrong with wanting to look your best?”