“You see, something wonderful and unexpected happened. I met someone. I really care for her and I think she cares for me too. I think she may be the one, but I don’t know how to let all this guilt in my heart go. When I’m with her, I don’t think about you as much. I know this sounds awful, but it’s true. She’s the only one who has given me hope. She makes me want to live again. She is my light at the end of the dark tunnel.

“So, what do you think?” I chuckled lightly, and felt a sense of peace. “I promise I’ll never forget you. It’s impossible.” My lips quivered, feeling the ache slicing deeper. “You were my first and you would’ve been my last, but sometimes fate has other plans, and no matter how hard we try to understand the reason behind it, we just can’t. We have to accept it, move on, and do what we can to survive. So that is what I’m trying to do. I know you understand this, because I would want the same for you.”

Wiping the tears that I promised to shed for the last time, I placed a dozen red roses against the stone. “Happy Birthday, Tessa. I’ll always love you. You’ll always be in my heart, but it’s time for me to move on.” My hands trembled, as the guilt came rushing back in again, knowing someone else might possibly replace her; replace her touch, her smile, her laughter, and her love. “I’m not sure when I’ll be back, but I promise I’ll visit again.” Feeling my stomach tangle into knots and my muscles tightening, I knew then I needed to leave. Shit! How many times must I go through this? How many times do I tell myself I needed to stop coming here if I was going to move on?

With one last glance back, I walked away knowing exactly what I needed to do.

MY EXCUSES FOR LEAVING town were not valid. Jenna needed me, but I knew she would be fine. Me, on the other hand, well, I didn’t know if I would ever be fine. I had to get away from Matthew. Perhaps the distance would help me clear my head and my heart.

I told Jenna I was going to a book convention, but I really wasn’t. I didn’t completely lie though. There was a book convention, but I had decided to skip it. I hadn’t lied about seeing my parents either, exactly. They were vacationing in Hawaii. They asked me if I wanted to join them, and though the offer was appealing, I wanted solitude instead, so I told them I would doggie sit. They were beyond happy about that.

Kicking back on the lounge chair by the pool, I picked up the e-reader Matthew bought me for Christmas. Shit! I wanted to be Matthew-free, but everything he touched or we’d shared, reminded me of him. Not just the e-reader, but the sight of chopsticks, my robe, ice cream, cotton candy, Starbucks, eggs, my panties, my bookshelf, dogs, Victoria’s Secret…hell, even my damn computer. Argh! I was trying to run away from him, but his memories followed me everywhere.

Hearing the buzz from my phone, I saw it was Matthew. He kept calling and texting me, but I hadn’t responded. The last text I sent him was just before I left. I let him know I was really busy, thinking he would stop bugging me. Obviously, his latest call was an indication he didn’t care.

Allowing Matthew’s call to go straight to voicemail, I got up, stripped down naked, and jumped into the heated pool. Not only did I want to swim, I needed a distraction and this was it. Being that my parents’ home was in the middle of nowhere, no one could see that I was skinny dipping.

THE NEWS OF THE lawsuit dismissal spread fast. Max wanted to celebrate the good news by catering lunch for everyone. Jenna and I were the last ones to head to the break room. This was the perfect opportunity for me to casually ask her a few questions. Swinging my chair from my desk, I turned to her. “Hey, Jenna. How’s Becca?”

After doing something on the computer, she turned to look at me in surprise. “Becca? Oh she’s great.”

“She must be really busy.”

“That’s what she said.”

I don’t know why, but Jenna looked nervous. Was she hiding something from me?

“So, where is she?”

Jenna looked dumbfounded. She wasn’t good at lying and I laughed inwardly at the sight of her face flushing.

“Huh? What do you mean where is she?” She swallowed, trying to play cool. She started heading for the door. Sneaky! I knew she was trying to avoid me, but I was faster. Blocking her exit, I stood in front of her. If anyone saw, it would look like I was trying to hit on her. This would probably start another ridiculous rumor.

“Jenna, I know you’re hiding something from me.” My tone was gentle, yet stern.

She gave me that innocent face, blinking her eyes and flashing her adorable smile. “I have no idea what you mean.” She tried to squirm around me.

“While you were at Max’s place, I went to yours. I knocked, no I pounded on the door this morning. I even called and texted her.” I leaned into Jenna’s personal space and gave her my most serious look. “Now…where…is…she? She’s been avoiding me and I have no clue what I did. I need to talk to her.”

Jenna’s eye grew wide and her lips parted with the brightest smile. It was the second biggest smile I had seen, apart from when her eyes were on Max. “I knew it,” she exclaimed with twinkle in her eyes.

“What do you know?” I chuckled.

“Don’t tell her I told you.” She waited for me to agree. “She’s in San Francisco.”

“San Francisco!” I said a bit too loud, losing my composure. “What the f**k? What is she doing there?” I was extremely concerned.