Sitting at the table, I sipped my beer as I waited for Becca. Looking up to the sound of heels clicking softly, I knew it was her. At first, I stared at the amazing vision. With her hair tied behind her and wearing light makeup, she wore tight jeans, a loose black sweater and killer black boots. She looked good enough to eat coming toward me with that smile, cute as a button, but sexy as hell. She was like an angel and a devil sent to undo me.

My libido told me to take her to the nearest restroom, strip her naked, and have my way with her. Taking a deep breath and controlling my urge, I repeatedly told myself that she was just a friend. I needed to behave. Friend…my friend…Jenna’s best friend.

“Hey,” I greeted. Standing up, I embraced her as if she were a delicate flower. Taking a whiff of her perfume, I became dizzy as I fell under her spell. Pulling out the chair for her, I went back to mine.

“Thanks for asking me out to dinner. I would’ve been stuck at home all day. Sometimes I forget to take a break. I have so much to read. But at least I can say I love my job and not many people can say that.”

“I would stay home all day and read about potential book girlfriends if I was an agent myself,” I winked, trying not to offend her. “Better yet, I think you and I would get naked, read a book and act out the parts,” I croaked a laugh.

She gave me a wicked scowl with one eye narrowed at me. Clearly, I wasn’t doing a good job trying to be just a friend. I quickly changed the subject. “You must be starving.” Gliding the menu across the table to her I asked, “What would you like to eat?”

“Want to do family style? My friends and I always do that when we eat Chinese food.”

“Sure. You pick one and I’ll pick three.”

“Hey,” Becca laughed, enjoying the humor.

“Just checking to make sure you’re listening because I think the menu is getting more attention than me.”

“You’re so full of it,” Becca snorted.

“Watch out firecracker, I can give you more than you’re asking for.”

“I bet you can.”

Her sexy, flirty tone caught me off guard.

After waving the waitress over, we placed our order.

“Do you get to see your family often?” I asked, taking a sip from my water glass.

“No. Only like four or maybe six times a year. I always try to stop by to see them during book conventions and holidays. This year was unusual. I didn’t go to them during Christmas because I had just been there a couple of weeks before.

“I see. Well, I’m glad you stayed.”

Becca’s brow lifted. What did I say to make her look a little upset? Was it too much for her to hear that I had a good time with her?

After a while, our food came. Using the serving spoon, I placed some on her plate first, and then mine, as I asked her another question. “Have you lived in San Francisco all of your life?”

“Thanks,” she said, watching me spoon the rest of the food on her plate. “Yes. I lived there growing up, except when I came here for college. How about you?”

“Yes, I’ve lived here pretty much all my life except when I traveled alone around Europe.”

“I see.” She nodded, understanding my reasons. Taking nibbles of food, I watched Becca struggle with her chopsticks like before. It was the cutest thing. Wanting to help her, I got out of my seat and sat on the chair next to hers. When I draped my arms around her, her body stiffened. She was nervous. I loved how I made her nervous.

“It’s like this.” I explained as my fingers rubbed against hers. She felt so soft and she smelled so sweet. Her presence was intoxicating. Uncontrollably, I felt my face dig deeper into her hair. As her hair parted, I wanted only to indulge myself by nuzzling into the side of her exposed neck. Oh God, help me now before I do it.

“I think I got it now,” Becca chuckled, breaking me out of her spell. Then she turned and froze. My lips were a breath away from hers. Remembering how she tasted the night we had sex, I was so tempted to succumb to my desire, but I had to refrain myself. I don’t know how much time had passed, but neither of us spoke as we stared at each other.

Becca’s eyes shifted to my lips and that’s when I almost lost it. I wanted to clear the table with one swipe of my arm, taking her right then and there. I didn’t care who was watching. The thought made me feel guilty. For the first time, it wasn’t just about sex. I was starting to care for Becca in ways I never thought I could again. Tessa’s face appearing in my mind was a sign I wasn’t ready to let her go just yet.

“Would you like some more water?” the waitress asked.

Her interruption felt like she had dumped ice water over my head. It would have been a good idea to help me cool down from this heated feeling.

“Uh…we’re fine,” Becca said, glancing from her glass to mine, noting how filled they were.

Sliding back, I let go of the hold I had on Becca and took some deep breaths. This was harder than I thought it would be. Being just friends was just too difficult. I didn’t know how much longer I could handle it, and I didn’t know how to let Tessa go either.

30

IT HAD BEEN SEVERAL days since Max and I last spoke. They were the longest days of my life. I knew the reason for me was my stubbornness, but what was his reason? I did tell him I needed some time to think, but I really didn’t mean it.

Having a relationship was fairly new to me. I’d dated a handful of guys, but it was difficult for me to open up ever since what happened with my ex. Mostly because I had thought he was the one. He told me he loved me. How can you tell someone you love them and then break their heart into pieces? It destroyed my self-esteem and trust in relationships. Even though part of me believed Max, there was also a part of me that couldn’t.