Jenna,

I’ve made a huge mistake.

Please give me another chance.

Think about it.

Miss you,

Luke

“What’s wrong Jenna,” Becky asked quickly. She must have seen the disturbed look on my face when I crumbled up the note.

Matching her eyes, I sat on the cushion and mumbled unhappily, “They’re from Luke.”

Becky had the most disgusted expression on her face. “Now he sends you flowers? He should’ve treated you better when you were together. Just tell him to get lost! You’re not thinking of giving him another chance, are you?”

“No, of course not,” I shook my head. “I would be crazy if I did. Max is wonderful. He is everything I could ever ask for. Luke has been texting me almost on a daily basis. I told him that I was seeing Max, but that doesn’t stop him. I ignore his texts, but I don’t know what else to do.”

“It’s a good thing Max isn’t here right now. He would totally flip out.”

“True,” I agreed, then took a sip of my tea, which was helping to warm me up. “I don’t want to throw them away. It would be such a waste, but I don’t want Max to see them.”

“Then keep the flowers and throw away the card. If he asks, tell him they’re for me.”

“Are you sure?”

“What are friends for,” she winked.

Speaking of being friends, I needed to change the subject. It had been about me since Max entered my life. I needed to be there for her now. “Becky,” I called softly, getting her attention once more. “What’s wrong? You hardly said a word in the car.”

“Nothing.”

“I can read you like a book…well, almost.”

“Really, it’s nothing.” she said it as if she meant it, but I knew better; and I was not going to give up. “I just have a lot on my mind,” she continued. “I go through this guilt trip when I turn down a potential author. I feel like I’m taking away their dream.” She brought her mug to her lips and blew away some steam.

“I’m sure they’ll get picked up by another agent.” I had no doubt this was not the reason for her foul mood, but I just played along. “You can’t say yes to all of them. It’s like interviewing for a job. One person gets the spot.”

“Yeah, I know,” she sighed, shrugging. Taking a sip, she seemed to relax as the warm tea went down her throat.

“So I’ve been meaning to ask you about Ryan.”

“Who?”

“You know, the guy you were so excited to see over Thanksgiving? Did you two hit it off?” I plopped my feet up on the seat and pulled my knees closer to me as I shivered. It was freezing out today and we had just turned on the heater as we walked in.

“Oh, him. He asked me out, but there was nothing there.” Her finger slid around the rim of her mug while her eyes followed. “There was no spark, no chemistry…nothing. Shoot, my book boyfriends were even hotter than him,” she giggled, evidently thinking of something or someone else.

Suddenly, she looked lost in thought. “Are you okay?”

Becky didn’t answer my question, but instead she asked, “Do you know why I needed a roommate?”

“No, I didn’t care about the reason. I was desperate. You and I had just met and I really needed a place to stay. I couldn’t stay at my apartment after what had happened with my roommate and my ex.”

“I needed one because my roommate got into a car accident. She died in the hospital.”

I felt the blood drain out of me and I was sure my face was as white as the wall behind me. It wasn’t too long ago that I was in the hospital. Becky must have gone through such a rough time, especially since it must have reminded her of the tragic loss. Maybe that was the reason Becky’s mood had been so unsteady lately. It started the day after I came home from the hospital. “I’m so sorry, Becky.” I ran to her and held her tightly.

“There’s more.” Her head stuck up from the empty space around my arm. Releasing her, I pulled out the chair next to her and listened intently. “She died because of me. I let her drive drunk. It was my fault.” Tears started to flow down her cheeks. “I was pretty wasted myself, but I was alert enough not to get in the car with her. I tried everything to get her out of the car, but she wouldn’t listen and I couldn’t think straight. I realized too late that I should have taken her car keys.”

“Becky, it’s not your fault. You can’t blame this on yourself. That is too much of a burden.”

She wiped her tears, brought her knees up to her chest and started to rock slowly.

I know…but I know you wouldn’t have let me drive,” she said with conviction, looking right at me.

“Of course I wouldn’t now, but who is to say what I would have done back then? We’re more mature now and we know better. There are things that we’ll always regret. Hopefully not too many; but in the end, it all comes down to the decisions we make as individuals. You tried to stop your friend, but it was her choice to drive drunk. Just like, you didn’t force me to give Max a chance, but I did. You were certainly an influence, but you didn’t make me. We learn from the past to make the future better, okay?”

Becky nodded, but I wasn’t sure she was sincere, or if she believed it. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think I would make an awful friend or roommate.”