I think he yelled. I wasn’t sure since my body cringed as Max confirmed who she was. All I heard was the voice I no longer cared for. The voice that used to be soothing and calming was sickening me, burning inside me with hatred.

“Jenna?” He sounded shocked.

Blood rushed to my face and my pulse raced beyond control as I panicked. Looking straight ahead, I refused to look at him. I didn’t want him to know I had given him my heart by being there and deciding to use the key.

“Jenna…Jenna,” he called again.

I wanted to look at my Max, the Max that I had fallen in love with, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see the Max I hated, the Max that had hurt me to the point of no return. We were broken, unfixable. Not only did I not have him, I had lost the job that I loved too. Tomorrow would be my last day. I would give some reasonable excuse and quit. How could he do this to me…to us? Feeling nauseous again, I wanted to throw up.

I heard fast footsteps—or were they running steps?—and my name being called multiple times with desperation, pleading. As I stepped inside the elevator, I dropped the key, but I didn’t care. I would never need it anymore. Then I heard a loud thump sound on the elevator door from Max apparently hitting it just as it closed. What was he angry for?

Stepping outside, the harsh wind lifted my hair and coat. I should have felt the freezing air, but I felt nothing, nor did I feel the pounding rain that was soaking me, drenching me as if I was taking a shower with my clothes on. Somehow I managed to take out my key and get in my car. As I pushed the gas pedal, I saw Max run out of the building, barefooted and topless, from the corner of my eyes.

What was the point of running after me? How stupid was he? No, how stupid was I? As I sped faster, trying to get home as soon as possible, the blonde kept invading my mind. All that I saw was his lips on hers, his body and his hands all over her. Things he did to me, he must have done to her. Then everything I’d felt with Max—his touch, his kisses, us making love—felt disgusting. All I wanted to do was go home and wash him away, out of my body, out of my mind, out of my heart.

The phone and the sound of my text kept ringing. Knowing it was Max, I didn’t bother to check. After the lightning blinded my eyes, the thunder roared in anger, and the rain poured harder. I wanted them to strike me, to take me away from this unbearable pain. It should have struck me awhile back, to knock some sense into me. Turning on the fastest speed mode of the windshield wiper wasn’t fast enough. I wasn’t thinking…no, I was thinking, but only of Max and what he had done.

As my trembling hand dialed Becky’s number, it hit me hard. Suddenly, the hurt crushed against my chest, squeezing my heart in agony. Max had cheated on me. The words came easily to my mind now that I was out of his place. Having the initial shock wear off put me back into reality, and tears suddenly started to fall, harder by the second, blinding my view.

Sobbing relentlessly, I heaved and gasped for air. I tried to wipe the tears that had drenched my face, but it didn’t help as more gushed out, burning my eyes. There was so much pain! It hurt so much that I wanted to rip out my own heart. It was the strangest feeling. I could feel it pumping with misery that was making my muscles weak. My coordination and self-control were diminished, as grief had sickened them. My whole body shuddered and my mind and body were not in sync. Every inch of my body hurt like hell.

The pain was so excruciating, it felt as though a knife were peeling my heart away layer by layer, until now, there was nothing there. A hole occupied the space where my heart should be, and although I should have felt numb, I felt absolute, agonizing pain beyond words.

“Jenna?” I head from the speaker on my cell phone. Not knowing where my blue tooth was, I didn’t even bother to look for it.

“Hello, Jenna? Can you hear me?”

“Becky…Max.” My lips quivered so much that I could barely get the words out. “He….” Heaving, I was out of breath, and endless tears streamed down my face, strangling my words. Oh God! He lied to me. All those smooth, sweet words he whispered were lies. He was supposed to be my something great. How could he do this? Why? It was my fault. I let him in. I was the fool.

“Jenna, are you okay?” Her tone was concerned and desperate. “Are you crying?”

“Becky…Max…Max….” I couldn’t even say the word “cheated.” All I could do was continue to gasp for air and choke when I tried to speak, as uncontrollable tears would not stop. “She…blonde…Crystal…Max.”

“Jenna, calm down. Are you driving?”

“Yes,” I managed to say between loud gasps. My tears were pouring just as hard and fast as the rain, and I couldn’t think, and I couldn’t see.

“Stop the car! I’ll come and get you. You shouldn’t be driving in your condition. Tell me where you are.”

I only heard half of what Becky said. I was almost home…I thought…though the road didn’t look familiar. As I tried to focus and wipe the tears that were never ending, my phone flashed and beeped. It was from Max, and that made the ache and the tears worse. Even seeing his name affected me. I blinked and turned away for only a split second, but that second was crucial.

“Jenna…are you there?” I heard Becky…sort of.

It happened so fast there was no time to react. Breaking as hard as I could upon seeing the red light, my car hydroplaned to the right. The oncoming car, which had the right of way, had nowhere to go as I came toward it, and our cars collided. On impact, I felt the air bag explode in my face, jerking my body back in full force. Feeling the car tumble multiple times, I was sure death would find me as I fell into darkness. At least now I will find peace.