“It’s time to clean her up.” The nurse took her from us.

Like a child, I wanted to pout and give a million reasons why I needed a minute longer, but I gave in. I had no choice.

“What’s her name?” Dr. Frances asked.

“Addison Marie Knight,” Becca said proudly. “She’s named after Matthew’s grandmother.”

“That’s a beautiful name.”

“Seven pounds, twenty inches,” the nurse said.

“Perfect.” My lips locked on Becca’s, then we both shifted our gaze to Addison.

While the doctors stitched Becca back up, I held both of her hands. Thank you for second chances, I prayed. Thank you for keeping both of them safe.

My mind drifted back to Tessa and our unborn child. I wondered if Tessa and I would’ve had a baby girl. Whatever the reason why they were taken away, it only led me to believe that they weren’t meant for me. It was funny how things turned out in life. Things happened for a reason in their own time and place, and helped people to learn and grow. Though I would always love Tessa and our unborn baby, and would keep them close to my heart, I was looking at my future now, my purpose, my reason for living, and I couldn’t have been happier.

Chapter 36

Jenna

A sensation of pain coursed through me. It was light at first, but it got stronger. I felt my body shudder from trying to contain the ache, but it didn’t work. The pain expanded and deepened and it made my muscles weak. It felt hot, cold, then hot again, alternating as sweat dampened across my forehead.

I moaned a painful sound, alerting Max to look at me. He didn’t say a word. He was waiting for me to speak. “I’m okay. I feel cramping.” Rubbing my stomach, I turn to the side. When that was uncomfortable, I shifted upward.

“Are you in pain?” Max asked, looking down where the needle was stuck in me. Two types of liquid were flowing through me, IV and Pitocin. Being that I was a week late, the doctor had suggested that we induce labor. Though Max and I didn’t like the idea, the fact that being so late could cause stress to the baby made us decide to do it.

“Let me check your dilation,” Dr. Howard said, walking in with a nurse.

Max smiled and turned away. He still had a difficult time with another man seeing me naked.

“Looks like only two centimeters. We’re making progress. The baby’s head is in good position, too.” Dr. Howard pulled my gown down. “Hang it there and let us know if there is any discomfort or if you have any questions.”

Before I could ask him a question, the monitor started beeping. Was something wrong with me? I turned to the sound, then to Max. He moved to the side for the nurse to come around. At that point, my heart was pumping on overload and all I could do was wait. The sound died as quickly as it had come.

Dr. Howard’s shoulders relaxed. “The sound you were hearing was a warning that the baby was not getting enough oxygen.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. Clearly the doctor’s words were simple and understandable. I just needed a moment to take it in. Max grabbed my hand when the nurse gave him a space to move in.

“It could be many factors, but one of the common ones are too much straining on the baby’s heart during induced labor, or the cord being wrapped around the baby’s neck, cutting off the oxygen.”

“What can we do about it?” Max inquired. My poor Max, he looked so worried, like he was the one having a baby.

“Right now, nothing. All we can do is wait. If it happens again, we’ll have to prep Jenna for the possibility of a C-section. We’ll give her an epidural. An epidural is a shot that is used to numb the pain from the waist down, which I know you are aware of. The nurse will be right outside. I have to check on another patient, but I’ll be back. Don’t worry. I have a pager. They can contact me any time.”

“Thank you,” Max said, watching the staff walk away.

Another wave of pain hit me. I took in deep breaths and exhaled slowly, just like they’d showed us at the Lamaze class. Max, feeling the squeeze of my hand, knew I was having another round of cramping pains. Like a good trooper, he breathed with me.

It wasn’t that long, but being in pain, time seemed to drag. “How are you doing?” the nurse asked. She lifted my gown. “I’m going to check your dilation. Can you lift your legs for me?” I did as instructed. “Hmmm...still only two.”

“Only two?” I let out a huff. With all of the pain I had been enduring, I’d thought I would have least expanded a bit more.

“Don’t be discouraged. It takes time, but two is better than none.”

It was easy for her to say it. She wasn’t the one in labor. “Ahhh,” I cried softly, holding my stomach. I wanted to scream, but I contained myself by biting my bottom lip. Women had said being in a labor was like having really bad menstrual cramps. My cramps were never that bad so I had no idea what I was in for. And no one could truly understand what it was like to be in labor unless they’d experience it.

Max dragged his hair back and took a forceful step toward the nurse. “Isn’t there something you can do for her pain?”

“She’ll have to hold on. It’s too soon for an epidural.”

“Okay. That’s right.” Max nodded, looking disappointed. He had forgotten what we learned in Lamaze class. I couldn’t blame him. In fact, I was surprise at myself that I remembered to breathe.

The nurse started checking my vital signs when suddenly the beeping noise that I’d heard before rang in the room. This time, knowing the reason for the sound, I panicked. “The baby,” I whimpered.