"No one should have died, Bethy. And Jace made sure it wasn't you. It wasn't the water who took the wrong person. Jace made that decision." I wanted to cover my ears like a child and scream at him to go away. I didn't want him here. Why was he still here? He knew it was my fault. He knew this was all my fault, yet he didn't look at me with hate in his eyes the way Woods did.

"Go away," I said without looking back at him.

"I'm not leaving again."

Those were not words I wanted to hear right now. Maybe five years ago I would have loved to have heard Tripp Newark tell me he was staying in Rosemary, but not now. Any and all feelings I had for Tripp had died the day I walked out of the abortion clinic Aunt Darla had taken me to, with an ache in my chest where my heart used to be.

"You can do what you want. Just stay away from me," I snapped, finally turning my angry glare on him. He was still just as beautiful as he had been when I was sixteen and stupid. He had said pretty words and I had believed him.

"I will for now. But I've been running for five years, Bethy."

It wasn't my fault he had been running. He had left me without an explanation or apology. He hadn't answered my phone calls. Nothing. Not even the message I'd left him after I had killed our baby. I had been devastated. He hadn't even called me back then.

"I loved him!" I yelled, and pointed my finger at Tripp. "I loved Jace! It was real! Damn you! It was real. Don't come to me and tell me you're coming back. Don't tell me you're tired of running. I don't give a motherfucking shit! I loved him." My angry screams had turned to sobs, but I didn't care. He'd asked for this. He should have stayed away from me.

"I loved him," I said one more time before turning to walk away.

"I loved him, too. He was like my brother. He was everything I wasn't. He was good. He was honest. He was strong. He deserved you."

I stopped and let the pain slice through me. He's gone. How could he be gone?

"I'm sorry, Bethy. I'm sorry that I just left you that summer. I was young and stupid. My parents wanted things for me I didn't want and I was scared of becoming my dad. So I ran like hell. I wanted to tell you. Dammit, I wanted to take you with me, but you were sixteen years old. You were an even bigger kid than I was. What was an eighteen-year-old trust fund brat going to do taking care of a sixteen-year-old?"

It was the past. Nothing he said made up for what he'd done. It was over. I had let it go and buried it and moved on.

"I was in love with you, Bethy. You were the first girl I ever loved. You've been the only girl I've ever loved. I never wanted to hurt you. When Jace was smart enough to fall in love with you I knew you'd be okay. He would give you everything you deserved."

"Shut up!" I snapped, spinning around and glaring at him "Just shut up! He didn't know! He loved me and he trusted me and he didn't know. I never told him. I wasn't worthy of him. I was never worthy of him. I was a liar. I'm tainted. I'm dirty."

Tripp took a step toward me. "No, you're not. Just because you trusted me with your love and then gave me your virginity . . . Bethy, that doesn't make you tainted or dirty. What we had wasn't wrong. It was real. I was too young to deal with it but it was very f**king real. It never left me."

Giving him my virginity was stupid. I had been a good girl then. Sex had equaled love to me. But Tripp had changed all that. He had turned me into something that Jace saved me from. The girl Tripp had destroyed, Jace had salvaged and cherished.

"No. Loving you was stupid, not wrong. Trusting you with my virginity was a mistake, not dirty. But killing the baby that we created because you didn't care enough to return my calls . . . that's what made me unworthy of someone like Jace."

I turned and walked away. This time he didn't try to stop me.

Della

I sat in the window of Woods's office and watched him read over some new contracts he needed to sign with a distributor that I had found for the clothing line in the clubhouse. What we had was for an older crowd. The members of the Kerrington Club weren't all fifty and above.

He hadn't wanted me out of his sight for longer than a few minutes. It had been two weeks since the funeral and he was still clingy. It was easing up each day, but he still needed me close by. We were also having sex more often than normal, and that was a whole lot of sex.

Blaire had called and invited me over for lunch today at one. That was Nate's nap time, so she was hoping we could meet at her house. Bethy was also invited. She wasn't working or showing up anywhere anymore. Blaire was worried about her and I was, too. Woods still wouldn't talk about her.

"Blaire has invited me to lunch today at her house at one. Are you okay with me going?" Normally I wouldn't have felt like I had to ask Woods's permission to eat lunch, but with his need for me to be close to him at all times, I wanted to check and make sure.

He looked up from his contract and frowned. I could see the sadness in his eyes and I almost wished I hadn't asked him and had just told Blaire no.

"I'm sorry, Della."

I stood up. "For what?"

"For making you think you have to ask me to go somewhere. These past couple of weeks I've been needy, and I'm sorry I've done that to you."

I pulled his chair back and straddled his lap, then grabbed both of his shoulders. "Do not apologize to me. Not for that. You needed me and I was able to be what you needed. I was the strong one this time. Not you. Me. I got to be the one to hold your hand. It was my turn to show you how much I love you. So, don't apologize for that."