I walked to the kitchen to get a drink of water.

Braden was standing at the counter with a glass of milk, staring straight ahead in deep thought, when I walked into the room. Her eyes shifted to me. "Della? Are you okay? I didn't hear you."

I stood there as it really sank in. I had dreamed of her. Yet I hadn't had a night terror. "I dreamed about her. About my life then. And . . . and . . . I just woke up. No blood. I never saw the blood. I just woke up."

Braden stared at me as she processed what I had told her. Then she set her milk down on the bar and ran over to me. Her arms wrapped around me. "You're getting better. Already, you're getting better," she said in a teary voice.

I wanted to cry, too. I wanted to cry because I realized I might just have a chance at happiness. What if I was strong after all? What if, underneath all that fear, I had buried someone deep inside who was brave and could take on life without someone to lean on?

"I think I'm going to be okay," I said out loud, because I needed to hear myself say it.

Braden squeezed me tighter. "I know you're going to be okay. I know it."

We stood there holding each other in the kitchen for several moments before I pulled back. "I'm not going to go crazy. I won't snap one day and become her."

Braden wiped at the tears streaming down her face. "I know. I've always known that."

"But I didn't. I had seen her. I knew what she could be. I didn't want to be that too."

"She was the woman who raised you but she wasn't your mother."

I nodded. I knew that now. I was going to be okay. "I want to meet my . . . I want to meet my birth father. I need to see him. I need to see his family, too."

Braden nodded. "Good. I think you should."

I stepped back and turned to go back to the bedroom.

"Della," Braden said.

I glanced back at her. "Yes?"

"Call him. He needs to hear from you."

She wasn't talking about my birth father. She was talking about Woods. I would have given anything to hear his voice. But I couldn't. He had moved on. He hadn't looked for me or tried to contact me. I had let him go and he'd walked away. I couldn't bother him now. "I can't."

"He misses you," she said.

"You don't know that. You assume it because you think what we had was a forever thing. But Woods has plans and I'm not in them. I gave him what he wanted. I'm not going to bother him again."

Braden let out a frustrated growl. "Della, a call from you wouldn't be a bother to him."

She loved me and didn't understand what I was trying to tell her. I knew better. "No, Braden. I'm letting him live. I'll find my way soon. First, I have to figure out my past."

She didn't say more as I walked back to the bedroom. I closed the door and waited a minute to make sure she wasn't following me before I let the tears fall. I didn't want her to see me cry. She would call him. She would try to fix this. There was nothing there to fix, but she didn't see it that way.

But now I knew I was going to heal. I was going to be okay. I had a future. I had to face what I'd lost. Losing Woods was my biggest mistake. I shouldn't have left him. I should have been stronger then and fought harder. But I hadn't. I would deal with that the rest of my life.

Woods

The ringing was in the distance. I heard it but I couldn't find it. Everything was dark. My eyes snapped open and the ringing started again. Shit! It was my phone. I sat up and grabbed it. It was after three in the morning and Braden was calling me. Della. God, please let her be okay.

"Is she okay?" I asked the moment I answered the phone.

"Yes and no."

"What does that mean?" I asked, standing up and looking for my jeans. If I needed to go to her that night I would.

"She had a dream about her mother. She didn't wake up screaming. She just woke up."

I stopped searching for my jeans. "What?"

"She had one of her dreams but she didn't have a night terror. She didn't get lost in her fears. She just woke up. She's already getting better."

"I'm coming there. I've had enough with waiting. I'm on my way. Tonight."

"No! You're not. You have to give her time. She's meeting with her birth father next. She met with her birth mother and then had dinner with her family all on her own. She needs to do all this alone. She's realizing she can do this. She's also finding out that she was crippled by her fears. She's overcoming that. Don't come here and confuse her. She has to come to you this time, Woods. She thinks you don't want her. She needs to face that fear on her own, too."

Fuck no! "You can't expect me to stay here and let her think I don't want her. That's not okay, Braden. It's not f**king okay. She shouldn't have to overcome a fear that's pointless. How can she think I don't love her? That she isn't my heart, my soul, my future? That's the one thing she should never doubt. That, she needs to know."

"Listen. I know this is hard and you've been great so far but give her just a couple more days. Please. She needs this. Remember this is about what she needs, not what you want."

I started to hit the wall again and stopped myself at the last minute. That wasn't going to help anything. I had to calm down. "When she left here she took my soul with her. I will always belong to her. I don't want her to ever think differently."