And get away from Damen. Not needing to read her thoughts to know what this is really about. Now that she knows we’re back together she’s more determined than ever to break us apart. And while I get how concerned she was by all the moodiness and depression I subjected her to when we were apart, this time she’s got it all wrong. It’s not like she thinks. Though I’ve no idea how to explain that to her and still keep my secrets intact.

“—and as it so happens, a summer internship just opened up at the firm, and I’m sure it’s just a matter of speaking with the senior partners and the job will be yours.” She smiles, face radiant, eyes bright, expecting me to join the celebration as well.

“But aren’t those positions usually reserved for law students?” I ask, sure I’m pathetically underqualified to fill those particular shoes.

But she just shakes her head. “It’s not that type of internship. This is more of a filing and phone answering assignment. And there’s really no money in it either, though you will get school credit and a small end of the season bonus. I just thought it might do you some good. Not to mention how it will really beef up those college applications of yours.”

College. Yet another thing I used to obsess about but not anymore. I mean, what possible use could I have for all of those classes and professors when all I have to do is place my hand on a book or peek inside my teacher’s head to know all the answers?

“I’d hate for anyone else to get in there when I know you’re just perfect for the job.”

I stare at her, unsure what to say.

“It’s good experience for a person your age,” she adds, her indignant tone a result of my silence. “It’s recommended in all the books. They say it builds character, commitment, and the discipline to show up on time and get the job done.”

Great. So I have Dr. Phil to thank for ruining my summer. Completely annoyed with Sabine until I remember how she was when I first got here—calm, relaxed, and completely laid back, allowing me all the space and freedom I needed. It’s my fault she changed. My suspension, my refusal to ingest anything other than the red elixir, and all the drama with Damen is what sent her over the edge. And this is where it led—to the dreaded summer internship she’s bent on securing for me.

But no way can I spend the summer juggling a mountain of files and incessantly ringing phones when I’m going to need all the free time I can get to find an antidote for Damen. And working in Sabine’s office, with her and her colleagues snooping over my shoulder, just will not do.

Though it’s not like I can say that outright. It’ll set off her alarms. I need to play it cool, let her know that while I’ve nothing against discipline and character building, I prefer to tackle those things on my own.

“I’m totally cool with working,” I say, trying not to press my lips together, fidget, or break eye contact, three definite giveaways that I’m not being entirely honest. “But since you do so much for me already, I’d feel a lot better if I could find my own job. I mean, I’m just not sure I’m cut out for office work, so maybe I could look around a little. See what my options are. I’ll even pitch in with the mortgage and food. It’s the least I can do.”

“What food?” She laughs, shaking her head. “You barely eat! Besides, I don’t want your money, Ever. Though I will help you establish a line of credit if you’d like.”

“Sure.” I shrug, forcing an enthusiasm I don’t really feel since I’ve absolutely no need for such conventional things. “That would be great!” I add, knowing that the longer I can keep her mind off this internship, the better for me.

“Okay then.” She drums her fingers against the doorjamb as she finalizes her plan. “You’ve got one week to find something on your own.”

I gulp, trying to keep the eye bugging to a minimum. One week? What kind of a head start is that when I don’t even know where to begin? I’ve never had a job before. Is it possible to just manifest one?

“I know it’s not much time,” she says, reading my face. “But I’d hate for them to fill the position when I know you’d be perfect.”

She heads into the hall and closes the door between us, leaving me sideswiped, dumbstruck, staring at the flickering remnants of her orangey aura, her magnetic energy field, hovering insistently in the space where she stood. Thinking how ironic it is that I was just making fun of Damen for assuming he could land a job without any experience only to find myself facing the same exact fate.

Chapter Eleven

I toss and turn all night. Bed a tangled mess of sweat-dampened pillows and blankets, body and mind exhausted by dreams. Waking briefly, gasping for air, only to be pulled under again, returning to the very same place I fought to escape.

And the only reason I want it to stop is because Riley is there. Laughing happily as she grabs hold of my hand, taking me on a tour of a very strange land. But even though I skip right alongside her, pretending to enjoy the trip too, the moment she turns her back, I scramble for the surface, eager to remove myself from this scene.

Because the truth is, it’s not really Riley. Riley is gone. Having crossed the bridge at my urging, moving on to some unknown place. And even though she keeps yanking me back, yelling at me to pay attention, to just trust her and stop running—I refuse to obey. Sure that it’s some kind of punishment for harming Damen, sending Drina to the Shadowland, and putting everything I care about at risk—allowing my subconscious to produce these guilt-induced images, so sugar-coated with happiness, there’s no way they’re real.