Shadow Page 9
She wasn’t even sure what to do but hesitantly approached. He was so large and his bronzed skin mesmerized her. His legs closed until his thighs were clamped together and he broke eye contact.
“Sit sideways across my lap and lean against me.”
I can do this. She sat down on him the way he wanted and peered up at his face. He closed his eyes though and avoided looking at her again. Warmth seeped through the flags in seconds and she dragged her wet hair over her other shoulder to prevent it from brushing the chest she leaned against. He was solid and firm. Her hand opened and it trembled as she pressed it against the tight abs of his lower belly.
He sucked in air but didn’t open his eyes as she felt the muscles bunch under her palm. “You’re very warm.”
“Good.” Shadow’s voice came out unusually deep. “What was your nightmare about? We should pass the time talking. You are safe at Homeland. There is nothing for you to fear.”
Beauty grew braver and adjusted a little on his lap. It was comfortable sitting on him and she rested her cool cheek against his chest more firmly. The smell of him filled her nose as she took a deep breath. It was a nice masculine scent mixed with hints of the storm.
“It was actually a memory of something real that happened. I wish it was just part of my imagination.”
She thought he tensed but the motion was so mild that she wasn’t sure if he just slightly adjusted or if it was a reaction to her words. He breathed and it rubbed his chest a little against her. She liked the feel of him and relaxed against his frame.
“Do you want to talk about it? We all have things that have happened to us that follow us into our dreams.”
“I did something bad when I was rescued.”
“You didn’t believe they were really there to free you? It’s a common mistake a lot of us made. You are not to blame. Who thought we could ever trust humans?”
“It was a man,” she admitted. “He asked me to be nice to him. He feared I’d attack him and I…” Her voice trailed off. She was ashamed to admit what she’d done.
A hand tentatively patted her back twice before it stopped. The touch was so soft she barely felt it. “It is understandable if you tried to harm him.”
“I did worse.”
“Humans harmed us. Nothing is your fault, Beauty.”
Her heart did funny things, hearing the raspy way he said her name. She listened to his heartbeat. It was loud in her ear and strong. Steady. It was soothing and nice. “I thought…” She bit her lip. “I don’t even want to say it.”
“That he would harm you? That’s what humans did to us.”
She pulled away from him a little to stare up at his face. His chin lowered and he peered back at her. Compassion and acceptance softened them and encouraged her to speak. She wanted to confess to Shadow for some reason.
“I was owned by a man so old his hair was white and his skin was wrinkled. He would yell at me sometimes when I was a child and I didn’t know why he seemed so angry. It wasn’t until I grew older that things turned worse. He was waiting until I was an adult to get what he wanted from me.”
Shadow suddenly growled and his facial expression changed. A flash of fear shot through her and her instincts made her want to bolt. He must have sensed it because his arms loosely wrapped around her.
“Calm,” he softly ordered. “I’d never harm you. It’s not you I feel the rage toward. I’ve heard the stories of what was done to Gift Females. There’s no need to relive the trauma you suffered.”
“I need to talk about it.” She wanted to get to know Shadow and hear his story. She hoped sharing hers would make him open up. “He never hurt me physically when I was growing up. I’ve heard some of the stories too. He didn’t molest me as a child.”
Some of the anger eased from his features. “I am glad to hear it.”
“He waited for me to mature.”
His chest under her hand vibrated half a second before a growl was muffled behind his closed lips. She understood it wasn’t directed at her. Her gaze left his to focus on his chest. It was easier to talk while not staring into his eyes.
“He wasn’t too physically abusive, it was more mental. I didn’t enjoy him touching me but I’ve heard worse stories. It didn’t even last long.”
“Stop,” Shadow whispered. “Please?”
She looked at his face and it surprised her to see unshed tears in his eyes. He hurt for her and it stunned her that a stranger would feel such emotion over something that had happened in her past.
“He got cancer. It’s a disease that made him weak and sick.”
“I hope he died painfully.” Shadow’s jaw clenched.
“He survived but he couldn’t touch me anymore. It left him in a wheelchair and unable to hurt me.”
“Good.” He snarled.
She nodded and leaned back against him, closing her eyes. His heartbeat had increased, hammering inside his chest. “The guards never dared touch me. They did say things. I knew what they wanted from me. They’d offer me more food and to treat me nicer if I did things to them and for them.”
The arms around her tightened enough that she felt secure in his hold. “We do what we must to survive.”
“I never did it.” She shivered, remembering how they’d taunt her by eating in front of her and saying crude things. “I was never nice to them. They scared me but I knew if I told Master that he’d fire them. He made it clear that none of them were allowed to put their hands on me. He would question me a lot about that and made me promise to tell him if anyone tried to come into the basement without him sending them there to fetch me to visit him.”