Shadow Page 34
“I’m not the right male for this.”
“You don’t want me.” It stung. “It’s okay.”
“I want you. I’m just telling you the truth. I’ve avoided females.”
“Is it because of what was done to you? Does it make you hate women?”
“Not hate, no. I’m afraid I’ll lose control if I have a flashback. I suffer nightmares.”
“What exactly was done to you?”
He didn’t answer and she thought he wouldn’t until he took a ragged breath. “They gave me breeding drugs and put things over my eyes to force me to watch video images of human women touching themselves. It made my dick hard because I’m male and the drugs aroused me greatly.” Pain flashed in his beautiful eyes. “They hooked my dick to a machine that stimulated me to release my seed.”
“To steal your se**n to sell.” She remembered him telling her that.
“It hurt bad and even after my seed was taken they didn’t stop. They had drugged me enough to make me mindless so I suffered. I began to associate pain and humiliation with seeing a female body. I’ve progressed somewhat since being freed. The feminine form arouses me now but the idea of following through with action makes me hesitate.”
Beauty continued to stroke his hair with her fingertips. “Did it make you feel that way when I walked out of the bathroom just now without my towel?”
The arm around her waist tightened slightly. “No.”
“How did it make you feel?”
He softly growled and lowered his focus to her chest. “Afraid, but I wanted you.”
“How could I possibly frighten you?” It amazed her that he’d say that.
He looked up and held her gaze. “You’re smaller than me and I worry I’d be too rough if I put my hands on you.”
“You’re touching me right now and you’re being very gentle.” She swallowed hard. “Maybe we could help each other get over our pasts.”
“How?”
Her heart hammered with fear but she wanted Shadow. “Come to bed with me.”
Chapter Eight
Shadow waged an inner battle while peering at Beauty. It was so tempting to take her up on the offer to share a bed. The condition of his dick would make that a bad idea. He didn’t just want to hold her in his arms. He would touch, perhaps lick, and even bite. He glanced down her body. There were a dozen places he’d love to scrape his fangs on her skin. Would she shiver with need for more or would it instill terror?
Memories of being chained up while his body was forced into submission to release his seed had damaged him. Those images of nude human females had been arousing and in turn, he’d grown to hate the sight of them. Beauty wasn’t them. His mind knew the difference. His body did as well, judging by its responses. Desire he’d long denied heated his blood. Instead of masturbating just to tend his physical needs, he wanted close intimate contact with the Gift Female.
He thought back to the few times at Mercile that he’d been used in breeding tests. The females hadn’t been overly friendly or talkative. Their lives had made them emotionally detached. The feline he’d mounted on three different occasions had walked into his cell, stripped out of just her pants and gotten into position on her hands and knees on his cot. When he’d attempted to arouse her by touching her gently and exploring her sex, she’d snarled, “Just do it. I knew they were bringing me to a male and I prepared my body.”
That would account for the smell of her. The rich aroma coming off her had made his dick hard and his animal urges surged. Taking her had been physically pleasurable, no denying that, but the act had been cold. She’d left immediately afterward, asking the technicians to take her away.
She hadn’t recognized him when he’d seen her again at Homeland—Kit. That or she had purposely ignored their past association. Seeing her alive had been both a relief that someone he’d met during those brief encounters at Mercile had also survived and an embarrassing reminder of what they’d once been subjected to. He’d heard the females had been taken to a lot of males and it had been several years ago. It was possible that he just hadn’t been memorable to her.
The other female was one he’d never seen again. A technician had brought her to him twice during the breeding tests. She’d been canine and aggressive. She’d giving his body a once-over, assessing him, and flashed fangs. “Just don’t bite me. The last male attempted that.”
“I won’t harm you,” he’d sworn.
She’d nodded. “Proceed.”
He’d been at a loss as to what to do. Irritation had flashed in her expression when he’d just stood there waiting for an indication of what she expected. “First time breeding?”
“No.”
“Make me wet.”
He’d glanced at the water source in his cell. She’d growled, pulling his attention back to her.
“You know nothing, do you?”
Shame had burned through him. “I can mount you.”
She’d pulled at the seams of her clothing, tearing them off. “Follow me. You’ll learn.”
He’d watched as she dropped onto his mat, rolled over, and spread her thighs. She pointed at the floor beside her. “Kneel right there. What is your number?”
“I am 358. What is yours?”
“433. This is what you’re going to do, 358.”