Scarlet Page 22


“Your hair’s longer than I guessed,” he said.

I killed a man today. It were the first response that bubbled up out of my head, but I didn’t open my yap. I didn’t know what that had to do with my hair or him pressed against me, all warm and alive and very much not dead, but it were all I could think. I couldn’t say it, and it settled down like a rock wall between my head and his, even though his breath were on my neck and his nose were against my head.

I woke up feeling warm, but my head were ringing with alarm. I were still tucked against John, both my arms behind his one like it were some shield, and the light were snaking into the cave. I looked around, trying not to move till I knew what were wrong. I saw Rob, sitting up a few feet away and looking at me, and looking at John, and looking at the way me and John were wrapped together.

He met my eyes, his face grim and his eyes stormy blue black. He didn’t say nothing and stood and walked out of the cave.

I pushed away from John and pulled the blanket around me, cold again but for my cheeks, which were blushing hard. He were walking away fast, and I moved faster to keep up.

“Rob,” I called. “Robin.”

He stopped.

“I just—” I stopped, and he turned to me, his eyes dark and hard. I felt shaky again. “I killed that guard yesterday.”

He nodded, like he got why I just blurted that out. Which must have been fair hard, since I didn’t know, myself. His ears were red and his jaw were clenched, but he nodded again and turned away from me, walking deeper into the forest.

I turned back to the cave. I couldn’t go back to sleep, but it were right enough; it were Sunday, the Lord’s day, and I went deep into the cave, looking for the small parcel I tried to keep hidden.

Staying in the darker bits, and watching John and Much, I changed quick into the gown, untwining the muslin that I used to pin my bits back. Couldn’t very well be running for your hide with bits jiggling all over the place, could you? I combed through my hair, tying it out of the way, and pulled on the hooded ladies’ cloak. Looking very much like a girl, I went out of the cave.

I know it’s fair strange for a girl who turned her back on the wishes of her father and mother (fourth commandment) and steals (seventh commandment) and lies a fair amount (eighth commandment) and even killed a body (fifth commandment) to feel so particular about going to church. But I went every Sunday I could, and I figured that, black as my soul were already, the one person I shouldn’t be making falsehoods to is God—and most times, that’s what wearing my usual clothes felt like. Besides, I couldn’t wear a hat in church, and I couldn’t very well wear my hair down and look like Will Scarlet—that way were faster than wildfire for trouble.

There were a small little abbey in the middle of Sherwood run by the Franciscan friars (it’s where Tuck got the name for his house), and they always let me come in to their masses and confess to their priest. They weren’t much popular with the local folk, but that suited me just fine.

“My dear lady,” Brother Benedict greeted. He and I were friends, I think. I handed him some money I had collected that week, and he pressed it to his chest, treasure-like. “As always, your generosity astounds me.”

I looked down. “Well, you know how I come by it,” I reminded.

“Come, daughter, and walk with me before the Mass.”

I nodded, and we walked over to the animal yards. The Franciscans loved their animals dear, and they had the oddest collection in the shire. A spaniel that favored Benedict bounded over to me, leading a baby duck and three kittens like a piper. “Gisbourne is here,” I told him.

“Ah,” he said.

“He’s going to make it worse. He’ll kill people. He’ll gouge their hearts out to get what he wants.”

“Is it you he wants?”

“If there’s such a list, I’m more than like on it. He doesn’t know I’m here yet.”

“And can you stop any of this bloodshed?”

“Yes. We’ll stop as much as we can. We protect our people.”

“And if you turned yourself over to him?”

I shook my head. “I can’t. It wouldn’t stop him, and it won’t help me any.” My mug filled with shame, and I searched the sky. “Besides, I reckon he’d kill me.”

“You and your fellows are charged with a most difficult task, my lady. You protect the people, and no one will imagine it to be easy for you, or your souls.”

“I killed a man, Brother,” I told him. “Yesterday. He attacked me.”

He sighed. “These are strange days. I’ve said to you before that if there were any time the Lord might forgive our darkest transgressions, it may well be these equally dark times, but we both know the peril your soul is in.”

I nodded. “I don’t have much hope for my soul.”

“You’ve sinned, my lady, but if anyone ever did it for the right reasons, it’s you and your fellows. It will be for God to judge such a tangled web, not I.” He touched my hand. “And as for Gisbourne, stay far away from him. If he knows you are near, he won’t stop until he possesses you. We would all be loath to see that happen.”

I bent and let the spaniel lick my hand.

“Come. You must pray, and confess, and cleanse your soul if you have any hope to defend its righteousness.”

I nodded and let him lead me back to the small chapel. I started to move toward the back, but he tugged me frontward.

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