“Lies! You lied! You broke me!” I yell at the man in the photo. “I loved you! I believed you when you said you’d never hurt me.” My voice cracks. “You didn’t hurt me! You destroyed me. You destroyed the boys because you’re selfish! Selfish!” I throw the photo to the ground and the glass splinters into tiny shards. “You!” Tears fall. “You did this. You couldn’t stick it out, so you leave us to deal with it? Is that it?” My head falls back as I talk to the ceiling.

I’ve tried so hard to keep myself together. Each day I gather enough strength to get Cayden and Logan to school before I crawl back to bed. I’ve lived my entire life with someone taking care of me. I don’t know how to be this woman. My father, him , and then Todd have defined who I am. Now, I’m the widow.

I’m the girl whose husband tragically died.

If they only knew.

My eyes close as I try to get my emotions in check. The boys will be home in a few hours, and I need a plan.

The doorbell rings before I have a chance to even think.

“Jeff,” I say quietly. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

“Can I come in, Presley?”

I open the door and wave my arm, inviting in Todd’s old boss. “What can I do for you?”

He looks at the mess, and for the first time, I see it all. Dishes stacked, clothes in piles, and open chip bags. I cringe. Chips are all I’ve been eating for two weeks.

“How are you holding up?”

Jeff and Todd were extremely close. They helped turn the investment firm into what it is. Each of them were promoted around the same time and handled top accounts. For their ages, the money they made was remarkable.

“What do you care?” I ask with disdain dripping from each syllable.

He lets out a heavy sigh before his hands grip the back of his neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to the funeral. I couldn’t believe he . . . I mean, I never thought he would . . .”

Only Angie and my in-laws know it was suicide. His words now tell me that he knows as well.

My lips part as my chest aches. “You knew this was possible?” I struggle to intake air. “You knew he was thinking about this?”

“I didn’t think he was serious, Presley. Not him. Not like this.”

Each breath is labored. I step back, the backs of my knees hit the couch, and I sink down. “You could’ve stopped him.” My vision becomes blurred with tears. “You could’ve told me or anyone. If you had, maybe this wouldn’t be my goddamn life.”

“If I thought for one second he was serious, I would have,” he explains. I look at him as he crouches in front of me with a pained expression. “I swear.”

My body shakes as I feel everything come rushing forward. It’s as if I walked in on him all over again. All I can do is sit here in disbelief. He went to Jeff and didn’t come to me. But Jeff didn’t tell us. All of this is so fucked-up. I fight back the urge to scream. Why couldn’t he trust me?

Jeff grips my hand. “He came to the office and begged me to rehire him. I explained that I couldn’t. The investors didn’t want to work with him after the money he lost on a bad tip. No accounts were going to trust him, but he begged still. He told me he was desperate and he hadn’t told you he was fired,” he pauses, drawing in a deep breath. “I explained that my hands were tied, but if I could help—I would.”

I can tell he wants to say more. I squeeze my eyes as the beads of moisture fall down my cheeks. “Go on,” I murmur.

“He said he probably wouldn’t see me again but made me promise I’d check in on you and the boys. I had no idea why the hell he would say that, so I asked him, but he said he’d be leaving.”

A howl comes from my throat as I fall apart. My hands cover my face and Jeff’s arms encircle me. “Why?” I ask again, trying to make sense of this.

“I thought he meant leaving town, not this. When I heard, I couldn’t face you.” He rubs my back. “I’m so sorry. I never thought he was serious. I didn’t think he meant this.”

Jeff sits with me for the next hour as I process everything he says. He’s struggling with guilt, and I’m battling to get through another minute. We talk about how bad off I am financially, and Jeff offers to help, but when he hears the numbers, his face says it all. There’s no way to fix this. It’s not just a simple cut, it’s an artery ripped apart. The utilities will be off soon, the bank will take the house, and there’s no way to stop it.

It’s clear that from this day forward, I have to leave the dependent girl I was behind and stand on my own feet.

Three Months Later

“I’ M NOT GOING.” CAYDEN STANDS at the door with his arms crossed. “I don’t want to move. I hate this.”

He’s not the only one. I feel the same way. Logan has been the only one handling it somewhat well. Since being told that we had to vacate our home within sixty days, our lives have fallen apart. I’m barely keeping us together with Scotch tape and bubble gum.

“I know you don’t want to go. But we have nowhere to live, Cay. Nana and Papa have a big home, and as soon as we have enough money to get out of there, we will. This is temporary.”

At least that’s what I’m deluding myself into believing. Last night I spent two hours sobbing as I packed the rest of our things. I had to sell all our furniture and anything we couldn’t fit in the small trailer. Basically, we’re bringing nothing but clothes and personal items.

“You’re making us go! This is where we lived with Dad! This is where he was. Why are you trying to make my life miserable?”

“Yes, Cayden. That’s my goal, to make you miserable. We have no choice. We have nowhere to live.”

He grumbles under his breath before he puts his headphones back on. This is the new normal with him. All he does is watch videos or listen to music. He’s angry, while Logan is depressed and clingy. At times, I wish I could behave like them, but there’s been no time for me to feel. I’ve spent hours trying to find a way to avoid having to go back to Tennessee.

But, it’s inevitable. I have to live with my parents, work on the ranch, and face every person who told me I’d be back. The only good thing is that he’s not there. It’s going to be bad enough, at least I won’t have to face the boy I ran away with.

Angie grabs the last box as Cayden and Logan reluctantly get in the car. I stand in the doorway with conflicting emotions. This is the home we brought the twins to. It’s where they took their first steps, learned to ride bikes, it’s where so many memories were made and where I saw our future, but it’s also filled with pain. I haven’t used the master bathroom since I found my husband there. I can’t go in there. I see his body, even though I know it’s not there. My heart races from simply touching the doorknob. Instead, I use the one in the hallway, where no memories haunt me.

I close the door with tears in my eyes. No matter what the last few months have brought into our lives, this was home.

Angie leans against my car door with her sunglasses over her eyes, even though it’s overcast. “Hey.” She attempts a smile.

“This isn’t forever,” I say the words with such conviction I almost believe them. “I’ll be back.”