Say You Want Me Page 27
“Yes!” I start gagging a little again. “I’m going to puke!”
He moves around and does something, but I can’t watch. Just seeing it was enough to make my stomach roll. I lean my head back over the side of the boat. I may not have any kind of morning sickness, but clearly I can’t handle the idea of fish.
I hear a splash in the water, and I look over. The fish is gone. Thank God. I right myself as Wyatt moves back over to me.
“Clearly fishing isn’t your thing,” he says while wrapping his arms around my chest.
“I tried.”
He kisses the side of my head. “You did. And that was your line.”
“It was?” I perk up a little.
Wyatt moves his lips to my shoulders. “I think you’ve caught more than one fish today.”
“Yeah?” I ask, moving my head so we’re now face to face. “There were two on that line?” I swear I only saw one.
“No, baby. I think you hooked something else.”
Okay, fishing may suck, but fishing with Wyatt is pretty kick ass. And I don’t think I’m the only one who caught something today.
“AND THEN WHAT?” PRESLEY PRACTICALLY bounces in her seat as I relay what happened the other night at the bakery. “Did you guys . . .” She puts the cup of coffee to her lips, and her eyes bug out.
“No. We didn’t.” I laugh.
Sometimes I forget how innocent Presley has always been. While I was screaming at parties, dancing on bars, and doing a lot of very unladylike things in bathrooms, Presley was studying. She was never adventurous, but she balanced me. I pulled her out of her small-town world, and she made sure I didn’t end up knocked up.
Lot of good that did.
“Because you guys might, what? Get pregnant?” She scoffs, clearly disappointed that we didn’t.
“No, my dear friend.” I roll my eyes. “It wasn’t about that. It was about us and pushing a little more.”
“I’m sure it was.”
I think about how great he was. I always knew he was a good guy. Presley always spoke about him in the highest regard. Plus, I’ve seen him with the boys. Men don’t spend time with other people’s kids if they’re douchebags. I didn’t know he was this fantastic.
“This is going to sound ridiculous, but . . .” I can’t even believe I’m going to ask this. “Why the hell did you not date him?”
Pres snorts and purses her lips. “Wyatt and I have known each other since birth. I don’t remember a time in my childhood without him. But even back then, Zach was all I saw. Wyatt was my best friend, but I never looked at him like that. Besides, he didn’t show interest in me until his brother and I were together.” She laughs. “It was like the kid who didn’t get the shiny toy. That was when Wyatt suddenly liked me or whatever. But honestly, I could never see him that way. His friendship meant way too much to me. It’s not because there was anything wrong with him. I would’ve been lucky to love Wyatt. He’s the most selfless person I know.”
She makes sense. I’ve never had a man I loved like that or a friend I wouldn’t risk screwing. “I understand. I think.”
“Let me put it this way.” Presley shifts in her seat. “If there were no Zachary, I would’ve married Wyatt before he could’ve changed his mind. He’s the guy you marry, Ang. He’s the guy you build your whole life around. He’s the guy you move for.”
Her eyes grow serious at the last sentence. I know she’s saying that I would be an idiot to walk away from him. She won’t say that, though. She knows I need to come to this on my own terms and I can’t be forced or feel as if there’s no other choice. There’s always a choice. I just hope I don’t fuck it up.
“I hear you, Pres. I hear what you’re saying.”
So,” she draws out the word. “Tell me where you’re going on your date with Wyatt next week.”
I wish I knew. He won’t say a word. The man likes his surprises.
“No clue.”
“Typical, Wyatt. He probably hasn’t figured it out yet so he can’t tell you.” Presley has warned me that where Zach is the romantic type, Wyatt is not. He’s never had to be. At the same time, I’m not the romance type of girl. I don’t need to be wooed. I need to know I’m not wasting my damn time. “But then again, I figure this date is going to be different. You better throw your stupid rule book out.” Pres warns me.
“I’m pretty sure we’ll break every damn rule I came here with. Multiple times.”
She laughs. “Oh, thank God. Did you really think you guys wouldn’t hit it off?”
“I didn’t want to think about it. I also didn’t want anyone to have any outside input.”
Presley’s eyes study mine, and I remember how much she knows about me. Presley heard me cry many nights when my mother would let me know how much of a disappointment I was. She watched me fall apart the night she told me that having me was a mistake and probably expedited her becoming sick. My mother has blamed me in some way for every horrible part of her life. I don’t know why or what I did other than try to be a good daughter, but she’s let me know it wasn’t appreciated.
She also knows my mother is capable of many shitty things. Presley was on the receiving end of it once, and my brother put a stop to it. On Presley’s wedding day my mother made one hell of a scene about where her seat was placed. She called Presley names, threw a king-size fit, and Todd practically threw her out. My father smoothed it over, but it ended with me trying to fix Presley’s makeup after she burst into tears.
“You know that her opinion doesn’t matter, right?”
And there you have it. She knows exactly what I worry about. “I do.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
She shifts in her seat. “I’ve known you for . . . well, ever. I’ve gotten to see some of your family’s interactions. Things that neither Todd nor I ever understood. But there was a reason we stayed in Philly instead of going to Florida like your parents begged us to. We didn’t want the kids around your mom’s constant criticism or your brother’s bullshit. Todd never saw you that way, Ang.”
When she talks about Todd like this, I start to ache. “Todd was never like them,” I say with emotion dripping from each word. He was so much more.
He was more of a protector than my father was. Todd always made sure that he took the brunt of Josh’s crap when all three of us were together. Then he left this world without so much as a goodbye.
And I let him.
It’s not like I knew he was in trouble, but I should’ve. I was his sister, and we were close. I should’ve known something was wrong, but I was oblivious. I hate myself for it.
“No.” She takes my hand. “He wasn’t. He loved you so much. He saw you as his perfect little sister. You weren’t just my reason for wanting to stay in Pennsylvania. You were his, too. You’ve spent your life pushing people away because of what your mother did. Todd and I were the only people you let in. He cherished that, Ang. He was always worried about you. There were so many nights that he would talk about you needing someone to be there for you. I wish he could see you now.”