Say You Want Me Page 18
That girl can’t be uncovered.
That girl is stupid.
That girl will get her heart broken because this man only wants her because she’s pregnant.
“Because . . .” I trail off. “You’re . . . such an . . . Ugh! I don’t even know!”
Wyatt steps forward, and I have to lean back to see his eyes. The sun is setting behind me, shining on his face, and the way he looks at me . . . leaves me breathless. It’s as if I’m the center of his world. It reminds me of how Zach looks at Presley. “I’m doing what’s right. You can call me whatever you want. But you’re pregnant with my baby, and that means I’m takin’ care of you.”
“I’m completely capable of taking care of myself. I’ve been alone and been perfectly fine.”
“It means you belong with me,” he carries on as if I haven’t spoken. “I’m gettin’ pretty tired of explaining this to you. I’ve made it clear to you that I want to make whatever this is work. You’re so hell bent on doin’ this on your own that you won’t even see anything else. If I gave you space, it would solidify your point that you should stay away. You can do this on your own, I know that. But why would you want to? Why are you so adamant about being alone? Why won’t you see that there’s a whole lot of people who want to be a part of your life?”
“Because it never stays that way!” I yell and cup my hand over my mouth. A tear falls from my eyes as the truth comes out.
And there it is.
In my heart, I know why. He’s the kind of guy I want to want me. He’s strong, sexy, caring, and so much more. There are layers to Wyatt, and I want to peel back each one of them. It was why I kept finding ways to be around him when I visited. It was why I practically jumped at the chance to sleep with him. Because Wyatt makes me feel alive. He’s excavated the parts of me I’ve buried under sarcasm and attitude, the girl who wants a man to love her.
But fairy tales don’t come true.
People die.
And I’m destined to be forgotten.
Wyatt’s thumb brushes the tear away. “You’ve been through a lot of shit, but you haven’t actually dealt with it, have you?”
I shake my head. “No, you don’t get it, Wyatt. I’m happy. I’m genuinely happy alone. I like my life, my job, my apartment, and now everything is changing. I’ve kept things exactly the same because they work that way!” Another tear falls. “I don’t want to like you. But you’re making it impossible. You’re going to realize I’m a giant pain in the ass. I’m stubborn, and I won’t give up my life for a man. I can’t do it. Because when you do realize I’m not worth the effort—You’ll go.”
“I’m not leavin’ you. I’m not leavin’ my kid. You’re going to have to get used to that.”
“You don’t know that. You can’t possibly know that.”
He pulls me against his chest and holds me there. My fingers grip his shirt, and I hold on. I want to believe that he means it. But I’ve never had a guy stick it out with me. I’m moody, more so with a kid wreaking havoc on my hormones. There are girls like Presley who have epic loves, then there is me. I’m not the type of girl guys love. I’m the type they fuck and move on from. I’ve been fine with that. Happy even.
Wyatt lets out a deep sigh. “I’ll prove it.”
I sure hope so, because I could use a Prince Charming rather than the frogs I’ve been kissing.
We make it the rest of the way home without anymore outbursts. I mull over everything he said and try to put it into categories.
The reasons why I should keep myself guarded.
There’s all the pros of why I think Wyatt is great, which is slowly making the former column damn near obsolete.
My world has pretty much been flipped around, so it’s likely I’m a little off my game. Normally by now, I’d have found a hundred reasons why he’s the last man on earth I want to be with. It doesn’t usually take long. I find things annoying pretty quickly, but that list . . . is tiny.
Sure he is too damn sweet, he doesn’t really cook much, and he seems to have issues with leaving the toilet seat up, but that’s about it. I genuinely like being around him, and I find ways throughout the day to see him.
We both seem to be lost in our own minds as we muddle around the house. I get changed, he puts some things away, and we both climb into bed.
“Wyatt?”
“Hmm?”
“If I wasn’t having the baby, would you still want me?”
His body goes still and then I feel him move quickly. The light turns on, and he stares at me. “Why would you ask me that?”
“There’s these things I wonder about,” I admit. “It’s why I keep holding myself back. One of them is how you feel about Presley, the baby, and then where I fit into all that.”
It’s an honest question, but I don’t know why I’m asking it. I just know if I don’t, it’s going to eat me alive. Wyatt and I have spent the last two weeks being open, getting to know each other, and talking about almost everything. My feelings are growing stronger with each day that passes, but the worry that my feelings are because of the baby won’t go away.
“I don’t know what I would feel. I liked you a long time ago, but we had our separate lives, Ang. I do know that we are having a baby, and I care about you. I don’t think there’s a real way to answer that.”
I know what he means, but if there were no baby, would we even be having this conversation? The answer is no. The baby is the reason I’m here. The baby is the reason all this is happening. Wyatt and I might have hooked up whenever I came for a visit. Maybe we would’ve spent a few hot and heavy nights together, but I would’ve gone back to Philly.
To my life.
He would’ve stayed here—where he belongs.
“Let me ask you a question,” Wyatt says. “Why did you agree to come here?”
“Because you asked.”
“No.” He sits up. “That’s bullshit.”
“No, it’s the answer.”
He releases a sarcastic laugh. “Why did you agree?”
“I told you!” Now, I’m getting frustrated.
“Was it because you wanted to see what this was? Was it because you wanted to know me better? Why, Angie? Why come here? Why would you give up three months of your life?”
The pit in my stomach grows. “Because!” I sit up, anger and confusion flowing through me. Why is he pushing me so hard?
Wyatt doesn’t stop. “What was your goal? Why would you change your entire world and come here? Just like you have fears, I got them too. I’m trying to get you to see that I’m not playin’ around. I’m giving you all I got, and you’re holding back.”
“I’m scared.”
“I am too, baby. I’m livin’ with knowing you’re packed up and gone with my kid in a few months. I’m going to make you see that what you’re willing to give up is more than what you got back home. I’m doing my damn best to ensure you see who I am. I don’t know if we’d be doing this if you weren’t pregnant. Hell, I know we wouldn’t.” He lets out a laugh devoid of all humor. “We’re both stubborn assholes, and we’d let that game play on for years. We don’t have years. We’re running on borrowed time.”