Say I'm Yours Page 56
We continue to make love. Our connection is stronger than ever, and I don’t need words to see what he’s feeling. He needs me and this as much as I do. The sounds of love and ecstasy fill the air as I give myself to him. I take all of him. I love all of him. Every broken and damaged part is mine because he is.
I lean down, touch his face, and tell him again how much I love him. I want the words to be etched into his soul. I want him to not just hear them but to feel them.
He drags me higher so we’re nose to nose. “You’re the only thing I know that’s real.”
“I’m real. I’m yours, and I love you, Trent.”
I’ll say it until he believes it, until he knows that even if everything else we know in the world is taken away, I’ll always be his.
Chapter 20
Trent
W e lie here on the blankets with her arms wrapped around me. Just like all those years ago, we’re here, alone but together, and one of us is hurting. My mind replays the conversation in the hospital on repeat.
“Trent is his son in every way that matters,” Mama says and then sighs. “We’d planned to tell him, but . . .”
“No one tells him I’m not his father.”
Not my father.
A part of my entire being slipped away in that second. He’s my father, but he’s not. The lies and deception eat away at me. They could’ve told me, but they chose to keep their secrets.
All those times I was told I was a Hennington.
Lies.
Tons of lies.
Grace props her head on my chest, and I try to calm my heart. “Talk to me,” she urges.
“There’s nothing to say.”
“Trent, don’t pull away from me, please.”
Her blue eyes beg me more than her words. I’m fighting it. I wish she knew how hard I’m trying to stop myself. When she showed up, I wanted to toss her out. Not because I didn’t want to see her but because I knew she’d fight me. She’d use every trick she could to get to me, and I would let her.
Grace has a way of breaking through the steel wall I erect. She always does, and most times, I’m grateful for it.
I look in her blue eyes and rake my fingers down her spine. “I’m glad you found me. I think I wanted you to all along.”
A phone rings, but neither of us moves. I don’t feel like talking to anyone but her right now. Grace is all I have that makes sense in my life.
She smiles and shakes her head. “Is that why you came here?”
“This is the first place we spent the night together. You slept in my arms, and I remember thinking I was a lucky bastard.”
“And you came back here to be alone with your beer?”
I chuckle and squeeze her tight. “I don’t think you get it, I needed you and you came. I didn’t want anyone, but I needed you.”
“You could’ve just went home and waited for me. You didn’t have to run away.”
I hate that I disappointed her again. I wasn’t thinking. I knew that I couldn’t stand to be around anyone. I had to go where no one would find me. I thought about going out to the cabin, but my brothers would look there. I thought about taking a hike into the woods, but didn’t feel like packing for a campout.
So, I came here.
I wish I would’ve stayed home, because once again, I caused pain to the person who has never betrayed me.
She deserves an explanation. “I didn’t want to hurt you, sweetheart. I just couldn’t look at any of them.”
Grace tilts her head and looks at me with sadness in her eyes. “You can’t stay here, honey. Your daddy needs you.”
Here we go.
I knew it was coming. I start to get agitated because I wanted to avoid all this shit. Talking to my parents isn’t going to help anything. Plus, she keeps forgetting that he already has his sons.
“Did you miss the part where I said he’s not my father?” My voice is terse, and I know she hears the anger. Her eyes close, which makes me feel like shit again. How is it that with one look from her, she can make me feel as if I kicked her dog?
“I heard you loud and clear, honey.”
Grace gets up, grabs the blanket we were using, and wraps herself tight.
“I much preferred you naked.” I try to joke, but she isn’t budging. She gives me a quick look before sitting beside me.
“I need you to hear what I say and not stare at my boobs.”
Smart girl, but since she said it, I’m picturing them just fine.
She snaps her fingers in my face. “Hello, Trent.”
“Sorry.” I shrug and rest my hands behind my head. “I’m listenin’ to all the reasons you think I should go talk to them.”
Grace gives me a pointed glare, and I sit quiet. “When I left, your dad wasn’t responding well to the transfusion. He’s sick, and you and I both know he’s dyin’. You’re not going to get answers about who you are and why they’ve been lying by hiding out here.”
“What if I don’t want the answers?”
She shifts a little and sighs. “I don’t think that’s the case.”
When did she get so damn knowledgeable about me? I do want answers, but I’m too pissed. They lied, they hid things, and now I feel like everything I thought I knew—vanished. Just like that.
I lived in a house of cards that was built on a crumbling foundation.
“It’s better if I get my head straight first.”
Grace curls herself back into my side with her head on my shoulder. “There has to be a reason why they never told you. I don’t think your parents ever wanted to intentionally hurt you?”
“I don’t know what they were trying to do.”
“No, I don’t believe you think that. Your parents are good people. They love you and sure, you’re hurt, I get it, but they would never intentionally set out to destroy you.”
But that’s exactly what happened. If it weren’t for the blood test, I never would’ve found out. I would’ve gone through my entire life believing that I was the firstborn son of Rhett and Macie Hennington. Instead, I’m the bastard son of another man.
“My mom was seventeen when she had me,” I say, tangling my fingers in her long brown hair. “I always assumed my dad knocked her up when they were kids and then they got married. Turns out that I have no idea what happened. Did she have an affair? Did he think I was his until I broke a bone and they found out? Does my real father know I exist? Hell, is he even alive?”