Trent’s hand ascends and touches my cheek. “I can tell you exactly when it happened. It was the day the deputy the next town over was shot. I responded to that call, and all I saw was us. Nick was only thirty years old. He had a wife and a child. He had a whole life in front of him one second, and it was gone the next. When I closed my eyes, it was you crying over that casket.”

I think back to how upset he was about it. Nick was his friend, I could tell it was affecting him, but he refused to talk about it. Trent grew distant during the statewide manhunt for the shooter. I assumed it was because of the hours he was spending on the case, not that he saw himself in Nick. If I had known, I could’ve at least been there to reassure him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask.

“I don’t know.”

“You could’ve talked to me.”

Trent sighs and grips his neck. “Because you’d want to talk. You’d make me think I was being crazy, but that could’ve been me, Grace!” Trent pounds his chest. “I could’ve been the guy in the ground and not him!”

I hate that it’s been years that he’s been struggling with this. I should’ve known, but I was so focused on helping Nick’s widow Penelope that I didn’t think it was hurting Trent.

I take a step closer. “That’s the risk I knew I was taking when I fell in love with you. I held Penelope’s hand. I saw what it did to her, but she said she wouldn’t take back all the love they shared. I wanted that with you.”

Trent touches my cheek before his hand drops. “If you give me another chance, it’ll be different this time. I’ll be different.”

I wipe my face and try to hold on to my fading resolution. He gave me a glimpse inside himself, a tiny sliver of what I’ve been begging him to give me. It would have been enough a month ago. I would have fallen back into his arms and forgiven him. Now, though, I’m not sure a glimpse is enough—if it’s only one more scrap. There are too many times I’ve gone back. Too many times I’ve taken his apology at face value. “I’ve heard this line before.”

He steps closer, but I lift my hand. “Gracie.”

“No. No you don’t get to do this to me again. You can’t promise me things that will never happen.”

“I love you, Grace. I’ve always loved you. I love you, and I promise it’ll be different. I need you, sweetheart.”

Those words.

Those three words that I’ve waited forever to hear.

Another scrap.

My body starts to shake and a strangled sob breaks from my chest. Trent’s arms wrap around me, and I fall apart. I’ve had plenty of people tell me he loves me. I think in some convoluted way he believes he’s told me, but hearing it come from his mouth is too much.

So long I’ve hoped that he did love me. But love isn’t a weapon to be wielded at another. Love doesn’t wound the other person, and right now, I’m in pain.

I need to breathe and think.

I need some space to sort myself out.

Slowly, I get myself under control. I lean back and wipe my eyes. I look into his blue eyes and shake my head. This is everything I wanted, and yet, I would give anything for him to take it back.

Trent must sense what I’m feeling, and he starts to speak quickly. “I’m telling you what I should’ve said a long time ago. I’ve hurt you so much, and I will never forgive myself.”

He has hurt me, and he’s doing it now without meaning to.

“Please, stop,” I plead. “Please give me some time.”

“I want to make it up to you. I think we should—”

“Dammit, Trent!” I push against his chest and step back. “I can’t do this today. I’ve had a really confusing night and then all of this before noon, and I need some time alone. I’ve waited so long to hear those words, and I can’t process this right now.”

Trent takes two strides and lifts my chin to look at him. “Are you going to give me a chance to prove it? Doesn’t it change anything?”

“You’re not going to pressure me into this. I won’t let you.”

“And I won’t watch you with another man. I can’t even think about him touching you like I just did.”

Then, I understand why he finally gave me the one thing I’ve wanted for so long. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want things to change between us. He only cares that I’m not with Cooper. I look at him with hurt and frustration.

“For you to say that to me—”

Knock, knock, knock.

My eyes snap to the door, and Trent stares at me.

“Expectin’ someone?” he asks.

“No.”

“Grace!” Cooper’s deep voice calls from the other side.

“Well.” Trent grins. “I guess you should answer that.”

Chapter 9

T here’s no way this is going to be good. Not one single scenario I’ve run through will yield a positive outcome, so I’m going to suck it up. I can’t change it, might as well face it. I throw on clothes and walk back out to the hall where Trent is leaning against the wall.

“If you want to finish this conversation, you won’t be a jerk,” I warn as I walk by him, but he just watches me. When I open the door, Cooper stands there wearing a pair of jeans and worn T-shirt.

“Hey.” Cooper smiles.

“Hi,” I say as regret floods through me. I hate myself for this. I know he’ll play it cool, but I ended our date and then slept with my ex-boyfriend. I’m a horrible bitch. I deserve to die a lonely cow. “Listen, Coop,” I say as I put my hand on his arm and push us both outside. “Trent is here.”

I close the door so Trent won’t hear my conversation with Cooper. It’s bad enough they’re both here. The least I can do is try to make this less uncomfortable.

Cooper nods. “I saw his car.”

Right. Okay, and he still stopped by? I’m so confused, and the alcohol fog mixed with regret isn’t helping.

Cooper steps forward and puts his hand to my cheek. “You don’t look so good, you feelin’ okay? Are you sick?”

Does mentally unstable fall under that category? If so, I’m most definitely sick.

“No, I’m not feelin’ okay.”