Say I'm Yours Page 17
My voice is locked as he speaks. Inside me, a war is raging, and I’m dying. There are two parts of me that can’t find the common ground. Half of me wants to beg him to stay and love me. If he would try, I could help him. However, I’ve been there and done that already. I fought for years and ended up failing. There’s no way to help a man who doesn’t want to be saved. In the end, it was me who needed the lifeline. Seeing Trent’s regret and hearing the pain in his words is almost too much.
He touches my cheek and rubs his thumb across my lips. “Be happy, Gracie.”
I stand like a statue as he turns and walks away. Tears continue to fall and blur my vision as I watch Trent Hennington back out of my driveway and drive down the road. Minutes pass before I move.
He’s really gone.
That really happened.
How the hell am I supposed to go on a date now?
* * *
A fter I spent a good twenty minutes crying out all my emotions and eating half a bag of licorice, I decided to pick myself up and get myself together. The past is in the past, which includes him. There isn’t anything saying Cooper will be my future, but there isn’t anything saying he won’t, either.
Unfortunately, my composure is harder to keep than I thought, and I keep having to take deep breaths and little breaks to get myself under control.
It’s crazy how nervous I am. It isn’t like a blind date where I don’t already know the man. Hell, I’ve even seen his penis. Granted, it was when I was sixteen and solely due to a dare, but still.
My cheeks heat in the mirror as I remember in detail what it looked like. Dammit, now I’m going to end up embarrassing myself.
My mind continues down this very stupid road, and I wonder what he kisses like. What if he’s heavy on the tongue or our teeth clash? What if we are so incompatible that we sit in awkward silence? What if we like each other, and I somehow screw this up? These are all the reasons I thought this was a bad idea.
If I keep going at this rate, I’ll never be able to make it through tonight. I decide to lock my errant thoughts away and focus on getting ready.
Once I’m content with how I look, I head out to the living room. He should be here in a few minutes. I grab my phone and see a message from Presley.
Presley: Have fun tonight! I love you both and can’t wait to hear how it went.
Me: Love you! I’m sure we’ll talk tomorrow.
Knock, knock, knock.
Shit. Here we go.
Please, God, don’t let this be Trent.
I open the door to find Cooper standing there with a bouquet of flowers. His dark hair is spiked in the front going in no real style, his deep green eyes shimmer with warmth, and the way he fills out that tight gray T-shirt leaves very little to the imagination. Jesus. He gets better and better each time I see him.
“Hey.” I smile.
Cooper’s grin brightens. “These are for you.” He hands me the white daisies. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” I step back and swing my arm to the side so he can enter. I love that he brought me flowers. “This was really sweet. Let me go put them in water.”
I head back to the kitchen to place them in a vase, and I hear Cooper. “Your place looks great. I haven’t seen it since I carried the couch in.”
I laugh. “It’s been a long time, Coop. I’ve been living here for almost seven years.”
“Been that long, huh?”
“It has.” I come out with the flowers and place them on the table.
“Well, you’ve done a lot with the place.”
My house is perfect for me. I like working on projects and this place was the ultimate one. I’ve redone each room to be exactly like I wanted. A lot of tender love and care went into making it a home.
“Thank you. Do you want a tour?” I ask.
“Definitely.”
I take Cooper through each room, showing him all the work I’ve done. “This was the original flooring,” I explain.
“I could’ve used your help when I was fixin’ up the farmhouse.”
I duck my head at the compliment before looking back up. “I think you did a great job.”
He takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I don’t mind doing the work, it was all the other crap I hated.” Cooper steps closer and pushes the hair out of my eyes with his other hand. “If I had help, though, maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad.”
“I’ll make you a deal. If you remodel a house again, I’ll be happy to dictate what you should do.”
He moves in closer. My breathing is shallow as I feel the heat from his body so close to mine. Cooper’s eyes are warm and open and his hand rubs against my arm, leaving goose bumps in its wake. I dig my nails into my palm, hoping I can get my heart to slow.
Before I can move, Cooper takes a step back and I can breathe again. “You all right?” he asks.
“Yup. Totally fine. I’m good. I mean, I’m great. Perfect even.” I start to ramble and want to punch myself in the face.
Cooper’s lips turn up into a small smile. “Glad to hear it.”
I need to save myself from going down the rabbit hole of mortification.
“So, where are we goin’?”
It’s very out of character that I didn’t ask before, but I think I was trying not to think about it. I’m a planner, and I need to have everything in order. I don’t like feeling the way I have been all afternoon—out of control and very unstable. However, this is probably normal for a new . . . whatever this is.
“I figured maybe we’d head out of town for dinner? Or we can head to the café?” he offers.
“No!” The one word comes out too quickly and too loudly, and I press my lips together in embarrassment. “I mean, I think goin’ out of town is a good idea, don’t you?”
Could I be any more awkward?
Cooper nods. “I agree. I figure you’re probably feelin’ anxious enough, maybe being away from pryin’ eyes is a good thing.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
The less chances we have of running into everyone we know—the better. Especially any of the Hennington brothers. There’s no doubt Trent has already told his brothers what happened here earlier, and knowing their little posse, it isn’t good for me.
My next thought is: do I tell Cooper about Trent today? I don’t really need to? This is only a first date. However, nothing stays quiet in this damn town, so if Trent tells anyone, Cooper will find out. But does Cooper have a right to be upset? We’re not together. This is a friend date. That’s it.