So by the time I was ready for Luke, mentally and physically prepared to seek him out, I’d gone off men. I made a new vow that I was dedicated to just as much as fitness.

I was never going to get tangled up with a man again, no matter who, no matter what.

* * * * *

After Noah cleaned me out, Sissy and I went to Pandora’s Box on Broadway, I stocked up and got myself a rabbit vibrator and a smooth, sleek silver one (so I could have variety) and enough batteries to last a year. Once I got them home, out of their boxes and loaded up with batteries, I vowed ever-lasting fidelity to my vibrators.

That was that.

Seriously.

The end.

So there I was, now a dedicated, bitter spinster with revenge on my mind. Not revenge for myself but for Sissy and every other woman who’d been f**ked over by a shithead guy.

* * * * *

I stopped cleaving at the cucumber, tossed it into a bowl with the arugula I’d already nearly annihilated and had started on the onion when the phone rang.

I threw down the cleaver and picked up the phone.

“Yo,” I said.

“Yo, yourself,” Sissy said to me. “How’d it go with Luke?”

I could hear the anticipation in her voice. She thought he’d fall in love with me on sight and put a ring on my finger within the hour. She loved me and thought I was funny and cool, what could I say? It sucked to disappoint her.

“Not good, I didn’t ask him. I’m going it alone,” I tried to make it short and sweet.

Silence for a beat and then, “What do you mean, not good?”

“I mean, not good,” I decided maybe I shouldn’t tell her right now about how it actually went. She had enough on her plate and anyway, I wasn’t ready to relive it. “I think he’s kinda pissed that I didn’t return his calls after his father’s funeral.”

“You should have called him,” Sissy told me and she’d told me this before, like, five dozen times.

“Too late now. Anyway, we go ahead with the plan as it was, just without Luke. I’ll go to your house tonight.”

Sissy hesitated. “I’d be a lot more comfortable if you had Luke with you.”

“That isn’t gonna happen.”

“Okay, then maybe you can call Riley. I think he has a bit of a crush on you, now that you’re hot. Maybe he’ll go with you.”

The idea of Riley, who’d done a body fat test on me seventy-five pounds ago (and one just three weeks ago and about seventeen in between), having a crush on me made me burst out laughing.

“Riley does not have a crush on me,” I said when I quit laughing.

“Riley thinks you’re fine,” Sissy returned.

“Riley has a girlfriend with bleached teeth and a perma-tan,” I told her.

“He broke up with her ages ago. Anyway, you make Riley laugh, even when he’s holding your feet and you’re doing ab curls.”

“There’s nothing to laugh about when you’re doing ab curls.”

This was true, I hated ab curls. I hated exercise and I wasn’t that hot on cucumber, arugula, onion and Bulgar wheat tabouleh. I’d rather have a huge burrito with spiced meat, cheese, sour cream and guacamole and a humungous chocolate chip cookie but I hadn’t worked my ass off (literally) to go back now.

“Tell me about Luke,” Sissy changed the subject, knowing, after twenty-two years of being my best friend that I was holding out on her.

“Later.”

“Now.”

“Later, Sissy. It…” I stopped, then started again, “wasn’t good.”

“Was it bad?”

“No, it was just… weird.” Weird really wasn’t the word for it but I was going to go with that for now.

“Well,” she said, giving in and her voice had gone soft. “Then don’t worry about Dom. I’ll come home in a few days, we’ll do it together.”

“No!” I said, kind of loud. I didn’t want her to come back. I didn’t want Dom to talk her into taking him back. I wanted her clear of him. I wanted Sissy to come back to herself and for Dom to be out of her life, forever. “I’ll take care of it,” I finished.

“I don’t…”

“Sissy, I’ll take care of it.”

“I don’t like it. Dom’s not really a guy you mess with.”

“I won’t get caught.”

“Crap,” Sissy muttered, her second thoughts clear in her voice.

“I’ll be all right. I’ll go tonight, search the house. It’s his poker night, right?”

“Yeah,” I could tell she still didn’t like it. “Call me when you get home.”

“Okay.”

“Later, honey.”

“Later.”

I hung up, tossed the draining Bulgar wheat in with the other junk, chopped the onions, cried a little bit, threw them in too, mixed it up with a dash of olive oil, lemon juice and salt and pepper. I got out a fork, took a huge bite and said, mouth full, “Blech.”

It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t a burrito and a chocolate chip cookie either.

You know, you really should listen to Sissy, Good Ava said to me.

I think some breaking and entering will be fun! Bad Ava put in.

Shit.

* * * * *

I was about to head out for my evening’s festivities when the phone rang.

I’d put on dark jeans; a black stretchy, fitted, long-sleeved t-shirt; black flip-flops; and, of course, my silver. I should probably have left my silver out of the equation since it was glittery and would catch the light but I didn’t go anywhere without my silver. And anyway, I’d been to Dom and Sissy’s a gazillion times, all their neighbors knew me and wouldn’t blink an eye that I was there. Furthermore, I had a key (well, not really, but I knew where they hid the spare).I didn’t answer the phone. Night had fallen, it was getting late and Sissy told me that Dom’s return from the poker game was up in the air. If he was doing well, he stayed out late, if he was losing, he cut it short, came home and likely took his bad luck out on Sissy by saying shit to her that made her feel like dirt.

The answering machine kicked in as I grabbed my keys and bag.

“Hey, Ava? It’s Ally, long time no see or hear, chickie. You’ve been, like, Ms. Invisible and loads of shit has gone down,” pause, then, “I heard you were at my brother’s offices this afternoon and had a situation with Luke. Sister, what was that all about? I didn’t even know you knew Luke. Call me, pronto. I want the dirt, Indy wants the dirt, we all want the dirt. We’ll do drinks. Hornet, tomorrow night, seven o’clock. See you there.”