Crap!

This just keeps getting better all the time, Bad Ava took that opportunity to chime in.

Oo, puppies! I love puppies! Good Ava exclaimed.

“I’m good with dogs,” Sissy said.

“Right, let’s go,” Shirleen didn’t waste any time. She waved at Winnie and took off toward her Navigator. Everyone followed suit except I leaned over and gave Winnie a kiss on the cheek and Olivia gave her a big hug finished with a kiss on the top of her head.

“Be safe,” Winnie called after us as we walked through her yard.

“We goin’ to find Jeremiah after this dog business?” Olivia asked, following us.

“Yeah, after the mall,” I told her.

Daisy pulled up short and gave Olivia a look. “We good?”

Olivia shrugged. “I’m over it. The man took Big Momma’s money, she almost lost her house. Fuck that. This hunt takes priority.”

“I hear you,” Daisy said.

I could swear I heard Tex growling to the heavens.

“Can I ride with you?” Sissy asked Olivia. “I’m thinking, once I divorce my stupid, cheating husband, I’m going to get a Lexus. I’ve never been in one but they’re sweet. I’d like to experience the ride.”

“Get yo’ skinny white ass in there,” Olivia answered, which Sissy took as a yes.

Olivia, her posse and Sissy all scrunched into the Lexus, the rest of us shoved into the Navigator. Shirleen pulled out and Olivia tailed us.

“Let me get this straight,” Tex boomed from the passenger seat. “Now Dexter has got Lee and his boys, Ava and the girls, the Zano family and four crazy black women after him. Indy and Ally are at a prison on a fool’s errand ‘cause that boy ain’t gonna talk. Smithie’s pinned in a yard by dogs and after we do a dog rescue we’re goin’ to a lingerie department?”

“That’s right,” Daisy said.

He blew out a huge sigh. “Shee-it,” he muttered (but it still came out as a boom).

* * * * *

Shirleen hadn’t gotten the story exactly right.

Smithie wasn’t cornered by two German Shepherds. Smithie was treed by two German Shepherds.

By the time we got there Smithie was perched on a stout limb twelve feet up and the two dogs were at the trunk, snarling and barking so viciously, white slobber was lapping at their doggie lips.

Ee-yikes!

Sissy valiantly tried cooing at them, one of the dogs broke off still snarling and chased her to where we all were standing behind a ten-foot chain link fence at the side of the house. She rushed through the gate and Jet threw it closed behind her.

Luckily, the dog preferred Smithie-meat likely noticing that Sissy didn’t have as much juice on her bones and ran back to the tree.

“Motherfuckers!” Smithie yelled at us. “Do somethin’! I been up here an hour.”

“That isn’t true. He’s only been up there half an hour. Forty-five minutes, tops,” Stevie corrected.

“Anyone tried to stun gun the dogs?” Daisy asked.

“You wanna walk up to one of those dogs and stun gun it? I don’t think so,” Tod put in.

“We should have brought Tasers,” Roxie said.

“Indy and Ally have the Tasers,” Jet reminded her.

“Maybe we should call the fire department,” I suggested.

“You wanna explain to the fire department why a black man with no connection to the owners of this house is in their yard?” Duke asked.

“Why is he in the yard?” I asked Duke.

“Search me, I was down the block, not gettin’ shit about Dexter by the way, when I got the call from Roxie,” Duke answered.

“I think he said he heard something and thought the owners were back here. He came around to talk to them and got caught by the dogs. Though I can’t really be sure since he was yelling the story and cursing a lot while he told it so I didn’t follow,” Roxie put in.

“Why don’t we go buy a few steaks and bring them back? Lure the dogs away,” a voice said from behind us and my body got tense when I recognized it.

I turned stiffly to look, hoping that I was hearing things, and not the usual Good Ava and Bad Ava nonsense, not even caring that it would mean I had finally lost what was left of my mind and everyone turned with me.

Mrs. Stark and my Mom were standing behind our tribe. It had been Mrs. Stark with the steak idea.

For the second time that day, I had to ask, what… the… fuck?

“What are you doing here?” I screeched. Yes, I screeched, totally unable to control the shrill in my tone. I’d lost it, I was done. This was too much. I could take no more.

“Who are they?” one of Olivia’s girls (earlier she had been quickly introduced as Rhonda) asked.

“Hello. I’m Josie Stark, Luke’s Mom. And this is Christine Barlow, Ava’s Mom. Pleased to meet you,” Super Mom Stark came forward and started shaking hands and bestowing warm smiles on everyone as if she was at a church mixer.

Everyone shook her hand but they all continued to stare at her.

“You’re Luke’s Mom?” Shirleen asked, staring wide-eyed with wonder at Mrs. Stark.

I wasn’t surprised at her reaction. Luke seemed more the type to explode fully formed out of a pit of blistering lava, not spring from the loins of a woman with a conservative hairstyle, low-heeled, faultlessly-shined, bone-colored pumps and sporting a short-handled, matching-bone-colored purse two steps up from a granny bag.

“Sure am,” Mrs. Stark stated proudly.

“I love this!” Daisy squealed and then giggled her tinkly-bell giggle. Jet, Roxie and Shirleen were grinning at each other huge and I feared they were about to join in on the giggles.

“Um…” I cut in before hilarity could ensue. “Again, can I just ask, what are you doing here?”

Mom and Mrs. Stark were warily looking Tex top-to-toe, obviously not certain what to make of him.

Mom tore her eyes away from Tex first. “Well, Josie and I were talking. We’re both worried about you. So we sent Marilyn and Sofia to the mall and we decided to follow you, make sure you were okay.”

“What?” I asked, even though I heard her answer, I just didn’t want to believe it.

“I know it’s none of my business,” Mrs. Stark, obviously not hearing me or deciding not to answer, turned to Olivia. “But you’re a pretty girl. I like your lipstick. It’s the perfect color for you. You have a lovely grandma. A girl like you, well, she shouldn’t be out with a boy who has bounty hunters after him. I don’t know you but I’m a mother and I’m pretty good at sizing people up and, one look at you, I know you could do better.”