I spoke. “You gotta get out of town, Dad. This has got to stop. Mom’s in a safe house and I’m staying with Eddie because it’s too dangerous to be at home. Eddie’s sorting things out but the more trouble you cause, the harder that’s going to be for him. You have to go.”

I sounded calm, cool and col ected.

Inside, I was anything but. I wanted to start bawling. I wanted to stuff him in a car and go on the run with him. I wanted to get him to a Gambler’s Anonymous meeting. I wanted to put my arms around him and have him dance me around, singing Paul McCartney songs. I wanted to ask him why he left Mom, Lottie and me. I wanted to know why he was a bum.

Instead, I stood and stared at him.

“I’m gonna sort it out, Princess Jet. I’m workin’ on it.”

“You aren’t going to sort it out gambling and stealing.

Someone shot at me and someone else wants to rape me.” His lips pressed together.

“That’s not gonna happen, Jet, I’ve got my eye out for Fratel i.”

“Yeah, right,” Lottie mumbled.

I looked over my shoulder at her. She was standing, one foot out, arms crossed on her chest, face angry. The rest of the posse stood behind Lottie, their eyes not on Dad, but on me. Tod gave me an encouraging smile and winked.

I looked back to Dad and saw him try his smooth-it-over smile.

“You girls gotta give me some time. I’l hit it big and I’l take you to the French Riviera.”

Without hesitation, Lottie said, “We’ve heard that before.”

She was right, we had. We’d heard it a lot. I’d just never known what he thought he was going to hit big.

Dad’s face got tight and he threw Lottie an angry look.

“Dad… ” I started.

“Give me time!” he yel ed and both of us jumped.

Dad was a good ole boy, he didn’t yel . Ever.

“I’l sort it out,” he went on, his face getting red. “You don’t know, you don’t f**kin’ get it. I’m gonna come back, but only when I hit it big. Only when you girls and Nancy can be proud of me, when we can live large, like you deserve.” His words hit me like he was pelting me with rocks.

I mean real y, was he crazy? What kind of f**king nonsense was he on about?

I put both hands on my h*ps and leaned forward.

“It’s too late! The time to do that was fourteen years ago.

You’ve been gone half my life!” I shouted, “We’ve moved on. It’s over! You’ve got to get out of town, Dad, and stay gone. For your own good, but especial y for ours.” He flinched like I’d hit him.

“You don’t mean that Princess Jet.”

I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean a word of it. I wanted him to come back, I wanted to live large with Mom and Lottie and Dad al together again.

But that was a dream and I knew dreams didn’t come true.

Dad taught me that.

I didn’t get time to go back on what I said, soften the blow or finish my point.

It was at that moment, I found out what war felt like.

* * * * *

Looking back, it was surprisingly clear, every bit of it. You would think that in the middle of bedlam you would lose track, but I remembered every moment in a way I knew I’d never forget.

There was the time when it was just me, Dad, Lottie and the gang standing in the smoky room, Shirleen had closed the door on us.

Then the door was opened and Slick was there, Slick and his friends. Slick had apparently gone to ground and gathered reinforcements; too many, too much for al of us.

He’d also decided that tactical y a knife was not the chosen weapon, he went with guns.

Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, Dad had decided to arm himself as well .

Eddie was right. The stun gun in my purse wasn’t shit when bul ets started flying. It wasn’t like the movies, there were no clever comments to give you the chance to prepare. Slick was done f**king around and that was that.

They fired upon entry and Dad yanked his gun out of his waistband and randomly returned fire shouting, “Girls, get down!”

I threw myself at Lottie and we both went down. I rol ed away from the legs charging in the door, taking her with me.

We ended faced down and started to crawl, low on our bel ies, Lottie moving underneath me. I held most of my body over her.

There was more gunfire, a lot of it, too much. It was so loud it rang in my ears and I could smel the gun powder up my nose.

Then I heard shouts, screams, running footsteps, thuds of flesh against flesh. I saw Lee, running low, snatching up Indy on the go as if she weighed no more than a feather. He turned and they vanished.

I saw Matt, crouched low with Daisy in a fireman’s hold over his shoulder. Then, quick as a flash, they disappeared around the corner of the door.

Then a hand wrapped around my ankle and I was pul ed back, my arms let go of Lottie and I rol ed, thinking Mace had got to me but it wasn’t Mace, it was Vince.

Just my f**king luck.

He pul ed me to my feet, an arm around my waist and started running, me tucked under his arm. I noticed he jumped over a prone Shirleen, lying on her side in the hal .

Fuck!

I didn’t let the surprise at seeing him get to me and I didn’t let my worry for Shirleen break my focus.

This was about life, death and rape. I wanted no part of the second two and the first one was just getting interesting and I wasn’t about to let it go.

I twisted, struggled and screamed at the top of my lungs.

That’s when Mace arrived.

I saw him, Vince saw him and Vince stopped. He jerked me upright and pul ed me back against his body, an arm around my rib cage.

“Not another step,” Vince said and I felt the cold against my temple.

Mace froze.

Mace was carrying a gun, held up and pointed at us, left hand to his right wrist, head cocked to the sight of the gun but his eyes shifted to my temple.

My eyes slid there too.

I could see Vince’s gun held to my head.

Wonderful.

Now, at this juncture I had two choices. I could get dragged out of there and hope someone found me and took care of Vince before I got raped and possibly kil ed.

Or I could fight, maybe get kil ed but at least I wouldn’t spend the last hours of my life being scared out of my mind and violated.

No choice, real y.

I brought my head forward, then back with a vicious snap. I cracked my skul against Vince’s chin and for some reason, it didn’t hurt.

The gun fired and I felt the burning pain at my temple.

Now that hurt.

I thought surely I was dead, but my limbs were stil taking orders from a brain that was stil working and positioned in my skul and I noticed Mace move, fast as lightning.