Usual y I tried not to say the f-word but some occasions demanded it. This was one of those occasions because I’d never have the courage to tel Eddie what I real y meant and now he thought I was a racist.

Indy walked in, looking worried.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, looked over her shoulder, then back at me. “Eddie just took off out the backdoor looking like he was going to commit murder.

What happened? Are you al right?”

Luckily, I stil had my purse over my shoulder, the television was in the back room (and so was everyone else) and there was a direct shot out the front door.

“Gotta go,” I said, with no explanation.

I went out the door.

The minute it closed behind me, I ran.

Chapter Two

The Truth Comes Out

(Well, part of it anyway)

I was entertaining the notion (or more like hoping) that the whole idiot episode with me sounding like a racist to Eddie would stay under wraps. Eddie didn’t seem like the kind of guy who shared, but I was wrong.

The minute I entered Fortnum’s on Monday morning, I saw the looks from Indy, Al y and Tex and I felt the frosty air.

By the time the morning crush was over, I knew my hopes were dead and I had new hopes that it would al blow over.

I was wrong about that too.

As soon as there were no customers at the espresso counter, Indy turned to me.

“I can’t fire you, you know, for what you are. But I have a real problem with someone like you working for me,” she said.

My heart sank.

“Me too, f**kin’ can’t stand racists, even ones that make good brownies,” Tex put in.

Al y just glared at me.

“I’m not a racist,” I said, feeling like crying.

“Sure, you just have a problem with that… kind,” Al y entered the conversation.

My heart sank further at the same time my gut twisted.

“Lee caught up with Eddie last night,” Indy explained.

“Eddie told Lee everything.”

“It isn’t like that,” I said.

“You can work here until you find another job.” Indy was done with me and turning away.

“Real y, it isn’t like that,” I said, getting desperate because I needed that job, it was a great job, I didn’t have time to look for another one and I liked them. They were fun.

If I wasn’t so exhausted al the time and working sixteen-hour days, I would have been having the time of my life. I didn’t want them to think I was a racist. That would seriously suck.

“I don’t wanna know what it’s like,” Indy said, moving away from the counter

Tex was staring at me, “I wanna know.”

“I’m not sure what to say.” Indy ignored Tex and turned back to me, “You always took off when he was around but I thought… forget it. Never mind.”

“I stil wanna know,” Tex said.

“It’s hard to explain,” I put in.

“I’l bet it is,” Al y said.

I closed my eyes and I was pretty sure I was gonna throw up.

Then Indy said to me, “He’s a good guy you know. His family has been in this country for three generations. He’s as American as you and me. His grandmother is even Irish Catholic, for God’s sake!” she ended up shouting.

I winced, like she’d hit me.

“You don’t have to tel me that. I don’t care if he’s only just come over the border!” I was getting kind of panicky.

Al y made a noise that sounded kinda like a snort, an angry snort.

“No, that didn’t sound right. You don’t understand,” I said.

“No. I don’t understand,” Indy said, leaning into me.

I tried to explain, “I just have a problem with his kind, his type. I always have. It isn’t only him, I have a problem with Lee’s guy, you know, the Native American one, Vance.” Indy looked like her head would explode.

Indy looked like her head would explode.

“No!” I yel ed, “That didn’t sound right either. I have kind of a problem with Lee, and Hank too!”

“What the f**k’s the matter with you!” Al y yel ed.

“It isn’t their ancestry. It’s that they’re hot!” I shouted.

Everyone went silent and stared at me.

I felt like an idiot, but I had to keep going.

“They’re hot, Eddie especial y. I get stupid and shy around good looking guys. I always did. Nothing I ever do is right, nothing I ever say. I try to avoid them; I found it’s the best way. The thing is, Eddie and I got caught alone in the kitchen and he was being kinda weird with me. I started panicking and I tried to explain that he was hot but it came out al wrong, ‘cause how do you tel a guy he’s hot? He got the wrong idea, got mad and left, and… um, that’s it.”

“Are you f**kin’ shittin’ me?” Tex said.

I shook my head and bit my lip.

“You like him,” Indy said. She wasn’t looking at me like she wanted to strangle me anymore, which I took as a good sign.

“Wel … ” I said, “… yeah.”

Liked him, no. Loved him and wanted to have his babies, um, shit yeah.

Indy smiled. “I knew it!” she yel ed. “That’s great! You have to tel him, I think he—”

“No!” I shouted, “No, I can’t tel him, you can’t tel him either.”

Al y came around by Indy; she was smiling too, “You have to tel him.”

“I’m not going to tel him. No one can tel him.”

“No one can tel who what?”

The voice came from behind us. It was Lee. He was looking at me like I’d crawled out from under a rock.

“Jet’s not a racist, she’s got a big ole crush on Eddie,” Indy announced, al smiles.

I closed my eyes and I felt my face heat up.

When I opened my eyes, Lee was looking at me.

“Strange way of showin’ it,” he said.

“She’s f**kin’ shy. Gets tongue-tied. Says stupid shit,” Tex summed it up quickly.

“Please, can we stop talking about this?” I asked.

“No way!” Al y said, “I’ve been watching Eddie with you and I’m pretty certain—”

“Al y,” Lee cut her off.

“Please!” I cried. “Can we stop talking about this and you al have to promise not to say anything to Eddie.”

“You want him to think you’re a racist?” Indy stared at me like I just beamed down from Mars.