“All right,” I responded, making my slow way toward Hector who was waiting for me, holding open the door.

“Noon,” Shirleen repeated to my back.

That back went straight, my head whipped around and, for the sake of my pride, I snapped, “All right!”

This, for some bizarre reason, made Shirleen grin.

“Well, all right,” she muttered through her grin.

Blooming heck!

Why was my life so difficult?

Chapter Sixteen

Uglier and Uglier

Sadie

“Have a seat, Sadie,” Tom said on a welcoming smile when I entered Lee Nightingale’s office for the second time in my life.

They were all there, Tom, Eddie, Lee, Hank and Vance. They were all standing and they were all looking at me with carefully closed faces.

Oh boy.

Time for Pretend Sadie.

I stopped by one of the chairs in front of Lee’s desk and I felt Hector close behind me. I took a deep breath, did a group scan, playing it safe, beginning the game and allowing myself a small, friendly smile.

Then I looked at Lee and announced, “I’ve changed my mind.”

Lee’s brows went up.

I continued, “See, I figure you won’t let me pay you and that isn’t fair. You and Hector and everyone are doing so much for me, I can’t ask you to do more.”

Lee smiled and I found myself momentarily taken out of my role and staring (he really had a nice smile).

Then he started talking. “Sadie, the Rock Chicks are a permanent red line item on my budget. They have been for months. We’re used to takin’ this kind of hit.”

I had to admit, I hadn’t prepared for that either, especially his assumption that I was a Rock Chick.

His assumption gave me one of those weird, happy glows, the kind I couldn’t allow myself to feel or all would be lost.

Oh well, I had to power through.

“Even so, I think I’d prefer to hire someone else. This is making me uncomfortable,” I replied what I thought was nicely but firmly. “So, if you have a recommendation for another PI, I’ll give them a call.”

Immediately I saw that my nice but firm didn’t work.

Instead, Lee shook his head (still smiling) and Hector’s hands came to my shoulders.

“Sadie, sit down,” Hector said softly in my ear.

I twisted to look at him. “No, really, I –”

“Sit,” he interrupted.

Sweet, Pretend, Guarding-Her-Heart Sadie slipped and I glared at him.

My glare deflected off his Cool, Collected, Macho Man Shields and pinged around the room, unnoticed by anyone.

“Sadie, honey,” Tom said, I turned to him and saw he had his hand held out to me. “Come and sit.”

Not wanting to be a bitch because Pretend Sadie was not a bitch and anyway, he’d called me “honey” and that was so nice, the weird, happy glow I was trying to ignore came back against my will, I walked to him, put my hand in his and we both sat, facing each other.

“I need to tell you something,” Tom informed me, keeping hold of my hand.

The weird, happy glow vanished.

Oh no.

I didn’t like the look on his face and I didn’t like that he felt he needed to keep holding my hand.

Furthermore, Pretend Sadie didn’t like the vibe in the room at all and she wanted to run.

However, Ice Princess Sadie never ran. Ice Princess locked firm hands on Pretend Sadie’s arms and held her in place.

With Ice Princess in control, I felt it safe to say to Tom, “Okay.”

He squeezed my hand then he took a deep breath and launched in.

“Eighteen years ago, your Mom came to me,” Tom started.

I blinked and then stilled, knowing intuitively (from years of practice) that this innocuous statement was going to get worse.

Way worse.

I wasn’t wrong.

Tom continued, “Lizzie knew what your father did and she didn’t like it. She didn’t want you growing up in that life. She also saw your future and she didn’t like that either. She wanted to get you, and herself, out. She told me the only way to do that was to put your father in jail. She told me that she couldn’t run, taking you with her because he’d never let either of you go. She knew this because she tried on several occasions but he always found you both and brought you back.”

I pulled in my lips and I felt myself starting to breathe heavier, my heart beginning to hammer in my chest, something hot and hard forming there.

My Mom had tried to escape.

She’d tried to escape!

And she wanted to take me with her!

Oh my God!

I couldn’t believe it!

Tom went on, cutting into my fevered thoughts, “She wanted to inform on your Dad, to give me what I needed to take him down. I tried to talk her out of it. Your father wasn’t as powerful then as he was when Hector got him. But he’d done well, he was top man for Luther Diggs and what she wanted to do was dangerous.”

I couldn’t believe this either.

My sweet, quiet Mom an informant?

Impossible!

And I remembered Luther; he’d been around a lot back then. I also remembered never liking Luther, as in never. Luther was my first lesson in how to spot bad people because, in Luther’s case, he was very bad people. He reeked of it. Luther had always scared me.

I was glad when Luther went away about a year after my Mom disappeared. What I wasn’t glad about was knowing, even at twelve, that my father had assumed Luther’s elevated place in the crime world.

Tom kept talking, “She wouldn’t be swayed, even Kitty Sue tried to talk her out of it but Lizzie was determined. She said if she didn’t work with me, she’d go to someone else. I thought, if she had to do it, it was better if she worked with me. I thought that I could keep her safe –”

He stopped talking, his eyes closed tight and he looked away but not before I caught the pain that slashed through his gaze.

My heart was in my throat, clogging it, that hot, hard thing in my chest started burning.

I knew where this was going and I didn’t like it.

Not one bit.

But, for some reason, I still squeezed his hand and kept squeezing it until his eyes opened and came to me again.

“Go on,” I encouraged softly.

He stared at me a second then took in another deep breath. “At first, she couldn’t get me anything I could use. When she saw it wasn’t working, she started taking risks.”

I felt the tears hit the backs of my eyes at the thought of my Mom doing the same thing I did with Hector. I knew how scary it was and I knew the consequences and knowing now that she took the same risks, felt the same fear, all of it for me, made the burning in my chest intensify.