There. I did it. It was hard but I kept my cool. I made sense. I didn’t get emotional.

I wanted to get emotional. Actually, truth be told, I wanted him to kiss me again. I wanted him to hold me in his lap and feel snug and secure and feel his heat hit me. I wanted to have dinner at his mother’s house again. I wanted to do the dishes and laugh in the kitchen with Jet and Indy again. I wanted Lee to tease me again.

But I knew I couldn’t have those things.

I could accept genuine friendship from Buddy and Ralphie because, well… I didn’t know why. Maybe because, when something happened (and it would) and I lost them, I would just lose two people and I’d lost more than that in my life. I’d come to love them enough and feel strong enough to ride that wave… until it ended.

If I accepted whatever it was that Hector was offering me, there was a whole gaggle of people I would lose.

Really, there was only so much a girl could take.

And my father always told me to play to your strengths but more importantly, know your limitations. And I knew my limitations.

“Is that what you reserved the right to say?” Hector asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I nodded and pulled away.

However, it must be noted, I didn’t actually get away. He leaned into me and one of his arms wrapped around my waist, the other hand slid up my back, along my neck and went into my hair.

I was getting the distinct impression that I should start girding again.

“All right, now I’ll say what I gotta say,” Hector announced.

Oh my.

I should have girded.

Again, I didn’t expect him to have a response. I thought he’d just agree, leave and then well… that would be that.

He didn’t agree. And before I could stop him, he started talking. And what he said robbed me of the ability to do anything but stand, pressed against him and stare.

“You got cameras in your gallery, the front and back entrances, your back office and the store. You got more cameras on this brownstone, front and back entrances. Your car has a tracking device. So does your purse. Your alarm has been rewired to send a simultaneous alert to the control room if someone breaches the system. All that shit is monitored in the control room at Nightingale Investigations offices.”

See what I mean? Nothing to do but stare.

Hector kept talking.

“I know you know we’ve been watching the house. We meant to be visible and didn’t try to hide. Point of that was to show the Balduccis this was not a safe place for them to get at you and to show them, straight out, you’re protected. The minute Ralphie took off and left you alone in your gallery, Monty, who manages surveillance, saw you alone and put the call out. No one was close enough to get to you quickly but Lee knew Marcus was. Lee called Marcus, Marcus dropped everything, walked out of a meeting, went to the gallery and stayed until Ralphie came back.”

Oh… my… God.

I knew there was something weird about Marcus being there!

“Ally planted the tracking device in your purse when they visited your gallery. Lee heard that the girls had planned to go there to meet you and see if you were okay. He took Ally aside, gave her the device, told her what to do. Shirleen’s assignment was to divert your attention. While you were watching Shirleen, Ally grabbed one of your lipsticks and planted the device in the cap.”

I could not believe this. Mainly, because it was unbelievable.

And Ally sounded like she was a little bit like Veronica Mars!

“We’ve been tracking you, watching you and protecting you since you left the f**kin’ hospital,” Hector said. “As for me, obviously you haven’t cottoned onto the situation but, bottom line, I’m gonna do whatever it is I gotta do to make you safe. Which means something has to give with the Balduccis. They don’t get to pick how it’s gonna give, I’ve already decided. They f**k up along the way, like Harvey did last night, then I’ll take advantage. We’re working with Marcus and the Zanos –”

“The Zanos?” I breathed, interrupting him for the first time, too shocked by this news to stay silent.

Vito Zano was a friend of my father’s. I didn’t know if he was dirty or not but he was funny and I liked him. Ren Zano, his nephew, was very good-looking and very nice (and I didn’t know if he was dirty or not either). I always had a bit of a crush on Ren but, per usual, I didn’t let it show.

That was, of course, I had a bit of a crush on Ren until Hector came along.

“The Zanos,” Hector affirmed then went on. “You press charges against Ricky and Harvey, after what Ricky did to you, he goes away a long time. This would be strike three for Harvey since he isn’t the smartest of the bunch and has been caught before. He goes in again, no one would see him for awhile. Marty and Donny aren’t so dumb as Harvey. They’re just crazy. Ricky goes down, my guess, Marty assumes the throne but Donny’ll give him trouble. The Ricky-Marty-Donny rivalry is lore and you’re caught up in that so they have to go down too. I’m workin’ on it so is Lee, Marcus, Vito and Ren. It’d help if Ricky and Harvey were out of commission, which means –”

Finally I stopped him. “It means I’d have to see Ricky again.”

He kept silent. I closed my eyes. Then I clenched my teeth.

Then I opened my eyes and, do not ask me why, I shared.

“I can’t, Hector.” It came out as a whisper. “I want to press charges but I can’t.”

He let me go, his heat left me and a burst of cold hit me, shaking me out of the stupor induced by all he’d said, all he’d done, all that everyone had done.

But he didn’t go to the window again. He took my hand and walked me to the couch.

Then (no kidding) before I knew what he was up to, he sat down, his hands went to my waist, he pulled me into his lap and his arms went around me.

Then he said softly, “You can do it Sadie, I know you can.”

He was wrong.

I shook my head. “I can’t.”

“You fed me information on your father.”

“I know.”

“You risked your life to help that investigation.”

“I know.”

“How can you do that and not do this?”

I shook my head again. “I don’t know.” And I didn’t.

Hector stared at me and I looked at him.

Then I had to say something just so he wouldn’t think I was an utter coward.

“I’m not a total wimp,” I assured him, trying to shake the uneasy feelings beginning to crawl along my skin that I was talking about this with Hector of all people. “I have a plan. See, if I don’t press charges –”