Sharon got to her feet and put the folder she had been holding back into her bag. Her colleague, who hadn’t said a word, slipped out into the hallway. Sharon looked down at Dania, who was still crying.

“I know this is difficult for her. But she has to think long and hard about what she’s going to do from here. She has the opportunity to turn this around. The department will work to provide her with the resources she needs to get counseling and parenting support. She may even be able to visit Brandon. And maybe, down the road, she will have a chance to raise him herself.” Sharon’s face softened a bit and I knew she wasn’t a bad person. Just someone working a sad and depressing job.

“Will you make sure she’s at her hearing on Friday?” she asked me.

I nodded. “I’ll try,” I said.

Sharon nodded and gave me a small smile. “Okay then, please let Dania know we’ll be in touch,” she said before walking out of the room.

I turned back to Dania. She had stopped sobbing and was now staring at the ceiling.

I walked over to her and took the paperwork from her hands. It was a legal document detailing the Department of Health and Human Resources’ emergency custody of Brandon. It was stated that it was granted on the grounds of child endangerment and abuse and neglect at the hands of his biological mother, Dania Blevins. It listed her court hearing on Friday.

“Dania, are you okay?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.

She just shook her head, the tears starting up again.

“He’s gone. I’ve lost him,” she mumbled.

“But the CPS lady said you can work on getting him back. You can visit him,” I reasoned.

Dania would only shake her head. “He’s gone,” she said again.

I sat down in the chair that Sharon, the CPS worker, had vacated only minutes before. I held Dania’s hand while she cried, not sure what else I could do to help her.

30

-Ellie-

Dania stayed in the hospital for another two days. Dr. Ball informed me that Dania shouldn’t be on her own when she was released in part due to her C-section recovery time. But he was concerned about her apparent post-partum depression.

Dr. Ball didn’t think that she should be on her own given the trauma she had experienced. I agreed and arrangements were made for her to come home with me. It would be a tight fit in my cramped apartment, but I would make it work.

After being visited by the CPS workers, Dania refused to talk about Brandon again. Even after her discharge from the hospital and resuming of semi-normal life she wouldn’t talk about it or the possibility of seeing him.

She refused to attend her hearing and made no effort to follow the service plan she had been served with. Visitation was contingent on her following the mandates set by the Department of Health and Human Resources. But she wouldn’t even open the envelope when it came in the mail. It was as though she had washed her hands of the situation.

There were days I became so angry with her for giving up on her baby that I had to take a drive so I could get away from her. Otherwise I knew that I would say something that would hurt both of us.

None of our friends had come by to see her. After I had gotten her settled into my apartment, I had tried calling Reggie and Shane but neither answered the phone or returned my calls. I was being avoided. That was obvious.

I was standing in line at the grocery store, having picked up a deli sandwich and some potato chips to take home for Dania, who was still not eating regularly unless forced. I realized that Stu was standing several people ahead of me in line, two large cases of cheap beer under his arms.

“Stu!” I called out. He looked over at me and gave me a barely noticeable incline of his head before turning back to the cashier and handing her some cash. Without saying a word, he headed out of the store. I dropped my stuff and rushed after him.

“Wait, Stu! Hold up!” I called out. Stu stopped but didn’t bother to turn around.

I was wheezing by the time I caught up with him. “Hey, Ellie,” he said, dropping his sunglasses down over his eyes. He looked put out, as if I were keeping him from something.

“Where you headed?” I asked, looking pointedly at the beer.

“A bunch of us are hanging out at Shane’s house watching football. You wanna come over?” he asked.

“Uh no, I’m heading home. You know Dania’s living with me now,” I said, raising my eyebrows, hoping he’d get the hint.

“Oh, okay. Well I’ll see ya around,” he said and started to walk around me to get to his truck.

“Hang on a second!” I hollered. Stu looked back and this time he looked really annoyed.

“It would be really cool if you came by to see Dania. I know she’d like that. Weren’t you guys together again?” I asked incredulously. I knew the people I had hung out with for the last ten years were selfish ass**les. I guess I just never realized exactly how much.

I honestly thought that Stu would have been by to see Dania, considering their history. Even if I had always suspected he was missing a few key emotional components, I thought he’d make some sort of effort.

I had been very, very wrong.

“Why? So she can scream at me again? So she can flip the f**k out? I’ve had it with Dania’s drama. It ain’t even my kid,” he said dismissively.

“But, you’ve known Dania for almost ten years!” I argued, getting angry. “I knew you were always a dick, but I thought just maybe you’d be less dickish for Dania’s sake. She could really use her friends right now,” I said, trying to suppress the urge to inflict bodily harm.