Another rocket shot up, this one exploding with a mighty flash and a bang. It wasn’t dark yet, but the light was fading enough for it to mess with my vision. When I stopped blinking from the bright light, I saw Ruger watching me from across the courtyard.

“There he is,” I muttered to Maggs. “I haven’t seen him since we had our little blowup. You think I should go over?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Gotta face him sooner or later. Remember what we talked about—you lay it out, and if he won’t play, leave. You’ve got choices. Always.”

CHAPTER NINE

Ruger’s face was completely unreadable as I approached, and for one horrible moment I thought he might not talk to me.

“Hey,” I said, feeling nervous. Seeing him should’ve pissed me off or maybe even scared me. My body didn’t get the memo, though, because standing close to him mostly turned me on. I think his scent was a big part of it—nothing got to me like that hint of sweat and gun oil. He’d taken off his shirt, leaving only jeans, boots, and his cut. His tan told me he’d spent a lot of the summer that way.

Then I caught a glimpse of that panther tat disappearing down into his pants and I shit you not, it made me feel a little light-headed. All that blood rushing downward, you know?

“Hey,” he said. I tilted my head up to look at his face, reminded once again just how much physically larger he was than me. “So, we gonna f**k around here or just get to the point?”

“Um … Not quite sure I follow,” I admitted, still off balance. What woman would seriously be able to pay attention, confronted with a body like that? Ruger grunted, exasperated.

“You gonna follow my rules tonight?” he asked. “If not, you need to get your ass in your car and leave.”

“I’ll follow the rules,” I said slowly, eyes catching on his chin. He hadn’t shaved that morning, leaving just enough stubble to make a light burn on a girl’s skin. “On one condition.”

He raised a brow, clearly skeptical.

“And what would that be?”

“You tell me why you’re being so controlling,” I said, laying it out. The girls had been right. Either he was with me or he wasn’t, but one way or another I’d be taking charge of the situation. “Is it because you’re jealous and you want me to yourself, or because the Reapers are too dangerous?”

He studied me for a moment, his face thoughtful. Then he seemed to come to some sort of decision.

“C’mon,” he told me, and it wasn’t an invitation. He grabbed my hand and dragged me almost roughly across the courtyard, toward the large shop built against the back wall. Enclosed on three sides, the front was open to the elements, almost like a supersized carport.

Inside the air was much cooler, and it gave a sense of privacy. One half of the building held bikes in varying states of repair, including several that seemed to be little more than frames. Counters lined the back, and every tool imaginable hung from the walls. There were also some larger pieces of power equipment, including a huge drill press, a grinding wheel, and others I couldn’t begin to identify. A track had been mounted on the ceiling, with a rolling hoist hanging from it.

Filling the other side of the building were a panel truck and an old cargo van. The counters extended into that area, along with hooks for more tools. Ruger tugged me over between the van and the far wall. Despite the fact that the party continued a couple hundred feet away, we felt totally isolated. I thought about the warning I’d been given not to go off anywhere.

Did that apply to Ruger, too?

My gut instinct said I wasn’t safe with him right now … Not physically unsafe, of course. He’d never hit me. But I was pretty damned sure I’d be sorry I’d come in here with him.

Not that he’d given me much of a choice.

Ruger raised his hands, framing my face and studying me closely. He licked his lips, drawing my eyes to that ring of his once more as he stepped forward into my space, pushing me toward the van. It threw me off balance, and I stumbled. Ruger reached down and grabbed my ass, boosting me up and bracing me against the vehicle, my sex pressed to his, my br**sts flat against his chest. I reached around his neck and my legs gripped his waist for balance.

“You really want me to answer your question?” Ruger asked, his voice low and matter-of-fact. “Or you want to leave the party while you still can?”

I should leave.

I knew that. But his c**k was already hard against me and every bit of blood in my body raced downward, away from my brain. Self-preservation gave way to raw lust.

“I want the answer,” I whispered. Ruger smiled, and it wasn’t a nice smile. It was hungry as hell and utterly merciless, just like him.

“I’m jealous as f**k,” he said, his voice rough. “That’s not really my thing, but it’s the truth. I don’t much like the idea of some other man touchin’ your sweet ass, and if one of them tries to stick his c**k into that pretty little cunt of yours, I’m gonna cut it off. And, Soph?”

I caught my breath.

“Yes?” I answered, a thousand thoughts running through my brain. How did I feel about this? What should I say? The girls told me to lay down the law and stick to my guns. The look in Ruger’s eyes, though … That wasn’t the face of a man who was interested in respecting my limits.

Who was I kidding? I couldn’t even remember what those limits were supposed to be right now.

“I’m dead serious,” he continued, leaning his head down, scenting me. I felt it like a bolt of electricity, all the way through my body, right down to my toes. “Another man touches you, I’ll cut off his c**k and feed it to him. That’s not a threat, that’s a promise. And you f**k someone? He’s dead, Soph. Four years ago I made two serious mistakes. I didn’t protect you from Zach—I’ll regret that every day for the rest of my life. And then, because I felt guilty as f**k, I did the right thing and let you go.”

I closed my eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“News flash, Soph,” he whispered. “It’s about f**kin’ time we talked about it, because it’s hanging between us and I’m tired of pretending it didn’t happen.”

I started squirming, trying to twist free. Everything in me screamed to run, because he was about to take us to the bad place.

“Stop,” Ruger ordered, his voice harsh. I kept squirming, so he pushed into me harder, forcing me to still. “We’re gonna deal with it, Soph. Deal and move on, because things are gonna change for you now. My mistake wasn’t touching you that night, and it sure as shit wasn’t making you come. The mistake was doing it without taking out Zach first. If I’d known … why didn’t you tell me?”

“I really, really don’t want to talk about this,” I hissed, trying to ignore his soft breath in my ear, the hard length of his c**k pushing against me. My ni**les were tight and my entire body screamed for me to open to him, but deep inside my brain lurked a cloud of darkness and fear that threatened to tear free with every word.

“I should’ve killed him for what he did to you,” Ruger said, eyes full of frustrated regret. “But then he was in jail and I didn’t want to do that to Mom, so I let him live. You left and I’ve hated myself ever since. I can’t go back in time, but I sure as f**k won’t make the same mistake twice. This time you’re not gettin’ away, Soph.”

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my hormones enough to think. Then it hit me. I should tell him the truth. If that wasn’t enough to convince him this was a lost cause, nothing would.

“It’s my fault,” I said, the familiar wave of self-disgust washing over me.

“Honey, Zach beatin’ the shit out of you was not your fault,” Ruger said, his voice like ice.

“No,” I said, looking him right in the eye. “It was my fault, Ruger. I planned it. When you starting kissing me—touching me—I knew Zach was coming over. He’d texted me, wanted to make sure I had food ready when he got there. I knew he’d catch us. He was so jealous of you, Ruger. Drove him crazy. I knew if he caught us together, he’d lose it. I wanted him to hit me hard, because then I could make it end.”

Ruger inhaled sharply.

“What the f**k are you talking about?”

“Zach had to leave bruises,” I whispered. “I was so scared all the time, Ruger. I never knew what he’d do. Some days he was great and things were fine, like they were before Noah. Then I’d drop my guard and he’d turn on me. I tried calling the cops, but he never left marks, so they wouldn’t do anything. He told me he’d kill me if I left him.”

Ruger took a deep, ragged breath and his eyes went dark.

“When you came over that day, I saw my chance,” I admitted, disgusted with myself. “This tension—lust, whatever the hell you want to call it—it was between us by then. I felt it every time I saw you. And you were so good with Noah, always coming around, fixing my car or mowing the yard for us. I’d bring you a drink and you’d look at me like you wanted to throw me down on the ground and f**k me until I screamed. You know what? I wanted you to do it. So I let it happen.”

Ruger gave a dark, harsh laugh that had nothing to do with humor.

“Yeah, babe, I remember that part,” he said. “Although we never did get to my happy ending, what with Zach comin’ home. You seriously telling me that was planned?”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my eyes filling with tears. “I knew seeing us together would drive him crazy. I knew he’d lose it. Noah was safe at your mom’s house. So I let him catch us and have his little pissing match with you. He took off, you took off, and I waited for him to come back and punish me, like always. But this time he was finally worked up enough to leave evidence—I made damned sure of it. I told him how much better you were than him. I told him I’d been f**king you all along. For a while I thought he might kill me, and you know what? It would’ve been worth it, just to make it end. You know the rest. He got arrested, I got my restraining order, and me and Noah were finally free.”

Rugers eyes narrowed as emotion rippled across his face. Anger. Outrage. Disgust? For a second I thought he might actually hurt me, he seemed so angry.

No, I realized. That was the difference between Ruger and Zach. Both men had tempers, but Ruger? Ruger would never hurt me.

Never. No matter what.

“He beat the shit out of you,” he whispered. “You almost died, Soph. Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve f**king killed him for you. You didn’t have to let it get that bad. You should’ve told me the first time he hurt you. I can’t believe this was happening and I was too f**kin’ stupid to see it.”

“Because he’s your brother!” I said to him, tears running down my face. “Your mother loved him, Ruger. What he did to me almost destroyed her. If you’d lost it, if you’d gone after him, you’d be in jail right now and your mom would’ve died alone and miserable. What kind of hateful bitch would I be if I let that happen?”

“You could’ve gone to one of those places for women,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t get it, Sophie.”

I gave a harsh laugh.

“Damned straight you don’t get it—it was his word against mine,” I said, willing him to understand. “I had no evidence, nothing. Sure, I could go to a shelter, but he’d still have a right to visit with Noah, maybe fight me for custody. You think I’d risk my baby alone with Zach? Nobody could help me until he took it up a notch, so I made it happen. I’m not an idiot. A woman who’s being controlled by a man can’t get shit for help unless she’s got evidence.”

“Those weren’t just bruises,” Ruger said. “Three broken ribs and a punctured lung are not bruises. And why the f**k do you think I would’ve gone to jail, hmm? Look at me, Soph. Do you think I’m the kind of man to do time when I don’t have to? He would’ve just disappeared. Poof. Problem solved. I dare you to look me in the eye and tell me there’s one f**kin’ reason that a man like Zachary Barrett should still be breathing, because I’m comin’ up blank. I nearly had him taken out while he was locked up, but I figured a dead guy couldn’t pay child support.”

I gasped, eyes wide.

“You’re serious?” I whispered.

“Yeah, Sophie,” he said, sounding almost tired. “I’m f**kin’ serious. Christ, I’m the first thing Noah saw in this world. I caught him with my own hands on the side of the road, babe, and then he opened those eyes and looked right at me. From day one, I can say with a clear conscious that there is nothin’—not a f**king thing—on this earth I wouldn’t do to protect him or you. How long?”

“What?”

“How long was Zach hurtin’ you before it all went down?”

I shook my head, looking away, trying to think.

“It wasn’t big stuff,” I said finally. “Not at first. He’d yell at me, make me feel like shit. Then he started doing it in front of Noah.”

His entire body stiffened, his jaw clenching spasmodically. I stared at his chin and forged ahead.

“I had to do something, Ruger. I couldn’t let my son grow up that way. And then you came over to help out with the water heater. I kept watching you and I died just a little bit inside, because I knew I was stuck with the wrong brother. Then you looked back at me and it all came together in my head.”

“Fuck me,” Ruger muttered, leaning his forehead down against mine. I was still wrapped around him, back against the van, enclosed in his arms and his scent. “You’re just full of surprises, now aren’t you?”