The Galactic B.U.R.P. Read online

  The cat? I clear my throat. “Um… taking a nap? Or… washing his paws? He does that a lot.”

  The scientist sighs. “Sebastian, I know how much you like cats. But we need to test the potion. Once all the ISF agents on Friskopolus have been turned into wild dogs, they will finally leave us alone. We will be able to rule the universe without them constantly ruining our plans.”

  I hear Pockets shouting in my ear, but I can’t make sense of what he is saying, because I’m trying to make sense of what she’s saying. First off, she thinks I’m someone named Sebastian; second… they want to turn ISF agents into dogs? We were definitely wrong to assume this Sebastian person just wanted the plant for his collection of rare or extinct things.

  On the other end of the earpiece, Pockets is still freaking out. Dad cuts in and says, “Pockets and I are on the way. Distract them until we arrive.”

  Great. How am I supposed to do that?

  Turns out I don’t have to do anything, because just then the real Sebastian walks into the room. He looks almost exactly like me. Or I look almost exactly like HIM. His head is a little bigger, and his arms are hairier and his nose is kind of off center, but other than that, we could be twins. He is holding the little black cat under one arm.

  “I’m sorry I’m late,” Sebastian says to the scientist. “I was certain I had set my alarm clock, but it never went off. Did I miss anything? Do you have the plant?” He waits for the woman to answer, and when she only stares back, Sebastian finally notices everyone else has gone silent, too. “What’s going on?” he asks.

  The head scientist points a shaky finger at me. Sebastian follows the finger, and his eyebrows shoot up. “Who are you?” he asks, stepping forward. Before I can react, he pulls off my sunglasses and pushes my hood back to fully reveal my face. My hair springs up. Sebastian gasps and drops the black cat.

  “You… you look just like me!” he says.

  Actually, I’m at least an inch taller, but I think it’s best not to mention this.

  He reaches his hand toward my face, and for a second I think he’s going to hit me! But instead he just pinches my cheek to make sure I’m real. “You may have my face,” he says, “but you cannot possibly be the equal of Sebastian the Great, the universe’s most feared criminal mastermind, not to mention the founder and leader of B.U.R.P. So who are you?”

  Sebastian the Great? That’s the best nickname he could come up with?

  Wait! Did he just say he’s the leader of B.U.R.P.? But he’s just a kid!

  He is waiting for an answer, so I say, “Um, big criminal mastermind here, too. You know, trying to rule the universe and all.”

  Sebastian walks around me in a full circle, glaring. I cringe as he steps right on my sunglasses, snapping them in half. “There is only room for one of us,” he says, hands on his hips. “What is the name of your organization?”

  “Um, it’s F.A.R.T.,” I blurt out, then instantly wish I could take it back. It was all I could think of!

  The boy frowns. “What does it stand for?”

  “That is top secret information,” I tell him in my best evil-mastermind voice. Clearly, I have no idea what it might stand for.

  He nods in grudging approval. “Only a few know what B.U.R.P. stands for, and they are sworn to secrecy. Now, I demand you tell me what you are doing on my spaceship. It certainly looks like you are pretending to be me!”

  Pockets whispers in my ear, “Stay calm. We’re almost there.”

  I begin to explain that this is all a misunderstanding, when the door bursts open. Relief floods through me. Pockets and Dad have arrived!

  Only it isn’t Pockets and Dad. It’s another scientist in a white lab coat—a man this time, with white hair and a cane made of gleaming black wood. He is followed by the agent who brought me to the ship. I shrink back a little, but the agent walks right past me.

  “The canisantha is missing!” the new scientist tells Sebastian. “The plant was there this morning. Our team confirmed it with long-range photography. See?” He holds up a photograph that shows the plant I took. I don’t dare glance down at my pouch.

  “Are you certain you looked in the right spot?” Sebastian asks.

  “Yes,” he replies. “Absolutely.”

  “The dogs must have gotten to it,” Sebastian says. “You promised me that the plant was secure up there.”

  “It was,” the scientist insists. “The slope is too steep for the dogs to climb. That’s why it had remained safe all these years. Plus, the plant was pulled up by the roots. So whatever—or whoever—took it must have known the roots were important.”

  “But no one left the ship,” Sebastian says.

  The agent steps forward. “Well, no one but you, sir,” he says, almost apologetically. “You know, earlier. When you were wearing those odd clothes.”

  “You are mistaken,” Sebastian says. “I’ve been taking a nap!”

  The agent looks torn between wanting to argue and not wanting to accuse his boss of lying. He looks down at his feet. I slowly try to back up into the crowd. This would be a good time to disappear.

  But it’s too late. The agent looks up and spots me. He takes in my outfit and realizes I’m the one he saw, not Sebastian. He looks back and forth between the two of us, then cries out, “What? Who? Huh?” In an awkward attempt to reach for me, he crashes into a vat of bright pink liquid that the crowd was blocking before. The head scientist grabs it before it topples.

  “Almost there,” Pockets whispers in my ear.

  Sure, I’ve heard that before.

  The agent turns to Sebastian. “Is this some kind of trick? Is this a brother of yours?”

  The B.U.R.P. leader shakes his head. “I assure you, I have never seen this boy before in my life.”

  The agent thrusts his finger in my face. “You were standing right by those plants! You took it and tricked me! Where is it?”

  Before I can even think, the white-haired scientist begins waving his cane in a wide circle right in front of me. To my horror, my secret pouch with the missing plant is suddenly no longer so secret. They know how to dissolve Camo-It-Now! I quickly pull the cloak around me, but it’s too late. I know they’ve seen it.

  “Get out of there now!” Pockets shouts in my ear. I know he can’t see me, since my glasses are broken on the floor, but what he can hear in the earpiece obviously has him worried. I wish we’d gotten to the martial arts part of our training, because bouncing a ball and skipping rope isn’t going to help me right now. Before I can make a move, the agent grabs me by both arms.

  Sebastian reaches into my pocket and pulls out the bag. His eyes light up. “We’ve got it!” he shouts. He hands it to the woman, who pulls the plant out of the bag and drops it into the vat. The plant sizzles, then sinks to the bottom. The mixture begins to darken. The other scientist scoops up the small black cat, who meows in protest.

  “Is there no other way to test if the potion will work on talking cats?” Sebastian asks.

  The head scientist shakes her head. “We need to test it on a regular cat first. Then we will know the proper amount to feed our real target. Don’t worry. It will be very painless, and it will last forever.” She dips a pair of tongs into the vat and pulls off a piece of the plant no bigger than a pea. She reaches toward the cat’s mouth.

  “Not so fast,” a familiar voice shouts.

  It’s Pockets! Dad is right behind him. Finally!

  “Hey, I know you!” Sebastian shouts back. “You’re that giant cat from the castle at Tri-Dark! But… you’re talking! How is that…?”

  Pockets whips out his ISF badge. “You are under arrest for stealing the last canisantha plant and planning evil deeds.”

  At the sound of Pockets’s voice, the little black cat’s ears perk up. He tries to wriggle out of the scientist’s arms, but for an old guy, the man is very strong.

  The woman is now only a few inches from the little cat’s mouth. Without taking time to think, I reach into my pocket and grab the f