Overtime Read online

  Reaching out to take Mena Jane, he didn’t even take offense when she hesitated to give her to him. Finally, she gave her up and Jordie cuddled the sweet baby in his arms. Walking into the light, he drank in the sight of his gorgeous goddaughter and smiled. She had a roundness to her face, her dark lashes kissing her cheeks. Her lips were bright red, a little chapped, and she had a head full of dark brown hair. He had seen this face before. Loved this face, and it honestly knocked the air out of him when he realized who she looked like.

  Moving his finger along her rosy cheeks, he whispered, “She looks just like Kacey.”

  “Striking resemblance, for sure. Thankfully, she has my chin or I would be convinced Karson and Kacey made her.”

  Jordie grinned. “Yeah,” he whispered before leaning over to kiss Mena’s nose. “Must be why I love you so much already, huh?”

  When he looked up, Lacey was watching him, her eyes dark with wonder, and he promptly looked away. “Don’t read into that,” he said and she laughed without humor.

  “Yeah, sure,” she said. “Because hearing that you love my daughter because she looks like your ex isn’t something to read into?”

  “Nope, not at all,” he said, flashing her a grin. But he knew Lacey, she wasn’t going to let go that easily.

  “Whatever. So you still love her, then?”

  “You know I do,” he answered simply. He was tired of holding back how he felt. If rehab did anything, it taught him that he had to be open with his feelings. No matter how badly he wanted to keep all his vulnerability locked up tight, he had done that for way too long. And that’s what had often led to his drinking since he couldn’t handle all his feelings. As much as he hated that place, he was thankful for it. Thankful that Elli knew what he needed. That woman really was a gem.

  Shea Adler had really hit the jackpot with her.

  Lacey eyed him, not that he was paying attention to her because Mena Jane had stolen all his interest. She really was a pretty baby. He usually said that about all babies to make the mommies happy, even though most of the time, those other babies came out looking like hairless rats. But this one, man, she was a gorgeous little thing. Tears stung his eyes as he looked her over, her little hand grasping his finger. He was her godfather. He got to love her for the rest of her life, and he never had to be all disciplinarian with her like her parents had to. He could be the cool dad, the one she could come to whenever she needed anything. The one who would kill anyone that hurt her. A huge, overwhelming feeling of protectiveness washed over him as she slowly opened her eyes, the same color as Kacey’s, and he vowed that no one would even come close to hurting her while on his watch.

  Clearing her throat, Lacey said, “I do, but it’s still crazy hearing you say it.”

  He looked over at her and shrugged. “It’s the truth.”

  “So what’s your plan? Gonna try to get back with her?”

  “If she’ll have me,” he said, finally looking over at her. He shrugged again, his eyes held hostage by her inquisitive ones. “I don’t deserve her though.”

  “No, you don’t. Not after what you did,” she said, a little apprehension in her voice.

  He nodded, completely in agreement with her. He knew good and well that he could see Kacey and she could tell him to fuck off. He deserved it, but unlike before, when he would have gone to get drunk and let her go, he wouldn’t let go this time. He was going to fight and he would get her back. No matter what. For the last ninety days, he’d gone over and over all the ways he planned to win her back. He even got some ideas from his buddies in rehab. He also had to come clean to Karson, which was going to be hard, but she was worth it. He needed her. It was that simple. He had already apologized to Karson, Lacey, and Karson’s family for all the wrong he’d done over the years, but Kacey would take more than a simple apology, he knew that.

  “I was fucked up, Lacey, and I regret it every single day. You don’t need to remind me.”

  “She’s still hurt,” she said, moving her hair out of her face. His heart cracked a bit, so he snuggled into Mena Jane for a little extra support.

  “I know, but that also gives me hope. A little push that she still thinks of me.”

  “But it doesn’t mean she won’t try to kill you.”

  “She won’t,” he said with a grin. “She loved me at one time.”

  “I think she still does,” she admitted and Jordie nodded, his heart pumping faster in his chest.

  “That’s all well and good, and I pray to Jesus you’re right, Lacey, but that’s an issue I need to fix. Because only I can do it,” he said simply. “But enough about me. When was the last time you showered?”

  She made a face. “Why?”

  “Because you stink, and you have baby shit on your shirt along with something crusty and white in your hair. Since Karson isn’t home, I’m gonna guess it’s not what it should be, so you need a shower.”

  He said it to make her laugh, but she wasn’t laughing. Instead, her lips pressed together as her eyes started to fill with tears and he shook his head. “What the hell is going on, Lacey? I’ve never seen you like this.”

  She looked away sheepishly as he turned to look at the disaster that was her living room. Tissues were everywhere, dirty diapers, little circle pads, bottles of soda, and clothes littered the floor.

  “You’re drinking Coke now?”

  She was a clean eater, something she believed in since having breast cancer. She always told him, “You’ve got one body. Keep it healthy.” Apparently, she wasn’t living by that anymore.

  She shrugged. “I guess. It keeps me awake.”

  “Lacey, what’s going on?”

  She looked up at him, tears rolling down her cheeks, and her little lip wobbled. His heart broke for her. He didn’t understand what she was feeling. Hell, no one probably did. This girl was fighting an internal battle that only people in the same boat with her would understand. It killed him, but he had to help.

  “I’m scared twenty-four seven, Jordie. I know Karson is freaking out and trying to think of ways to help me, but all I can think is that she’s gonna die. My sweet little Mena Jane will be taken from me, and I can’t handle it. It’s like I have this weight on my chest and I’m struggling to breathe, to get out from underneath it to save her. I don’t know what to do. I won’t leave her and I won’t take her anywhere because I’m so scared. I just don’t know what to do. People call all the time to come and visit, and I make up excuse after excuse. Half the time I don’t even answer the phone. I’m a train wreck, and I don’t know how to make it better.”

  She started to sob and Jordie couldn’t take it. As much as he wanted to just hold Mena Jane, he knew that he needed to hold Lacey. Laying Mena Jane in the bassinet by the couch, he turned, taking Lacey in his arms, hugging her in close to his chest and almost squeezing her too hard. Snuggling her nose into his chest, she let out a sob that rattled his soul.

  He hated when women cried; it always made him feel an inch tall. It used to kill him to watch him mom cry over all her failed marriages. It would make him so mad because he would want to rattle her, scream at her that she didn’t need anyone, that he was enough, but he never did. He just comforted her. Why he did, he still didn’t understand. She never loved him enough to just be good with only having him, but this was different. Lacey loved Jordie for Jordie. Maybe because she had to, but she did and that was enough to make him want to do anything to help her.

  Kissing the top of her head, he fought back his own tears as she just sighed again, her eyes fluttering shut. She was exhausted. “When was the last time you slept the whole night?”

  She shook her head under his lips. “I don’t even remember. I can’t sleep. I’m always worried something will happen.”

  “Didn’t they prescribe you something for that?”

  “They did,” she said with a nod. “But I’m so worried that I won’t wake up to tend to her and Karson is such a heavy sleeper. And I don’t want to depend on Kacey to care for