Twenty-Two (Assassins Series Book 12) Read online

  “Okay. I’m going to go lie with the kids.”

  “I’ll do the dishes.”

  Coming to her, he kissed the back of her head as he held her close to him. “I’d be empty without you.”

  Smiling gently, she leaned into him. “Same here, big guy.”

  Kissing her once more, he whispered, “I love you.”

  “I love you.”

  As he walked away, she knew that would always be a fact.

  But her future…that was up in the air.

  And it scared the hell out of her.

  6

  What Do I Do?

  “I don’t want to move.”

  Audrey looked over at her big sister and nodded. “I don’t want you to move either.”

  “But it’s what I married. I married a hockey player. I knew going in that there was a chance we could leave. By the grace of God, we haven’t, but it was bound to happen.”

  “This is true.”

  “I want to be mad at Elli.”

  Audrey shook her head with a smile. “But you can’t. She’s already called you four times to apologize, and you know she wouldn’t have done it unless she had to.”

  “I know. I just hate it all.”

  “Yeah, and it fucking sucks.”

  Fallon held her glass up, and Audrey tapped hers to it before they each took long sips of the wine from the second bottle they had opened. They were both supposed to be working. But somehow, after Fallon’s phone call to her baby sister, Audrey had shown up with a box of cupcakes, and Fallon opened a bottle of wine and locked the door to her office. Rob was probably freaking his shit, wondering what he should do, but Fallon didn’t have time for that. She needed to talk this out.

  It had been a week since she’d found out about Lucas not being re-signed. Emery was doing fine, Molly, Lucas’s mom, was in the town helping, and the kids were good. Aiden was soaring. The kid was killing it on the ice, his eyes on the prize: Bellevue. And that just stuck another sword through her heart.

  “My baby is going to college at seventeen, Audrey, and I won’t be here.”

  “I’ll be here. I’ll keep an eye out.”

  “I know, and I’m thankful, but I’m supposed to. I’m his mom.”

  “So, let Lucas go by himself. He can come home when he can.”

  Fallon shook her head. “No, we need to stay together. The kids would flip. The girls, they have a hard time when he’s gone already. And splitting up like that, it just wouldn’t work.”

  “Yeah,” Audrey said sadly. “And he won’t retire?”

  “I don’t think so. He still wants to play.”

  “He’s so stubborn.”

  “He loves it. I can’t blame him for wanting to live his dreams. You know how he is. With his dyslexia, he’s nervous he’s never enough. With hockey, he knows what he’s doing. He knows how to win, and he doesn’t fail often. But in the real world…that’s a whole other arena he doesn’t have much experience in. He gives me palpitations, I swear.”

  “I’m sorry, sis,” Audrey said, and Fallon shrugged.

  “It is what it is. We’ll be okay, it’ll just be an adjustment.”

  “Maybe I can get Tate to talk to him. They can retire together and build a car or something.”

  Fallon laughed humorlessly, but then she looked up, meeting his sister’s gaze. “So, he is retiring?”

  Audrey nodded. “He decided last night that if this next surgery doesn’t go well, he’s done.”

  “And the doctors don’t think it will?”

  She shook her head. “There is a chance. But the infection really messed up the cartilage around his hip, and he’ll always be in pain if he continues to drop down into the butterfly. So there really isn’t an option.”

  “Yeah, man, that sucks. He had at least another ten years in him.”

  She laughed. “That’s what he said.”

  “I think I’ve heard him say it.”

  Audrey grinned. “I think the saving grace is that the Assassins have a spot for a goalie coach. It’s an assistant spot, but Elli said it’s his if he wants it.”

  Fallon beamed. “That’s awesome for him.”

  “Yeah, he has so much knowledge, and he’s damn good. So we’re hoping that if he can’t play, he’ll be able to do that.”

  “Me too. See, Lucas needs something like that!”

  “Have you asked him to look into something along those lines?”

  Fallon shook her head. “They’re down two in the series. His focus is the game, which is fine. We’re going to figure things out after the play-offs.”

  “Well, let’s hope they win, or it’s going to suck even more,” Audrey added with a grimace, and Fallon nodded.

  “It sure as hell will.”

  Boy, would it. It would be like adding insult to injury. Her husband was stressed, she knew he was, and he was tired. So damn tired. His body wasn’t like it used to be; he was worn out and he needed rest, but he had no time for that. When he was home, he slept, and when he was on the road, he slept. The guy was exhausted. She just wanted the Assassins to win and for Lucas to be relaxed enough to let go. Sleep for a week, and then decide his future. She wanted so badly for him to want to retire so she wouldn’t have to worry about picking everyone up and moving them. But, in reality, she just wanted him to be happy. If he wasn’t ready to retire, he wasn’t ready. She understood that, but it didn’t ease the fear in her soul.

  Reaching out, Audrey took Fallon’s hand. “No matter what, you’re the strongest woman I know, and you’ve got this.”

  Squeezing her sister’s hand, she said, “I hope you’re right.”

  “I am. Don’t you worry,” she said with a wink, and Fallon smiled.

  She wished like hell she had the confidence in herself that her sister and the rest of her family had in her.

  Because while everyone else knew Fallon had control, she was two seconds from curling up in a ball and crying herself into a stupor.

  Aiden was going to college.

  Emery had a broken arm.

  Asher was great and doing awesome with his technology, but she was sure something would come up.

  Stella was insane and would drive her into an early grave with her need to gossip about everyone.

  Lucas was facing an uncertain professional future, but she had no choice but to hold their family together.

  Lucas leaned forward on his knees with his hat low over his eyes. Emery sat in his lap, with Asher on one side and Stella on the other. Fallon was behind them, leaning her arms on Lucas’s shoulders as they watched Aiden rush up the ice, the puck on his stick as he skated with ease. The kid reminded him so much of himself that it sparked a certain kind of pride in his chest. A kind of pride that hurt in a way. Aiden was amazing, and when he deked around a player, taking the puck between his legs before shooting over the goalie’s shoulder, Lucas shook his head.

  “Kid stole my shot,” he said as everyone cheered around him, and Aiden looked up, his eyes meeting his. Lucas nodded his head, and Aiden beamed through the cage of his helmet before wrapping his arms around his teammates.

  “I’d say you passed it down,” Fallon whispered in his ear before kissing the side of his face, and he grinned as he looked up at her. “It will always be yours.”

  Chuckling, he wrapped his arms around Emery as she leaned back against him. “Daddy, when do you leave?”

  “Monday.”

  She groaned. “I don’t want you to.”

  “Honey, I gotta go win the Cup.”

  “I don’t want the Cup. I want you,” she pouted.

  “Me too,” Stella decided. “You’ve been gone too much.”

  Kissing the top of Stella’s head, he nodded. “Almost there, girls. Don’t worry.”

  “Dad has to be awesome, guys. Relax,” Asher added, and Lucas leaned into his little buddy.

  “Thanks, bud.”

  Asher beamed up at him from where he was playing Minecraft on his phone. The series was tied at two