Broken Pieces Read online

  Or that I would hurt this bad.

  But, really, what did I expect? I have loved Taegan almost my whole life. Even when she didn’t want me, I wanted her. Finally, I get her, four glorious years of that beautiful woman, and now…now it’s over.

  Fucking, over.

  Covering my eyes with my fist, I try to catch my breath, my heart dead inside of me. Figuratively, since it’s already literally dead, but whatever, I’m fucking dying here. I never thought it could happen. I never thought I would ever know what death felt like.

  But apparently, all I had to do was fall in love, lose her, and I would know the feeling.

  I can’t help but think maybe I still have a chance. Maybe I can talk my father into letting me take over, maybe I can stop the wedding? But if I still had a chance, why isn’t she answering my calls? Does she not want me? Maybe I should go see her. But what if people hear us, and then it gets back to my father? I can’t risk it, but what can I do?

  Maybe I shouldn’t do anything.

  In a way, I really can’t.

  Maybe this is the forces beyond at work, and I should just accept that my relationship with Taegan will never be more than a love I can’t have. That we are nothing but two star-crossed lovers. I have responsibilities; I have a family to protect. Can I really do that if I’m breaking noses and sulking in my room? I can’t, so maybe I should take this as a blessing. I have to worry about my family. About my obligations as the future king of the Patchwork. Can I even be the king this community needs if I’m completely in love with my queen, and I care more for her than I do anyone else? I don’t know, and maybe I’ve been too blind to see that. I have to do what’s right and do my duty.

  That’s not a problem…but can I do it? Can I let her go?

  The scariest thing is I don’t know.

  Before I really know what I’m doing, I’m moving, out of my room and down the hall. As I take the stairs two at a time, I hear people downstairs, my siblings, but I have to see my father. I don’t know what I’m doing, what I’ll say, but I have to try. I can’t let her go.

  I love her.

  When I get to his door, I knock as I push it open, meeting his surprised gaze as I enter.

  “Oceanus.”

  “Father,” I say, shutting the door and then walking toward his desk.

  Closing the book in front of him, he folds his hands, giving me his attention. “Heard you broke Jonas’s nose.”

  I nod as I fall back into the chair in front of his desk. “Yeah, he’s fine.”

  “How are your hands? Do you need new ones?”

  I shake my head, glancing at my busted knuckles, but I don’t care. “No, I’m fine.”

  Meeting my father’s concern-filled eyes, I swallow hard as he says, “You seem upset. Are you okay?”

  “Fine,” I say, waving him off. “Father—”

  “Does this have to do with the Conner wolf?”

  I shake my head quickly, bile in my throat as I hold my father’s gaze. “No, this is about something else.”

  His brow rises as he eyes me. “Please, go on.”

  Taking in a breath before clearing my throat, I lean back in my chair. “I feel we need to discuss my taking my rightful spot as leader of the clan.”

  His lips tip up a bit in amusement. “Oh, do we?”

  “Yes,” I say sternly, my whole life on the edge as I hold his gaze. “It’s been months since we’ve discussed it. You look exhausted, Father. I know you are working night and day for this formula for Rebekah,” I add, and his lips press together. “Let me take some of the weight off your shoulders. You can focus just on Rebekah. On retirement. I’m ready, Father, you know I am.”

  “I don’t doubt that you are ready, Oceanus, but I’m not ready to hand it over.”

  “Why?” I yell, letting my emotions take over. Surprised by my outburst, he narrows his eyes as I look away. My eyes slowly fall shut as I take in a cleansing breath. I can’t act like this. This isn’t who I am. I’m not an emotional basket case,. I am strong.

  I am Oceanus von Stein.

  Future leader of this fucking clan.

  Clearing my throat, I say, “Father, excuse me. I’m worn-out, and I just worry about you.”

  When he starts to laugh, I look up, completely startled as he shakes his head. “Son, you aren’t worried about me. You’re worried about the fact that bitch is getting married, and it’s not to you.”

  Within seconds, I’m standing, my hands slamming against his desk. Rage and frustration run through my veins. “Do not call her that,” I roar, and I can’t believe the person who is standing in front of my father. I just outed myself, completely, like an idiot. Who is this person? I’m usually so calm, cool, collected. At least, I was before my love decided to marry another.

  Crossing his arms over his chest, he shakes his head once more. “Oceanus, come on, what have you done?”

  “Nothing,” I bite out, stepping back and away from him. Walking around the chair I had been sitting in, I cross my arms and look out at the room, trying to collect myself. “Just don’t disrespect her like that.”

  “Why? She is nothing to you.”

  “You’re right,” I say sadly, my soul breaking even more. “But still, don’t disrespect her name.”

  “Fine,” he says after a moment, and I know he’s scrutinizing me. “The wolf princess. This is about her and her wedding, I’m sure.”

  “It’s not,” I answer. But even I don’t believe me, so why would he?

  “Lying isn’t your strong suit, my son, and I see right through you. I always have been able to, and I don’t understand what you’re doing. Do you know who you are?”

  “Yes, of course, I do,” I say, rolling my eyes before facing him. “But yet, you won’t let me have my rightful place!”

  Swallowing hard, I watch as my father slowly stands. “Because I’m not ready to give it to you. It’s at my discretion.”

  “But it’s my place. It’s my time! Let me have what is mine.”

  “In due time. Maybe tomorrow, maybe after the wolf marries, maybe in another year, you never know.”

  “Her name is Taegan—”

  But before I can say anything else, his fist hits the table. “No, no more. This conversation is over. The wolf is no longer your concern. She is to marry, and it’s not your place to care,” he yells, his eyes wild with anger. “You are Oceanus von Stein, my son and the future leader of this clan. You will not do so with some wolf at your side. No mixing of the clans, Oceanus. None.”

  “But, Father—” I try, but he cuts me off.

  “Also, what in the hell would she bring to this family to make us better? Nothing. We only marry to make us stronger. She will not make you stronger!”

  “Yes, she will,” I yell, and I don’t even recognize my voice. “She makes me stronger by just loving me, Father. I understand that you’ve never loved another, that you used women to have us, but it’s different for me. I love her and I want to be with her, and I can’t until that fucking rule is gone!”

  “It isn’t going anywhere.”

  “Yes! It will when I’m in command.”

  “Then maybe you won’t be in command.”

  It’s like he’s smacked me. Hard, across the face. I hold my chest as I hold his gaze. “It’s my place. It’s on my Ceremony of the Patchwork decree.”

  My father shrugs. “But it also says when I’m ready. Maybe I’ll never be ready.”

  “Father—”

  “No, son, you forget who has the power here,” he says simply, and I look away, trying to take in a breath.

  Broken. Completely broken. That’s all I can say. I look up at him, feeling nothing but pain. “I hadn’t forgotten. I just hoped maybe you’d be a little lenient.”

  “Lenient isn’t who I am, my son,” he says, and just like that, I know I have no chance here. I no longer feel anything. I’m empty. Reaching out, he takes my face in his hand, bringing my gaze to his as his voice drops to almost a whisper.