Falling for the Backup Read online

  She nodded as she said, “Ouch.”

  “Yes, it sucked, but I’m doing much better.”

  “That’s good,” Aynslee said before leaning toward him. “Since you are an only child, does that mean your mom was going crazy taking care of you?”

  “Yeah, she came over from South Carolina and didn’t leave for three months. It was horrible.”

  “I bet. With me being from a large family, you’d think my mom wouldn’t have time to baby me, but when I broke my ankle, she came and stayed with me in my little bitty dorm room for two weeks. She carried my books to class and everything. My mom is the best.”

  “Wow, she sounds great.”

  “Yeah, I love my mom and my dad. They are nuts, and my family is huge and loud and over the top, but they are mine, you know?”

  Jordan couldn’t agree more. “Yeah, my mom and dad are a handful, but I wouldn’t change them for the world.”

  As he took a drink of his coffee, Jordan recognized the song that was playing: Hunter Hayes’s “Somebody’s Heartbreak.” It was one of his favorite country songs right now, and as he looked across the table at Aynslee, he couldn’t help but want her to be his heartbreak. He just didn’t want to be hers, and that was why nothing could ever come of this. It didn’t matter if he was insanely attracted to her, or that they both had the same values when it came to family, or that she’d made him laugh more in the last twenty minutes than he had in the last two years. None of that mattered, because he couldn’t hurt her.

  “So I have to tell you something,” she said softly.

  Jordan gazed at her beautiful face. He wished he could reach over, take her hand in his, and kiss her knuckles before smothering her mouth with his. She had the most kissable lips he had ever seen. He could tell by the way she looked at him that she wanted it too, but he knew he couldn’t chance it. Because if their lips met, he wasn’t going to be able to stop.

  “Okay.”

  “I Googled you.”

  He raised an eyebrow as he asked, “You Googled me?”

  “Yup, and before you think I’m a complete stalker, I’m not … yet.”

  “Yet?” he said with a chuckle.

  “Before I saw you today, I was planning to show up at your practice next week.”

  “You stalker, you,” he teased with a grin.

  She laughed, and he watched her face turn red. He loved when she blushed. She was so beautiful. It made him feel good that she wanted to see him again, because he wanted the same thing, but, again, that was bad, very bad. He needed to walk away, to tell her that nothing could ever come of this, but she would smile, and for some reason he would forget the reasons why he couldn’t ask her out. Good God, it wasn’t as if they were going to get married. What was wrong with him? They could date, have fun, and when he knew what his future was, he’d leave. It could just be for fun.

  But when she met his gaze, he knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

  “Anyways,” she said, hiding behind her coffee cup, “you’re a hockey player, huh?”

  He paused. She gave him a nervous smile, and he nodded his head. “Yup.”

  “That’s cool. I went to my first game last night.”

  His heart fell as he looked down at his cup. If she was at the game, she’d seen him on the bench.

  How embarrassing.

  “It was fun—confusing, but fun. I saw you. I even waved, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t see me.”

  He shook his head. He had searched for her and still missed her. That sucked—but not as much as it sucked that she saw him warming the bench.

  “Sorry, I didn’t,” he said, picking at the paper sleeve around his cup. “I don’t play much.”

  When he looked up at her, she nodded. “Your knee, right?”

  “Yeah,” he said quietly.

  Jordan felt like a loser. Suddenly the great time they were having was dimmed by his bitter mood. He hated feeling this way. He wanted to be a man who was worthy of her, but he wasn’t. He was a washed-up goalie who was begging teams to take a chance on him. Aynslee deserved someone better.

  “I’m not what I used to be.”

  She eyed him, holding his gaze as she ran her hand up and down her cup. She seemed to be grasping for words, but there was nothing to say. He glanced nervously around the room, feeling completely stupid. Why had he even talked to her? He should have just let her walk away when she ordered her coffee. Of course she’d looked him up online; she’d probably read that he was worthless now, that his own team wouldn’t play him unless they were desperate. That some twenty-two-year-old had taken his spot.

  None of that mattered, though, because he was leaving and it was for the best. As he had been telling himself from the beginning, he couldn’t start anything with her. He just couldn’t. Standing up, he looked down at her welcoming, sweet face.

  “I have to go.”

  “What?” she asked as she stood up too, confused. “Why?”

  “ ’Cause I do. I gotta catch a flight and stuff, so … yeah, bye.”

  Jordan turned then and rushed out of Starbucks, not stopping even when he thought he heard her call his name. He got in his truck, started it, and drove out of the parking lot. Even though his heart was pounding, telling him he was a complete idiot, he knew it was for the best. When he reached the exit, he glanced in his rearview mirror before heading out onto the road—and saw her standing outside, with her hands on her hips. He wanted to roll down the window, apologize, anything, because he didn’t want to leave, but he knew that he had to.

  He promised himself he would never see her again.

  Chapter 4

  “How’s the knee, Jordan?”

  Jordan looked across the table at the IceCats GM, Sean Rogers. Jordan’s heart was pounding in his chest while sweat dripped down the middle of his back. It was cold in the room, but Jordan’s nerves were out of control. He hadn’t realized how much he wanted to be on the IceCats until he stepped foot into their arena. Walking past all the posters and photos of the team winning the cup and at charity events reminded Jordan a lot of the Assassins. But the IceCats needed a goalie, while the Assassins only needed a backup.

  Forcing a smile, he looked straight into Sean’s eyes and said, “It’s good. I’m ready to play.”

  Sean nodded. “You were a force to be reckoned with before the injury.”

  Jordan heard the were loud and clear. That needed to change.

  “I still could be if I was given the chance. When I played eleven games straight for Tate Odder while he was out, I let in only seven of two hundred and fifty shots on goal. I am ready to play full time—I’m tired of warming the bench.”

  Sean trained his eyes down at Jordan’s file. Then he looked up, smiled.

  “I agree, but has Bacter given you a reason why you are warming and not playing? You and Odder are very similar players.”

  “I don’t know. All I know is that I want to play and I’m not getting the time I need on the ice playing for the Assassins.”

  Sean paused for a moment, looking back down at the table.

  “You have been with that team since you started in the NHL. Are you sure you want to leave?”

  Was he sure? It would hurt to leave the Assassins. He loved the team, but he loved playing more, and just as he was about to say that, he thought of Aynslee. Disturbing. Was it his subconscious letting him know that he was walking away not only from the team but from her too?

  Shaking his head, he said, “As much as I’ll miss them, I have to go to a team that will play me, and I think that team is the IceCats. I have dreamed of playing for this team my entire life, and I am ready to show you that I can be the star goalie you need to bring the cup home once again.”

  As much as he believed he would kick ass, Jordan was worried that he wouldn’t be happy when he left Tennessee. It was an insane thought, because his family was here and being a part of the IceCats was his lifelong dream, but he would be leaving his team, his friends, and Aynslee. Aynslee. As much