Breaking Away Read online

  I can’t wait to see you. I’m on my way.

  He had sent that before he came to get her for the party. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard and she begged herself to write something, anything, but her fingers refused to move. She hated how this all was making her feel. She wanted to be with him, but she was scared that it could come crashing down and she would be left with nothing. But she was left with nothing now, so really, what was she supposed to do? Take the chance, give him everything and hope they worked, or live a life of loneliness because she was pretty sure if she couldn’t give her heart to Phillip, she wouldn’t be able to give it to anyone.

  The baby shower went great, or at least it seemed it had. Harper got everything she needed for a little boy, and she could see the excitement on her face from the corner she sat in. She wished she would have been a little more involved, but her mind was completely flooded with thoughts of Phillip. She needed to figure out what she was going to do. She fought with the need to text him and then decided that it would probably be best to just talk to him face to face, but she wasn’t sure what to say once she was there. And then the fear of rejection was there. He said he wouldn’t wait and she didn’t blame him one bit, but it would kill her for him to reject her. But then what if he did take her back… then what? Did they go on the way they had? She didn’t want to get married right now, or maybe even ever. She didn’t want kids, she just wanted him and Claire, and was that even okay with him? Was that enough? There were so many questions, and she needed to figure out what he wanted and hoped that it matched what she wanted. She handled the other day completely wrong. She acted before thinking and now, she had nothing.

  She left in a daze, with Claire trailing behind her. Through the whole baby shower, she sat quietly beside her, involved, but Reese knew she was worried about her. Once in the car, Reese headed in the direction of Phillip’s house, her head leaning on the window as she tried to find the courage to go in with Claire and face him.

  “He misses you too, you know.”

  Reese looked over at Claire before looking back at the road. “I know, but this is all so difficult, Claire.”

  “I get that, but being apart is obviously not good for you two. Can’t you try to work it out?”

  Reese fought back the tears as she nodded. “I want to, but I don’t know how. I messed everything up.”

  “I think that if you told him you missed him, he’d tell you that he missed you too, and then you two would be fine. He will understand that you messed up, just admit that. People make bad decisions when they are stressed, or scared. He gets that.”

  She shook her head. “It is so much more than that. First, I am scared of what I am feeling, scared that he could hurt me, and then I don’t even know if he wants the same things I want, because I wouldn’t even give him the chance. I know this is my fault. I get that, and I know that I have to fix it. It’s just that I don’t know how. I don’t know how to look at him and tell him what I am feeling. I’ve never been good at that. I just say how it is. I love you and that’s it. You know?”

  She slowly smiled and then asked, “Do you want us in your life?”

  “Yes,” she said without thinking.

  “Then tell him that. You two can figure out all the other crap later. If you love him and he loves you, what else is there?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Claire reached over, placing her hand on Reese’s. “You two belong together. It will work out, you just have to try.”

  Reese thought that over as she pulled into Phillip’s driveway. Gathering her things, Claire looked over at her and asked, “What time will you pick me up tonight?”

  She was confused. “Pick you up for what?”

  “Game one, playoffs, we have seats. Don’t tell me you’re blowing me off.”

  She groaned as she covered her face. “Please don’t make me go, Claire.”

  “You said you would, and Phillip will be there!”

  “I know, that’s why I don’t want to go.”

  “But you guys can talk.”

  “If I wanted to talk, I’d go in the house and talk to him.”

  “Okay, let’s go,” she said, throwing her door open.

  “I can’t,” Reese stressed. “I don’t know how to face him yet. I hurt him, I saw it in his eyes, and I don’t like that I did that.”

  “Okay, well, hopefully you figure it out by tonight. Be here at six and then its game time!” she exclaimed, before hopping out the car and running up to the door. Reese watched her disappear inside and then shook her head. She had already disappointed the girl so much by cutting things off with Phillip. She knew that it was understood that Reese wasn’t going anywhere, but she still felt like Claire was mad at her, upset with the outcome of everything. She wanted to fix that. She wanted to fix what was going on between her and Phillip; she just had to find the courage to do it. She was pretty sure going to game one wasn’t going to help but then again, maybe it would. The more she thought about it, the more she thought that maybe Claire was a genius.

  As Phillip skated in his usual nine circles around the goal, he listened to the roar of the crowd as he took in the already thousands of people that were watching him. This was going to be a good match up, and he was hoping for a quick series by winning four games straight. He had faith in his team, but the Red Wings were a veteran-filled team that had plenty of banners hanging from their rafters and dominated the sport with ease. He was worried, but not that worried. They were ranked first in the division and on one hell of a streak. They had this.

  Plain and simple.

  Stretching his neck from side and side, he slid into the spot beside Shea and started stretching with him as he looked around the glass, reading all the signs of encouragement from the greatest fans in the NHL.

  “You ready? Head in the game?”

  Phillip looked over at Shea and nodded. “Fuck yeah.”

  “Good, I know you have some shit going on in your personal life but like the professional you are, you never let that affect your hockey. I admire that about you.”

  Taken aback a little, since he didn’t know that Shea knew about him and Reese breaking up, he said, “Thanks.”

  “No problem. Don’t worry, there are other fish in the sea.”

  Phillip scoffed. “Is that what everyone said when Elli and you split?”

  Shea’s eyes widened. “Shit no, she is my prized fish.”

  “Well, Reese is mine.”

  Shea gave him a wide smile as he nodded. “Then I suggested you catch that one and make her yours.”

  “That’s the plan, but she is being very uncooperative and won’t take the fucking bait.”

  Shea scoffed. “The good ones usually do.”

  “Those Allen women are tough,” Jakob said from the other side of him. “Reese is a mini version of Harper. Trick is to give her time. She’ll come around.”

  “I sure hope so cause I—” He stopped short because he was about to say that he needed her to breathe, but figured that would make him sound like a pussy so instead he said, “I just want to be with her.”

  Shea stood up, smacking him in the shin with his stick. “No worries, it will work out, let’s win this game first.”

  “I agree,” Jakob said, doing the same thing Shea did before he skated off with him, passing the puck back and forth. Phillip stood up, reaching for his toes before putting his stick behind his back with his arms draped over it to stretch his back. When he glanced to where Claire was sitting, he smiled. She was stuffing her face with popcorn, watching the guys warming up. Or really, she was watching Patty. Phillip still saw red when he looked at their rookie, something about finding him in bed with Claire made him instantly hate the guy, despite the fact that he was a really good kid.

  Looking towards the goal, Phillip rushed it, grabbing a puck and playing with it as he continued to warm up. As much as he wanted to get ready for the game, pump himself up, his mind kept drifting to her. He wondered where she was, what s