Trying to Score (Assassins) Read online

  “He said I didn’t want him.”

  “I know, but I’m going to fix it. I promise.”

  Lucas shook his head, running his hands through his hair once more before taking in a deep breath. “This is my fault. I should have chased after you, but nope, I was too fucked up.”

  Fallon was toe to toe with him before he even finished the sentence. “This is nowhere near your fault, Lucas. I should have told you. I should have been a good woman and told you about your son. This is my fault and I’ll fix it.”

  Lucas shook his head. “I don’t think you can. I think he hates me.”

  “He doesn’t hate you. He’s just scared. I’ll talk to him. I promise, everything will be fine.”

  Lucas’ eyes filled with tears and Fallon found it hard to catch her breath. If he started to cry in front of Fallon, she was pretty sure she would pass out. Lucas never showed emotion before and in the past week that was all she had seen from him.

  Maybe he had changed?

  “Okay,” Lucas said with a nod. Fallon nodded back and reached for his hand, squeezing it with a small smile on her face. She didn’t even pull away when he leaned forward and pressed his lips softly to hers. She basked in the feel of his lips, the warmth of his skin against hers, everything, because she still craved it. When he pulled back, she gave him one last smile before heading down the steps to go to the car.

  Fallon’s mind was reeling.

  Did she really just kiss Lucas while around them the world was falling apart? And why didn’t it feel like the world was crashing down around them when his lips were on hers?

  Damn, she was messed up.

  Aiden didn’t say anything the entire ride back to their house. Every time Fallon looked in the rearview mirror, he was looking out the window, his chin on his hand. All her past fears came rushing back to her, and she wished like hell that she hadn’t left Lucas’ house. At least she would have him there for support, but not now. She was on her own. The way it should be. She made this mess, and she needed to fix it. It was obvious that Lucas needed Aiden, and Fallon couldn’t help but think Aiden needed Lucas. She thought she could do this all on her own, but just in the past week she saw a difference in Aiden. He was happier.

  And it was all because of Lucas.

  When they pulled into the driveway, Fallon got out and let Aiden out, shutting the doors behind them. He slid his hand into hers as they walked up the walkway. Once inside, Aiden headed for the stairs as Fallon went to lay her things down. As she checked her phone before turning it off, she heard Aiden’s door slam. She took in a jagged breath and prayed for the strength and knowledge to do this. After sliding off her pumps, and running her hands through her hair, she figured she had stalled enough. She started climbing the stairs and with each step her heartbeat picked up in speed.

  What was Aiden going to say?

  Was he going to hate her?

  Did he hate Lucas?

  Questions filled her head as she took each step, getting closer and closer to her baby boy’s door. When Aiden’s blue door came into sight, she took in another deep breath before pushing the door open. Aiden lay on his side with his back to the door.

  “Aiden?” she asked as she shut the door behind her.

  “Yeah?” Aiden said, not turning to look at her. Fallon walked around the random toys on Aiden’s floor and decided that she would yell at him to clean up later. Aiden cleaning his room was at the bottom of Fallon’s list of worries. Fallon sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on the outside of Aiden’s thigh. Nothing was said for a few minutes as Fallon watched tears roll down Aiden’s cheeks and over his chin. She felt horrible and prayed that Aiden would understand that at the time she thought she was helping him.

  “Honey, we need to talk about what happened at Lucas’ house.”

  Aiden nodded, still not looking at her as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. “Lucas said he is my dad.”

  Fallon moved her hand up and down Aiden’s leg. “He is.”

  Aiden looked over at her as if she had just told him that dinosaurs were roaming the earth as they speak. “He is?”

  “Yes honey,” Fallon said, confused. Did he think Lucas was lying?

  “You knew?”

  Fallon bit her lip as her heart started to race. She nodded as she said. “I did.”

  Aiden looked up at Fallon, his eyes full of tears as he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Fallon’s heart broke at the sounds of his little whimper. She hated that she had hurt him and wished she could take it all back. Fallon reached for Aiden’s hands, holding them in hers as she said, “I wanted to wait until you got to know him, baby. I didn’t want to throw everything at you at once.”

  Fallon was starting to think he wasn’t going to say anything as he looked down at his hands, but then he looked up as her before saying, “Why didn’t he want me?”

  Fallon reached for Aiden as the tears threatened to fall. She never thought that Aiden would ask that. She had always made sure to tell him that Lucas loved him and that he wanted him but maybe that wasn’t enough. Maybe she had ruined their relationship because how was she going to explain to a six year old that Lucas did want him after all this time? She had fucked up enormously bad, and she could honestly say she didn’t know how she was going to fix it.

  Aiden buried his face in Fallon’s neck as she prayed for the right words to say, the right way to tell Aiden. “Honey, Lucas does want you.”

  “But not before,” Aiden cried. Fallon swore that with every tear, her heart broke more. She hated when Aiden cried. Fallon pulled back, looking down at Aiden.

  “Baby, I never told Lucas about you.”

  Aiden’s eyebrows came together as he looked up at Fallon. “Why not?”

  Shit. How’d she know he was going to say that?

  “Well, when we broke up and I found out I was pregnant with you, instead of telling him, I came home so that AA, Grammie and Grandpa could help me.”

  “Why didn’t you ask Lucas to help you?”

  Because she was stupid.

  “Well, Mommy was really mad at him.”

  “Why?”

  Damn it! Why didn’t they write books on how to do this?!

  “Because Lucas kissed another girl. I got mad and left him.”

  Aiden’s little eyes got so wide as he looked up at Fallon. “He kissed another girl when you were his girlfriend? Even I know not to do that.”

  Say what?!

  Fallon pointed her finger at Aiden. “You better not be kissing any little girls,” she warned. Aiden smiled bashfully for the first time since leaving Lucas’. Fallon smiled back and hugged him close to her. “Lucas loves you so much, baby. If he would have known about you before he would have been here. Mommy was just mad and didn’t want him around. It’s all my fault for keeping him away from you. I’m so sorry.”

  Aiden nodded, snuggling closer to her chest. “It’s okay.”

  Fallon smiled against his temple as she held him close. Aiden was pretty much the best kid imaginable and Fallon knew that they were going to be okay. His and Lucas’ relationship wouldn’t be affected by Fallon’s deception. In the long run they would both love each other the way she loved them both, and everything would be perfect.

  At least for them.

  Fallon on the other hand would always love a man that she couldn’t trust. She would always yearn for him and wish like hell that she could be with him. She knew that she would have to watch him be with someone else because Lucas Brooks wasn’t going anywhere and he wasn’t going to be single for long. He would forever be in Aiden’s life, and Fallon would have to learn to deal with her jacked-up emotions. She would have to learn to let go, to understand that what she and Lucas had would never come back. Too much had happened, too much time had passed.

  But maybe one day she would be able to move on. Maybe then she would be able to be with him. Maybe he would still be single and want her. Maybe they could all be a happy family.

&nb