Wild Tendy (IceCats Book 2) Read online

  Chapter Thirty

  Aviva

  I can’t replace perfection.

  You can’t love me if you don’t love yourself.

  Nico’s words roll over and over again in my head as I stare at myself in his mirror. Tears are flowing down my face as the scars on my chest taunt me.

  If you want boobs, get them when Callie does.

  I close my eyes as the tears leak out. He doesn’t understand. Without pulling up my dress, I head out of the bathroom to find him on the bed, his phone in hand. He looks over at me. “Come to bed.”

  I glare. “You don’t understand,” I say loudly. “I have hated this body for nine years. You can’t just demand I stop!”

  He lays his phone down, putting his hands behind his head. “Yes, I can.”

  I’m flabbergasted. “No, you can’t.”

  “I can, because I love it. There is absolutely nothing on you to hate, Aviva. You have this notion in your head that you need boobs to complete you, and you don’t.”

  “But that’s my cross to bear, and I’ll get there. But how dare you say I can’t love you—”

  “You can’t,” he says so calmly. “You’ll always think I want better, and that’s not fair to me or you. I really don’t want anyone else, I promise. I happen to love you and only you.”

  My jaw is hanging open. “So what? You want to end this?”

  He rolls his eyes, letting out a sigh. “What in the hell? How does I love you mean I want to end this?”

  “Because why do you get to love me, but I don’t get to love you?”

  “I don’t doubt you love me, Aviva. I mean, come on. I’m a catch—”

  “Your cockiness knows no bounds.”

  He nods. “Yeah, so?”

  I can’t even argue with him. “Oh my God, you drive me crazy.”

  “I’m aware,” he says simply. “But like I said, I can’t keep doing this dance with you. Love yourself, know I’m not fucking around on you or that I want to. I love you. I love that body, and I don’t need you to have boobs. I need you to smile.”

  I shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest as my lip quivers. I hate how I am feeling. So defeated, so worthless. “I don’t know how to love myself.”

  Something changes in his eyes. Gone is the cockiness, replaced by concern. “It’s easy, Aviva. Just know you are perfection, and the rest will fall into place.”

  “How, when I know I’m not? I’m missing a key piece, Nico.”

  “Funny, because your key piece to me is your soul.”

  My heart is going crazy in my chest, as are the butterflies in my gut.

  “Now, come to bed so I can love on that body of yours and show you why you should love it too.”

  I just blink. “Why do you drive me crazy?”

  “Because it’s fun,” he says, sitting up and pulling me to him. He kisses me in the middle of my chest and looks up at me. “I love you, Aviva.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck as he slides his hands down my dress before cupping my ass. I lean my head into his, pressing my nose right below his eye. “I do love you too, Nico.”

  “I know.”

  My face breaks into a grin, and my heart soars.

  But I’m terrified he’s right.

  How can I love him when I don’t love myself?

  As the sun sets, Amelia slowly walks down the aisle on her brother’s arm. He holds her like she is a flower, and tears threaten to fall from his eyes. He’s wearing a pair of khaki pants and a teal button-down shirt. I was surprised by the minimal decorations for the wedding, but then I saw Amelia’s dress. It’s a showstopper. Made of only lace, it has tons of beads, crystals, and sparkles that have her gleaming in the setting sun. It’s long, dragging on the beach as she walks, while the back is completely bare, showing off her incredible muscles. The lace in the front is cut in a way that shows a lot of skin but also keeps her covered. She isn’t wearing a veil, and her hair is flowing down her shoulders. She looks stunning, and Ryan, he’s an emotional mess.

  I met him yesterday, and it’s obvious that his sister and his wife are his life. After losing their dad to cancer, he said walking Amelia down the aisle would be very special to him. It’s sweet. Almost as sweet as watching him with his wife; he can’t keep his hands off her. Sofia is a gorgeous and stunning gymnast whom Callie has talked to and about nonstop. She owns a gym back in Nashville and offered for Callie to come train if we ever go there. She’s apparently pretty badass and has convinced Callie that she needs to go to Bellevue for college. I was hoping she’d stay in state, but let’s be honest, that girl is too talented to stay here.

  I look up at where the preacher stands with Chandler, who’s crying like a baby. Tears gush down that man’s face, and it guts me. He looks so handsome in a white button-down and khaki pants. It’s obvious he loves Amelia more than anything. Soon, my tears are flowing, and I know Nico is going to tease us all. He’s standing there with a shit-eating grin while holding Carter, who is wearing a matching teal shirt and khaki pants. Even with how adorable Carter is, my gaze keeps falling on Nico. He looks so damn good, so damn happy, and I can’t wait to cuddle with him later.

  His words still haunt me, and I’ve sort of come to hate them. I don’t want to believe that I can’t love him without loving myself, because right now, I feel like I love him more than anything. Which may be the problem. He’s right. After yesterday, watching Shelli’s sister try to get him to sleep with her, and then seeing Shelli, who is basically a goddess in heels, I was riddled with jealousy. How could I measure up? I don’t feel like I’m anything even comparable, yet he only looks at me.

  He must know I’m thinking of him, because his eyes fall on me as his grin widens. Carter lays his head on Nico’s chest, and my heart soars. Nico’s going to be a great dad one day, and I pray I get to be the mom. I love that man. When his eyes shift to where Ryan is giving Amelia away, my heart stops.

  “I trust you,” Ryan says, grabbing Chandler’s hand. “You’re my best friend and the man who was made for my sister. Protect her, cherish her, and love her.”

  Chandler’s a blubbering mess, but he nods. “Done deal, bro.”

  “And there is no return policy. She’s yours.”

  Amelia laughs through her sob, and I notice her mom is bawling her eyes out. Amelia’s family is all so beautiful. It’s really unfair to have so many good-looking people in one family. Shouldn’t someone have a boil or something?

  “All mine,” Chandler says, stealing my attention back. He takes her hand, and for the next twenty minutes, I’m swooning.

  Callie leans into me, tears dripping down her cheeks, and I wrap my arms around her. “She’s so beautiful.”

  “She is.”

  “I can’t wait for you to get married,” she whispers, and I kiss her head.

  “Me either.”

  She is as surprised by my confession as I am. She curves her lips as she threads her fingers through mine. We watch as Amelia and Chandler stare into each other’s eyes and the sun warms the scene.

  “The couple has written their own vows, so Amelia, please declare your love for this man.”

  Amelia clears her throat and then presses her lips together as she stares up into Chandler’s eyes. It’s easy to see she is struggling and that the emotion is too much. She blinks away some tears and then brings their hands to their chests. She takes in a deep breath. “I found you young, but it didn’t work out. I went another way, and you did too. I always think about how life would have been if we had tried to make things work, but I now know that we had to take our separate paths to find each other again.” She sniffs, and soon, my tears are flowing faster. “I was bruised and broken when you found me. I felt as if I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love, not even my own. I hated myself. I hated life. I hated everything. I was trying so hard to rebuild my life, but what I didn’t realize at the time was I needed a partner to do it with.”

  Yup, pretty sure there isn’t a dry eye on this beach.