Misadventures with a Manny Read online

  What the hell did I just do?

  And shit, why do I want way more?

  Phillip is going to kill me.

  But I don’t care at the moment—not when her lips are moving with mine as I roll her to her side, holding her tightly to me. How can I worry about that? I have the woman I have been wanting in my arms, and yes, things are about to get very complicated, but I don’t have to worry about that yet. All I have to worry about is making her come over and over again.

  Well, until I have to go get the boys.

  Her eyes burn into mine as she moves her nose against my nose. “Gah. Thank you.”

  I open my eyes, confused. “Thank you?”

  She grins at me. “Lord knows I needed that.”

  Oh.

  Moving my hand up her hip, I squeeze it. “Did you want it?”

  “Oh, yes, so bad.”

  Oh, there is still hope.

  “But you were right. I’m glad I didn’t waste a fuck on someone who didn’t matter.”

  Nope. There went the hope out the window.

  As she kisses my nose, she rolls out of the bed and reaches down. When she sits up, she has her vibrator in her hand; it’s still going like crazy. “This thing is loud,” she says with a giggle, but I’m still flabbergasted.

  Because I’m pretty sure I was just used.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Vera

  “Oh no. What did that asshole Simon do now?”

  Taking in a shaky breath, I shake my head quickly, though Riana can’t see me. No one can. I’m hiding in my bathroom after Lincoln just left to get the boys from practice. I couldn’t face him. Oh, my God, I’m disgusting. “No, it’s not him.”

  I can’t believe what I said. I can’t believe that I’m basically hiding in the bathroom and not coming out. I’m just so damn embarrassed.

  “What? Then why are you calling me crying? Do I need to come over?”

  “No,” I cry, dropping my face into my hands. I want to curl into a ball and melt into the floor. I know it’s impossible, but damn it, I wish I could. “I think I messed everything up with Lincoln.”

  Riana goes silent. “Shit, V. What did you do?”

  My lip wobbles. “I slept with him.”

  She takes in a quick breath. “No way.”

  My eyes fall shut, the embarrassment rushing over me. “I did, and oh, my God, Riana, it was perfect, honestly. I’ve never felt so alive in my life, but when we were done, he’s looking in my eyes, ready for round two, and all these emotions hit me like crazy. I thought I just wanted to fuck someone, but I could honestly go at it with him over and over again and be okay with that.” I groan, my body still vibrating from his touch. “Actually, more than okay.”

  “I don’t understand what’s wrong, then…”

  “I can’t lose him as a nanny, Riana. He is amazing, and I finally got Simon to accept him, and I thought I was just crushing on him, but damn it, I felt something in his arms that I haven’t felt in a really long time.”

  Her voice is full of such concern, and all it does is rattle my soul even more. I can’t believe I just fucked this up. “For fuck’s sake, V. What the hell did you do?”

  I cover my face once more, groaning as my tears run down my face. “I freaked and said I was glad I didn’t waste a fuck on just anyone.” She groans, and more tears roll down my face. “I know.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “’Cause that’s what it needs to be—a fuck—and I was ready to accept that, but Riana, his eyes said so much more, and when I said what I did, he looked as if I’d slapped him.”

  “Oh, Vera. Why…” she groans.

  I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut. “I don’t know. I’m an idiot.”

  “You are.”

  “But I was so worried that he’d be the one to say it and break my heart.”

  “So you say it? Jesus, couldn’t just wait it out?”

  “I’m an idiot, remember?”

  “Damn it. Where is he?”

  “He went to get the boys.”

  “What did he say when he left?”

  “We really didn’t say anything after I dropped that bomb. I got up and went to the bathroom, and then after a bit, he came to the door and said he was gonna get the kids.”

  “Ugh, Vera.”

  “I know.”

  “You gotta talk to him.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t even think I can ever face him.”

  “You have to.”

  “Then what do I say?”

  “I don’t know, but you better figure it out!”

  Closing my eyes, I wish I saw the rubber duckies and not his eyes that were swirling with rejection. I’m not the type to make people feel like that. I’m not fucking Simon! I just freaked. My insecurities came out of nowhere, not believing that he’d want me again. I still can’t believe he took me the way he did, with such determination. Such need. I was on a high, but when he looked at me, I freaked. What if it was just the heat of the moment? What if he is the one using me? But I know none of that is true. I was such a jerk.

  I’m sure Riana agrees.

  Her voice is strained as she says, “When I said to sleep with him, I meant it because I knew that you guys would be good together. I never thought you’d tell him he is just a fuck! He must feel so used.”

  I groan loudly. “I know. I’m an awful person. I don’t want him to feel like that.”

  “You’re not an awful person, but don’t try to make excuses. You’re scared, for good reasons, but crap, V, think before you speak!”

  “I’m out of practice—”

  “Come on, Vera. If you don’t want to be this person you’re acting like, then fix it, because if you don’t, you’re for sure ruining things with him.”

  “I know.” She is absolutely right, and I don’t want that. I like Lincoln a lot, and that scares me. He made love to me. He didn’t just fuck me, and I think that’s what scared the hell out of me. I haven’t been done like that in years, but what the hell am I supposed to do? Apologize, and then what? I don’t know.

  Damn it.

  I’m waiting in the kitchen when the boys and Lincoln walk in. When the twins see me, their faces break into grins. “Mom!”

  My heart fills with joy as they come to me, wrapping their arms around me. Even Charlie is smiling. “I thought you were working late.”

  I hug the boys tightly. “Well, good news, I moved my schedule around, and now I’ll be home early on Thursdays and Fridays to be with you guys!”

  “Really!” Louis gushes, as Elliot asks, “Promise?”

  “Yup! And to celebrate, I wanted to take you guys to dinner. How does that sound?”

  “Awesome!” they both cheer.

  “Well, where are we going?” Charlie asks.

  I glance over at him. “You guys choose.”

  “Pizza!” they all agree in unison before running up the stairs to shower and dress.

  And to think, I didn’t even have to coax them.

  But with them rushing up the stairs, it leaves Lincoln and me alone.

  I look up at him, my face flushing red as I clear my throat, but before I can even try to say something, he goes, “I’m going to head out. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  He won’t even look at me, but I have to stop him. “Actually, I was going to ask you to join us. My treat.”

  He shakes his head before turning most of his body to the door. He wants to leave; his body is basically screaming that. “I’m going to pass. I got stuff to do tonight.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah,” he says simply, tucking his hands in his pockets. “So I’ll—”

  “Can you cancel them? Figured it would be fun to celebrate, and I wanted to talk to you.”

  He shakes his head. “No, I can’t.”

  “You can’t, or you don’t want to?”

  He looks back at me then, and I swear the hurt is swirling in the depths of his gray eyes. “I don’t want to.”