Taking Shots (Assassins) Read online

  “Elli, please. Look at me.” Of course she wouldn’t do that! But being the persistent little ass that he was, he moved her face up so she had nowhere to look but into his eyes. “Baby, please. Don’t let what happen effect what we have going here, it’s not a big deal. We can watch a movie, just be together.” The tears were welling up, he was so sweet, so amazing. And if she didn’t get out of there, she would embarrass herself even more by crying in front of him. She caught him off guard and kissed his cheek softly, before turning out of his embrace and opening the door.

  “I’ll call you,” she practically whispered as she ran out. She heard him call her name but she kept going. By the time she hit the stairs, she was fully crying. Big crocodile tears fell down her burning red cheeks. Her mother used to always tease her about how foolish she looked when she cried. Elli had always been embarrassed after that, but when she got her first roll on Broadway, it was because of her voice and the fact that when she cried the tears were so big that it made it more dramatic. The director loved her. That was until Elli got fat.

  When she reached the truck, she jumped in, locking the doors behind her as she just sat there crying. She had to get it out or she wouldn’t be able to make the drive home. She could always go to Harper’s and calm down, but she didn’t want Harper to see her like this. She was so mad at herself. How long had it been since she had been touched or even touched a man? Forever it seemed. Why couldn’t she do it? Shea was a beautifully made man, he was a buffet, and she could eat him alive! But the thought of him seeing her stretch marks or her pooch made her sick to her stomach with fear.

  Elli pulled back and slammed her hands against the steering wheel as she sobbed. She hated this feeling, because no matter how much running or how little she ate she couldn’t get rid of the pooch. Shea would be done with her in no time; he wouldn’t want to wait forever to have sex with her. Who could blame him? Elli could always get it cut off, she thought, get a nice little tummy tuck, but everyone would know and she would never give her family the satisfaction of watching her fail. Not anymore. Plus, she couldn’t get rid of the stretch marks; they would be forever on her.

  She leaned her head on the steering wheel and watched as the tears fell onto her legs, puddles of them, sliding down the sides of her thighs, thighs that had little dimples and marks too. But they were so little that only Elli knew about them, or so she hoped, because if Shea ever mentioned them she would never wear shorts around him again. She closed her eyes. She hated feeling like this. She wanted to be strong, confident.

  This was probably the only time that she wished she was like Victoria. The confidence Victoria exhibited was so in your face. Men fell at her feet. Why couldn’t Elli be like that? Why couldn’t she throw her clothes off, screw Shea’s brains out right there on his couch? Victoria would have done it in a New York minute, but Elli? Nope, she ran out of there crying.

  How was she ever going to face Shea again?

  When Elli was fully calmed down, she drove home. After parking her truck at the very top of the driveway so everyone would be able to get in, she headed up the walk way, hearing Adler freaking out. Elli’s phone beeped just as she opened the door. Adler took off running and Elli just shrugged as she left the door open for him to come back in. Shea had texted her about ten times since she left. He was, of course, being sweet, but she just couldn’t do it. Couldn’t talk to him, not yet, she pulled out her phone, reading the last text.

  Are you okay? You always answer my text, please just say your okay, I’ll leave you alone until you are ready to talk to me.

  She quickly texted back that, yes, she was okay, and that she would call him later. Even though they both knew she wouldn’t. She laid her purse and everything down on the sofa before going back to her bathroom to clean up. She ran the water as she looked for a wash rag. When she looked up into the mirror seeing her eyes bloodshot and tear streaks across her cheek, she felt like she would cry again. She remembered when she used to look at herself and think how pretty she was, how any guy would die to be with her.

  That wasn’t the case anymore, after Justin and his abuse and her family’s abuse, now she just felt alone. Felt as if no one would ever love her, or even think she was pretty. Yeah, Shea had said it, but he was probably just trying to get into her pants. She really should watch his sweet and smooth words; he was a famous hockey player, not some regular Joe. What did he want with her? She didn’t have anything a beautiful, amazing, geektastic hockey player would want, and with that thought, Elli decided she would cry.

  Elli had cleaned up and gotten dressed just as her friends starting showing up. She had known, Jodi, Walter, and Trice since her Broadway days, Trice used to be her makeup guy, while Walter was the backstage director. They both still worked for the TPAC in Nashville, and loved what they did. Jodi used to act alongside Elli, but when Elli left, Jodi said she didn’t love it as much and quit; now she worked as a Drama Teacher for one of the most prestigious private high schools in the state. She married Derrick almost five years ago; Elli was her maid of honor. She loved her friends something stupid; they knew her inside and out. She also looked forward to these nights every month. No matter what, everyone came over to someone’s house for game night. It was a time for all of them to catch up. She enjoyed it. Elli just wished that the events from today could be put aside, but all she kept seeing my Shea’s pleading eyes.

  Jodi had brought sushi with her for dinner, so everyone gathered around Elli’s family size table and ate while catching up. Elli felt that she was doing a good job hiding the fact that she was dying inside until Jodi gave her a pointed look, pointing her chop stick at her, before saying,

  “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  All eyes went towards Elli as she shrugged, looking down at her sushi roll.

  “Nothing,” she muttered.

  “Liar,” Trice said flamboyantly. Walter sat beside him nodding his head.

  “Elli, darling, we have known you for, like, ever, we know your lying, we knew something was wrong when you answered the door. Now go on, tell your dearest and oldest friends, what’s wrong?” Walter said. Harper sat beside Elli, nodding her head, while Derrick watched from the other side of the table beside Jodi.

  “Nothing wrong guys. I’m just tired.”

  “What happen with Shea today?” Harper asked. Elli cut her a look of death, before she looked at the rest of the table; it was as if everyone leaned closer to her.

  “Shea?” Jodi asked “Who’s that?”

  “No one,” Elli answered, stuffing a piece of sushi in her mouth.

  “Liar!” Trice basically screamed again, causing everyone to giggle as Harper grinned at Elli.

  “You might as well tell em, El, it’s been almost two weeks!”

  “Two weeks?” Jodi asked “What the hell has been going on for two weeks that I don’t know about it!”

  Everyone was staring at Elli. Her heart was slamming against her chest and she felt like sweat was dripping down her back. Could she tell them about Shea? She wasn’t even sure if this thing with Shea would even still be going on after today? She hadn’t been with anyone since Justin, they all knew that and Elli knew they would blow this out the water.

  “Um,” Elli stuttered as Harper shook her head, laughing.

  “Just say it, Elli, it’s no big deal.”

  No big deal? Really? Plus, why was she friends with Harper again?

  “Yeah, just tell us,” Trice cooed, while, Walter just nodded. For being two guys that were in love, they sure did look alike. Both blondes with big brown eyes, the only difference was that Trice was a skinny narrowed faced guy, while Walter was huge, not Shea huge but fat. Jodi and Derrick were completely opposite. Jodi was white, with long blonde hair and huge blue eyes, real skinny and pretty while Derrick was a huge, massive black man that could probably kill Elli with his hands, but he was a sweet guy. These were her people, her best friends.

  “Well, I’m kinda seeing someone,” she heard herself say, the