The Old Man and His God Read online

  Meanwhile Neeta was still pouring out her heart. ‘Do you remember that pink sari I wore one day which everyone commented on and said was so pretty? Even you had asked me where I got it from. I lied that it was a birthday gift from my husband. He has never given me anything on my birthdays. Nobody helped me with my children’s homework or in the kitchen. I would struggle all alone trying to do everything. My life was no different from my colleagues’, but at least they gave themselves the freedom to talk about it and comment in public. I was too busy trying to show I had a perfect life.’

  ‘Now that you have realized that did not work, forget the past and try to be happy.’

  ‘Nothing comes free. I paid a heavy price trying to keep up the pretence of my life. I suffered from repeated bouts of depression. I tried talking about this with some people but they did not understand and I heard some make nasty comments about me. I hope you understand why I have come to you today and told you the truth.’

  I took Neeta’s hand in mine and said to her, ‘Everyone has secrets. We all have faults that we try to hide. But the problem arises when we don’t acknowledge those troubles and faults even to ourselves and pretend to be what we are not. A peacock looks beautiful when it dances but it cannot sing. A cuckoo is dark but has a golden voice. That is why a cuckoo should never dance and a peacock should not try to sing! We can live our lives in happiness only when we acknowledge our difficulties and failures and try to overcome them with our strength of character.’

  20

  Hundred Per Cent Free

  At the Infosys Foundation, we get hundreds of letters every day asking for monetary help for all kinds of purposes—for higher education, a wedding, medical help and so on. Usually we try to verify the genuineness of the claim and then we give sixty to eighty per cent of the total money required by the person. Once I got a letter from someone I had offered to pay a part of the money he required. He said, ‘You are very hard-hearted. Why can’t you give me the entire amount that I have asked for?’ I do so because two incidents in my life taught me that sometimes it is better to let a person struggle. It provides an incentive to strive harder. Anything given away for free loses value and is not treated with the respect it deserves.

  A few years back, when I looked out of my office window, I used to see a young boy of about fourteen selling dusters at the traffic light. He was thin as a stick and dressed in rags. I used to compare his state with the smartly-dressed children sitting in school buses, carrying their bags of books and would feel bad at the boy’s deprivation. One day, I decided to do something about it and called him up to my office. He walked in looking scared and diffident. I offered him some coffee and biscuits to make him feel at ease. Initially he was feeling too awkward to eat. But slowly, he relaxed and after drinking the coffee answered my questions.

  His name was Ravi and his father was a coolie and his mother a housemaid. He studied in a local school and in the morning hours he sold car dusters to earn some money for his education.

  I asked, ‘How much money do you make every month?’

  He said, ‘Between thirty to forty rupees a month’

  ‘Can I see your progress card?’

  The next day the boy came with his progress card. He was doing well in school and was obviously a bright child. So I said, ‘Suppose I gave you fifty rupees a month, then you would not need to sell dusters in the morning. Instead you can use the time to do your homework or learn something else.’ The boy was taken aback at the proposition and looked at me uncomprehendingly. So I said, ‘Just suppose I am buying all your stock of cloth every month and also giving a few rupees extra. That would mean you are earning Rs 50. Use it to study further. But I will want to see your progress report every three months before giving you the money.’ Now he understood and agreeing to my idea he left with great joy written on his face.

  Thereafter he came to my office every three months and after showing his card he would leave with the money. His progress report showed he was doing well in school. One day, he asked to speak to me. I was happy to see a smart, confident young boy in front of me. He came straight to the point, ‘Madam, now my stipend should be increased to Rs 100 per month.’

  ‘Why do you say so?’

  ‘Madam, two years back each duster was for Rs 2. Now it is Rs 4. So, you should pay me Rs 100 per month.’

  I looked at him in surprise. Obviously he looked at the money he got from me each month as his due and did not feel the need to work himself to earn more.

  Another incident soon after that convinced me to start my policy of extending only part of the help where money was concerned.

  I am very fond of atlases. When I was growing up in a village, it was difficult to get hold of one. So when I started the foundation I decided to start distributing atlases free to school libraries. In them children could see the country and the world and learn the vastness of the planet they lived in. I thought it was the perfect way to open a child’s eyes to the immense variety of life on earth. Later, teachers used to come to my office and collect them free for their schools.

  Once I was spending some time in the rural parts of Karnataka on work. It was dusk and the cattle were coming back after their day’s grazing. There was a pall of dust everywhere and I smelled the wonderful aroma of fresh groundnuts in the air. A man was sitting with a pile of freshly plucked groundnuts in front of the local school gate. It was quite irresistible and I went up to him and asked for a kilo. The man was a farmer selling his product directly to customers passing that way.

  He weighed a kilo and gave it to me loose. ‘Take this and put it in your bag,’ he said. I was not carrying one, so I asked him to get one from somewhere. He thought for a minute then he turned to his assistant and said, ‘Run into the school, the classrooms are still open. There will be a big red book there, with thick pages. Tear out one page and get it.’ Before I could protest the boy had run into the school. Soon he came holding a colourful page and I was handed my kilo of groundnuts in it. I looked closely at the page and realized it was from one of the atlases I had given to the school some months back! I was shocked.

  ‘Why did you tear the page from this book?’ I asked. The man answered, ‘Oh some lady gives these book free to the school. The paper is nice and thick, so we use it sometimes for wrapping things.’

  Then seeing the shocked look on my face he said placatingly, ‘We do it only when we need paper in a hurry, not otherwise.’

  I looked down sadly at the pack of groundnuts in my hand. In that dim light, I was sure I could make out the seal of our foundation on it.

  21

  Two Faces of Poverty

  Leela has been working in my office for many years. She sweeps, dusts and mops. She does her work quietly and takes on any extra work without any complaints. Since she was always so quiet and I was usually very busy, I did not know much about her personal life, apart from the fact that her husband had deserted her and she was bringing up three daughters singlehandedly.

  One day, she came in to clean my office and after doing her work, stood hesitantly in front of me. It was such an uncharacteristic thing for her to do, that I was surprised. Slowly, she brought out a soiled bundle and put it in front of me. Then she said in a low voice, ‘Madam can you lend me twenty thousand rupees?’ I was still puzzled and asked, ‘What happened Leela? Why do you suddenly need so much money?’ She replied, ‘My youngest daughter wants to join college and I need the money for that.’ While she was explaining I opened the cloth bundle. Inside, there was a pair of worn out gold bangles. ‘Why are you giving this to me Leela?’ I asked.

  ‘These are the only assets I have. I will do anything to see my daughter studies further. She is very bright. She wants to become an engineer.’

  I could make out the pride in her voice when she spoke of the girl. But when has a child not seemed the best and the brightest to her mother? So I told Leela, ‘Take back these bangles. I am not a moneylender. I want to meet your daughter and talk to her myself. Ask her t