Grandma's Bag of Stories Read online

  They sat around wondering what to do. What would they say to the bear when he came expecting to eat payasam? Then, a devious plan entered Mohan’s head. What if they made payasam with all kinds of other ingredients? After all, it was only a bear, and he had never tasted this dish earlier, so how would he know what it really tasted like?

  The cunning man and his wife then took a little bit of milk, added lots of water to it, threw in a handful of rice, and instead of jaggery and nuts and spices they added pebbles and sand and cardamom husks and stirred and stirred the mixture till it looked somewhat like payasam. They placed the brass pot filled with this in front of the house and went and hid in the bushes somewhere at the back.

  As soon as night fell, a huge dark figure appeared down the road. On its back it carried fifty bundles of firewood. It was the bear, come to dinner!

  He reached Mohan’s house and looked around. There was no one. Then, right in front of the house, he spotted the pot full of payasam. Unable to wait any longer, he flung down the bundles he had carried and fell upon the payasam. Only after he had eaten more than half the potful did he realize something was wrong. The milk was watery, the rice was half cooked and there was horrible grit and pebbles between his teeth! Ugh!

  Oh, how angry he was now! Furious, he shouted out for Mohan. But Mohan was cowering behind the bushes and did not reply. Now angrier than ever, the bear spotted the mango tree and rubbed his back against it. The mangoes came raining down, he shook the tree so hard. The bear continued to stamp and shake the tree, till it fell with a huge crash right on to the banana field and crushed the best banana plants. Seeing the firewood he had carried all the way from the forest lying around, the bear started throwing them around. One fell into the oven in the kitchen and set fire to the house. Soon Mohan and Basanti’s house was in flames, his field in ruins and his prized mango tree destroyed.

  Finally satisfied that he had taken his revenge the bear stormed back into the forest. When Mohan and his wife crawled out of their hiding place and came back home they saw everything was in ruins. How they wailed and wept and wished they hadn’t been so greedy and left the bear his share of payasam.

  But what was the use of lamenting now? The damage was done, and the greedy couple had learnt what I told you earlier—never anger a bear! And if you make a promise to one, keep it!

  Fire on the Beard

  What a grand picnic everyone had! They played and ate and splashed in the water till late evening. Ajja and Ajji had to drag them back home. That night the children tumbled into bed and were fast asleep even before Ajji switched off the lights. Quietly she tucked them in. The next morning there was no sign of anyone waking up. Ajja and Ajji went about their work, not waking the children. But when it was ten o’clock, Ajji decided they had to wake up now. So she came into the room and found all four were up and chatting in bed. She looked at them for a while with her hands on the hips. Then she said, ‘So, I think you’ve had enough rest. Now up all of you. Wash up and get ready. I’ll give you your lunch by noon.’

  All the others jumped up except Anand. He grinned at Ajji and said, ‘You know, I can live without food if I get to lie in bed all day.’

  ‘Really?’ Ajji said. ‘So be it. Everyone else, lunch will be ready at twelve, so be there on time. Oh, and those who lie around in bed will also miss the afternoon story.’ Then she walked off trying to hide a smile. Anand and miss a meal! He was the one who loved his food the most!

  Anand was quiet. The rest sprang out of their beds and went to brush their teeth and have a bath. Soon the aroma of onion dosa wafted through the house. It was too delicious to resist. Everyone gathered in the kitchen to help grind the dosa batter.

  By now Anand was bored and hungry, lying alone in bed. He quietly went and took his bath. He was worried—what if Ajji had taken him seriously and not kept a share of the dosa for him? And what if he had to miss that day’s story? When Ajji saw him appear at the kitchen and join in, she laughed and said, ‘You have become like Brij.’

  ‘Who is Brij, Ajji?’

  So Ajji started the story while the children ate the dosas.

  Yaaawwnnn! Brij stretched out in the sun, yawned loud and long, and went back to sleep. Is Brij a rich man on a holiday; or has he worked hard all day and just resting for a while? Neither! Brij was the laziest, most good-for-nothing fellow you’ll ever meet. He would spend entire days just lying around on his bed doing nothing. He was too lazy to even trim his beard and it had grown right down to his knees. All day he sat around combing it and admiring it, doing nothing else. His mother would call him, his wife would scold him, but Brij was not one to mend his ways.

  This is how most conversations with his wife, Shanti, would go:

  ‘Can you get some water from the well? There is no water in the house.’

  ‘The well is dry. There’s no water there.’

  ‘Can you fetch water from the pond, at least?’

  ‘The pond is too far. I can’t walk so much for a pot of water.’

  ‘Then pluck those coconuts from the tree.’

  ‘Oh, those coconuts are still tender. Let’s pluck them next month.’

  ‘What about getting some areca nuts from the tree then?’

  ‘Don’t you know, areca nuts are not good for health?’

  ‘Help me plough the field then.’

  ‘It is too hot. The sun will burn my skin. It’s better if you too did not go there.’

  ‘Can you at least look after the house when I am in the field?’

  ‘There is nothing to look after in the house.’

  And so on and on Brij would make excuses for not doing any work that was asked of him. Of course he was never too tired to eat! As soon as his wife would lay out the meal, he would jump out of bed saying, ‘Oh you have prepared food for me with such love, it is my duty to eat it.’ And then he would gobble down all that was given.

  When evening fell, Brij would roll out of bed, comb his hair and beard and set off to meet his gang of friends. Seeing how he managed to get out of doing any work, many others in the village had decided to do the same. All these people had formed a club, The Idlers’ Club. They would meet every evening and sit around and talk about all kinds of things. They claimed this way they were improving their general knowledge, but all they were really doing was gossip and boast.

  Brij, as the leader of the club, would get to boast the loudest and longest. One day, the topic was who was the laziest of all.

  ‘Bathing every day is such a waste of time and precious water. I take a bath once in two days. That way I even save water!’ said Manoj, the environmentalist.

  ‘I never make my bed,’ boasted Suresh, the innkeeper. ‘Why bother when you have to lie down in it once again at the end of the day?’

  ‘I eat my food out of the vessel in which it is cooked,’ claimed Raju, the cook. ‘Putting the food in the plate only increases the work for you will need to wash it too.’

  Now Brij thought he should say something that would beat all these other tall tales. So he said, ‘I am always cool and calm. Why, even if my beard were to catch fire I would start digging a well at that time, and never store water close at hand!’

  As these discussions were happening, a real fire broke out in the village! It burned down buildings and roofs and sheds, crackling and throwing up sparks, making villagers run helter-skelter looking for water to douse the flames.

  The Idlers’ Club heard all the commotion but no one bothered to step out to see what was happening. ‘What is going on?’ they only asked each other.

  ‘Oh nothing,’ Brij dismissed the topic. ‘Must be some circus or the other. So, what were we talking about?’

  By now the fire had spread to their road. It was fast making its way to the house where the idlers were sitting. It got hotter and hotter. Brij’s friends started sweating and getting nervous now. Soon the roof of the house caught fire. Still Brij kept saying, ‘Don’t worry, don’t worry. It will rain now and put this out.’ Then ‘The