Breaking Hammer Read online

  Back when my wife was alive.

  Back when everything was the way it should be.

  I opened the car door and stepped out, feeling awkward in jeans and a t-shirt, suddenly reminded of what I used to wear. The emblem of brotherhood.

  Some fucking brotherhood, after what had happened with Mad Dog. After what he had done to April.

  Blaze walked outside, a grin on his face. “Good to see you, man,” he said, clapping my shoulder. “It’s been way too fucking long.”

  Whatever my misgivings were about being back here, I couldn’t help but be glad to see him. Blaze used to be a friend. He still would be if I were around here any more. If I were part of the club. “You too, Blaze. How are things going?”

  Blaze nodded. “Smooth. Come in. Have a beer or something.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, sure."

  "You just drop MacKenzie off at the airport?" he asked.

  I nodded.

  "Shit man," Blaze said. "That's fucking rough."

  I nodded. "At least we got her on a direct flight out of LAX. Couldn't get her anything direct out of Vegas. Didn't want her trying to navigate airports by herself, even with a flight attendant or whatever the hell." I answered him like he was just talking about the travel itself being rough. That wasn't what he was fucking talking about, and I knew it. But I didn't want to talk about how rough it was that my kid was going to be far away because I wasn't a good enough dad.

  "April's mom seemed like a good lady," Blaze said. He was trying to make me feel better.

  It wasn't going to work.

  I followed Blaze inside the mostly empty clubhouse, a handful of brothers watching a game on the TV. I stared at the concrete floor still stained this ugly rust brown color, where the residue from Mad Dog still remained.

  Blaze saw me looking at the floor. “Yeah, I kept it like that,” he said.

  “The cops never…”

  He shook his head. “No real investigation. They came by asking a few questions, but that was it. We made the bodies disappear. With Benicio's help.”

  “What about Kate?” Mad Dog's wife had been just as involved in his shit as he had been.

  “I took care of her,” Blaze said. His features tightened and his gaze became intense.

  "You did?" I asked.

  Blaze nodded. "Personally."

  Blaze was pretty easy-going, tolerant of a lot of bullshit. People sometimes made the mistake of interpreting his laid-back attitude as indicative of weakness. But you only crossed Blaze once. He took shit like that real personal. I had no doubt that Kate's treachery was met with an appropriate degree of vengeance from Blaze.

  “Crunch,” Knuckles yelled. “How the hell are ya, you rotten old bastard?” He walked up, hand extended. I took it to give it a firm shake and found myself wrapped up in a bear hug. I couldn't help but smile, knowing that some things really did always stay the same. Knuckles was one of those guys who would never change, gregarious to the point of obnoxious, perpetually in need of a shower, and the first to throw a punch if shit was going down.

  He dropped me and I nodded. “I’m okay, Knuck. How’s the family?”

  “Oh, you know,” he said. “Same old. Cassie got a boyfriend.”

  “Oh, shit.”

  “Yeah, she told me it was none of my fucking business.” He laughed. “Can you believe that shit? Sixteen years old. I had a little chat with the boyfriend. Surprised he stuck around. What the fuck man, you been working out? Looks like you’ve been in fucking lock-up or something.”

  “Yeah, been working out.” I didn’t add that it was about the only thing that kept me from losing my fucking mind anymore.

  I turned to Blaze. "How's Dani?"

  "Good," he said. "She's doing great in law school. Told her she'd better be doing good. She'll probably have to defend my ass one of these days."

  "Here?" I asked. "Or is she still at Stanford?" I should know these things. The old me would have known these things.

  "UCLA," he said.

  "That's good." I was silent. Blaze and one of the other guys made idle chit-chat and I looked around, detached from the whole thing. I didn't recognize some of the newer patches, and the whole place had a different flavor since I had left. It was kind of like going back to visit your parents after years away- everything was the same, but it was all different.

  It definitely didn't have the same vibe it had when Mad Dog was running the show, but that last year with Mad Dog in charge everything had gone to shit anyhow. The whole place had been out of control crazy, parties all the time, drinking, drugging. It hadn't just been me that was out of control. The whole fucking club was. This, now- it was more subdued somehow. The guys sitting around, relaxed, watching the game. It was more...normal, I guess.

  One of the brothers, someone who had been patched since I left, walked up to me, held out his hand. "Hey, man," he said. "You're a fucking legend around these parts. Nice to meet you."

  "A legend, huh?" I repeated the word slowly. "I'm not sure why."

  A kid, one of the prospects, stood a few feet away, obviously eager. "Hammer," he said, nodding. "They've been calling you Hammer. Why are you riding up here in a cage, man?"

  I felt blood pumping in my ears, and my face was immediately hot. Some stupid prospect without a filter and a shred of common sense wanted to run his mouth? Retired or not, I was going to fuck this kid up. "You want to find out why I'm riding in a cage, you stupid fuck?"

  My fist clenched, my feet shifted, and then Blaze yelled, "Shut the fuck up, Prospect! No one said you could fucking talk. Thatcher, get in here and take care of your goddamn prospect."

  The prospect looked down at the ground, hung his head, and Thatcher slapped him across the head like a chastised child, then pushed him out the door, screaming like a drill sergeant at boot camp.

  "Hammer?" I turned to Blaze. "When the fuck did that happen? That's some serious bullshit, especially from a prospect."

  "He'll be taken care of." Blaze said. "Prospects don't need to be opening their fucking mouths like that. Actually, you can go kick the shit out of him if you want." Blaze nodded toward the open door.

  I glanced outside, then shrugged it off. The truth was, I didn't know if I could stop once I started. Lately, it seemed like more and more was setting me off, and I was going zero to sixty in mere seconds. It used to take a lot more than this kind of bullshit to push me over the edge.

  "Hammer?" I asked.

  "The Hammer thing," Blaze said. "It's because word gets around, Crunch. I sent two brothers to help Benicio's guys clean that shit up. They came back to the club, drank themselves incoherent, and you know, shit happens. What they said became legend. For fuck's sake, even Benicio's hitters think you're the goddamned boogeyman now, and those guys are hard fucking dudes."

  "Jesus Christ." I didn't know what to think about that shit. Achieving a reputation for pulverizing someone into pieces with a sledgehammer was one thing I'd never expected in life. It was also tied to my wife's murder, and I didn't need another fucking reminder of that. Not in a name. I'd thrown away my original road name, Crunch, when I retired. I didn't want to be reminded of the past.

  Blaze saw the look on my face. "Come on," he said, turning. "Have a beer with me. Unless you want something stronger."

  "Beer's good," I said. Blaze grabbed a couple of longnecks from the bar as we passed it, and ushered me into the back room, Mad Dog's former office.

  "Place looks different without Mad Dog here," I said.

  Blaze nodded. "Not just the office, either."

  "I noticed that," I said. "Out there. It's a little calmer."

  "Things are good, Ha - Crunch," Blaze corrected himself. So he was calling me Hammer now too.

  "I'm glad to hear it," I said. "Working with Benicio is good for the club." I assumed they were still working with Benicio. I wasn't privy to club business now, and I knew not to even broach the topic. I was trying to be friendly, casual. But this was fucking awkward. I had no real reason to be