Cannon Read online

  "Shit, Addy," he says, his voice breaking.   I love that.   I love that I make his voice break like that.   I love that I bring him to his knees.

  When I lower myself onto him, it's not gently or gingerly.   I slide onto him easily, aided by my slickness, and Hendrix lets out a moan, uttering my name followed by several expletives.

  This time, I'm the one who threads my fingers through his, pinning his hands above his head so I can ride him.   Close to him at first, rocking against him and savoring the feeling of him inside me, of being in control of the man who's usually in control, then sitting up as waves of pleasure wash over me again and again.

  Hendrix grips my hips, plunging me down tightly on his cock until I'm filled to the hilt.   "You feel so fucking good like this, Addy," he says, his voice low.

  I love the feeling of him bare, the tip of his cock stroking me inside, pressing against the most sensitive place in me.   I reach down, rubbing my clit as I ride him, letting the sensation wash over me as he brings me higher and higher until I'm almost on the edge.   "Oh, God, Hendrix, I'm so close," I moan.

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  "I want to feel you come on me," Hendrix says.   "Nothing between us. "

  The thought of coming on Hendrix's bare cock pushes me over the edge, and I let go, crying out loudly, moaning Hendrix's name.   His hands are tight on my ass cheeks and he groans as he presses his cock into me and fills me up with his warm seed.

  Later that night, I lie in bed with Hendrix back at the hotel room, my eyes closed but not sleeping.

  "Are you awake?" Hendrix whispers.

  "Yep. "

  "The song tonight," he says.   "It was good.   Really good. "

  "Indie-folk is not a seller, my record label says.   Not for me," I whisper.

  "Fuck 'em," Hendrix says.   "You were alive up there, you know.   More than when I've seen you perform, or in the studio.   That was different. "

  Because it was about you, I want to say.   It's different because it was for you.

  Then he asks the question, the one I've been wanting him to ask.   "Who was the song about?"

  I pause, opening and closing my mouth several times before I answer.   "It was just a song, Hendrix," I lie.   My words catch in my throat, and I'm glad he can't see me in the darkness.   Why didn't I say what I wanted to say?  It's so easy, putting the words down on paper, singing them in front of a room full of strangers.   But now when it's the two of us here, alone in bed, it's suddenly impossible to speak the words out loud.

  I love you.   I've loved you forever.

  I'm scared to love you the way I do.

  I'm terrified of losing you.

  TEN MONTHS AGO

  Addy-girl,

  I haven't written you a letter in a long time.   I used to write them every week.   Hell, sometimes in Afghanistan it was every fucking day.   I think I needed to hang on to something, when I was out there.

  Out in the field, I'd think about swimming lessons in the pool, replay those nights over and over in my head until I swear I could almost smell the chlorine instead of the stench of dirt in my nostrils.   And I would tell myself that if I could make it through, I'd go to you.   I'd show up on your front door, and I'd make a grand declaration of love, tell you all the things I didn't say before because I was young and stupid and thought that I had so many years ahead of me it didn't matter.

  And then after that, I couldn't write anymore.

  I can't write you anymore.

  I'm coming back to Nashville.   You don't know it, but I am.   I'm not a Marine anymore.   I'll wear a collared shirt, and sit at a desk, and waste away.

  I'll rot away in the same city where you live, but I can't bring myself to see you.

  So I won't write you anymore.   I have to let you go.

  I'm going to try to let you go this time.   I think I can.

  PRESENT DAY

  "Are you nervous?" I whisper, once we're backstage.   I'm trying not to stare at her, except it's really hard not to when she's looking like nineteen fifties glam, like she just stepped off the set of an old movie.   It was on purpose, her mother's idea to channel a time characterized by wholesome American values, a reaction to the fact that we went running off together on a road trip.   A few people uploaded videos of Addy singing at the bar, and they went viral.

  Our parents went ballistic -- not because of me and Addy, though.   I don't think she suspects us of anything like. . . well, having sex on the beach.   The Wicked Bitch and the Colonel were angry, accused us of being rebellious teenagers "playing hooky. "  Hooky from what, I'm not sure.   But there was no hint that anything else was happening other than Addy dragging her bodyguard to the beach for a little friendly fun.

  "No," Addy says, as I escort her to her dressing room.   I'm careful not to touch her on the small of the back, the way that I want to in the middle of all of these people.   The backstage area is crowded with performers, workers for the show who bustle about, weaving and winding through the stars, taking purposeful steps.   People say hello to Addy, squealing and air-kissing her.   She doesn't seem nervous at all.   She seems calm, and that makes me happy.   I know crowds make her anxious, but she's not even doing her regular counting thing.

  Inside the dressing room, she kisses me as soon as I close the door, her arms around my neck.   "Careful, Addy-girl," I warn.   "Unless you want me to fuck you right here in your dressing room before your performance.   Is that what you want?"

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  "Mhmm," she murmurs.   "That's what you should do.   It's good luck, you know. "

  "Oh, is it, now?"  I back her up against the wall.   "I wouldn't want to ruin this dress. "

  "No," she says, her voice soft as she looks up at me.   "It's from the designer.   I'm pretty sure it costs as much as a car. "

  "So I should be gentle, then," I say.   But the last thing I'm about to do is be gentle with her.

  "I hope not," she says.   "I'd be disappointed if you were. "  Then she reaches for my pants.   "I really like you in a tux, you know. "

  "I'd rather be out of it," I say.   "But not yet. "

  "Are you going to make me beg for it?" Addy asks, feigning disappointment and giving me an exaggerated sigh.

  "Isn't it better when you tell me exactly how much you want it?"  I ask, sliding down to my knees in front of her, pulling up the edges of the gown and placing my hands on her ankles.   I want to rip this dress off her and take her right now, but that's what she wants me to do too, so I'll make her wait.   At least for that much.

  "Hendrix," she says softly.   "I want you inside me. "

  "I'm going to be inside you," I say.   "After I lick that sweet pussy of yours until I'm satisfied.   Tell me that's what you want me to do.   Tell me you want my tongue on you, licking and sucking, your clit in my mouth, until you come on my face. "  I slide my hands up the inside of her legs, pushing the fabric of her dress up until it's over my head and it falls over the top of me.   "Tell me. "

  Underneath her dress, her scent is intoxicating.   I don't know what it is about her, but I could keep my face buried between her legs all the time and be a happy man.   I can't get enough of her.

  "I want you to touch me," she says, and as I reach between her legs, lightly grazing her pussy lips with the tips of my fingers, she moans.   My cock is rigid against the fabric of my tuxedo pants at the mere act of touching her, and I want nothing more than to plunge myself deeply inside of her tight pussy.   But I wait.

  "What else?" I ask.   I want her to tell me what she wants.   I like to hear her speak the words.

  "I want you to lick me," she says, so I touch my tongue gently to her, licking the length of her, pressing my tongue against her clit, sucking it into my mouth as she makes little moaning sounds.   Being between her legs like this is